An, As of Now, Untitled Story
by eight-cent-plantation
Summary: It was as if happiness was a distant memory that they were trying desperately to keep hold of...somehow everytime that they caught hold of it something else took it away. They battled with it for years, but they still managed to know how to laugh. rr
1. Prologue of Sorts

**Disclaimer: My name is Kristin, so obliviously I do not own anything pertaining to Harry Potter. JK Rowling is a good sport and lets us fans write this fanfiction stuff, so obviously I wouldn't try to steal anything from her. And that is my disclaimer.**

**Prologue**

"Prongs?" No. Answer. "Prongs?" Nothing. "JAMES!"

James Potter's messy black mop went wild as his head snapped around to look at his friend. "What?"

"What are you doing?" Sirius Black questioned.

"Nothing," said James. "Thinking about things."

"Things like…?"

"Since when did you get so nosey, Padfoot?"

Sirius looked hurt. "You are so mean, James Potter," he said. He pretended to stop and think for a moment, and then added, "Sexy, but mean." James rolled his eyes at his best friend. "I'm worried about you, James. If Remus were here, he'd say the same."

"Don't worry," said James. "I'm fine."

"Where were you all summer?" Sirius inquired. "No one has seen you once since King's Cross at the end of last school year."

"I was busy," James threw at Sirius. "I'm Tired. Wake me for the food cart, alright?"

James put his feet up and closed his eyes, giving Sirius no chance to argue it. The summer…it wasn't the best summer that James had had in his young life. He felt bad for shutting Sirius out, but he had no idea where to even begin….


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One: The Pre-Prologue (Or, A Flashback)**

James awoke, thinking about how strange it felt to be alone in his own flat. He did his usual home-in-the-morning routine. That is, he stood and slipped on some slippers, stretched a bit, put on a t-shirt and his glasses, and headed down to his kitchen to start breakfast.

His morning routine, which had worked out for him for the entire first two weeks of the summer, was interrupted by a cute redhead. Lily Evans was sitting at his kitchen table, along with two hefty plates of bacon, sausage and scrambled eggs.

"Uh…"

"Good morning, James," she said politely. "I made breakfast."

"Lillian Evans, why are you in my kitchen?" James questioned. Realizing that he was standing there in only boxers and a tight t-shirt, he took a seat across from the blushing female.

"I made breakfast for you," Lily repeated.

"I can see that," James said. "But why are you, Lily Evans, in my, James Potter's, kitchen?" He pulled one of the plates toward him. "If my memory serves me correctly, you're in love with an oaf who has forbidden us to ever even be in the same room together, much less alone in my kitchen when I'm wearing only underclothes."

"I don't even know if I _can_ respond to that," Lily said quietly. James began to eat his food.

"How about telling me why I woke up to find you here with breakfast all ready for me. That's a simple start."

"That…is a long story," Lily said hesitantly.

"Lily, throughout the, what, _six _years that I've known you, nine out of ten times you say that something is 'a long story,' it really isn't." Lily looked down at her plate and pushed her eggs around with her fork. "What is it, Lily?" James asked, concern etched deep into his features.

"Can I stay here for a little while, James?" Lily questioned quietly.

"Are you going to tell me why?" James shot back.

Lily sighed. "Michael was very controlling, James.

"This I know."

"He did things to me…"

James shot up in fury. "Did he force y-"

"No!" Lily shouted, hands up in defense. "No. Nothing like that."

James returned to his seat, but the hatred for Michael never left his eyes. It rarely did during a conversation where that name was brought up. In contrast, his voice was completely calm. "What did he do, Lily?"

Lily took her wand out. "Thank Merlin for being of age, eh?" She pointed it at her own face and slowly a shiny bruise appeared.

"He did that to you?" James asked, sadness and anger both battling to shine through. "That's a bad black eye, Lily." She nodded. "Why would you let him do that to you?" The sadness was winning. "You're so…you're _Lily._"

Lily said nothing, opting instead to continue playing with her eggs.

"Oh, Lily…" James stood and dragged his chair over to where Lily was sitting. He gave a small sigh. "You can stay here, Lils…for as long as you need." He took her hand in one of his and lightly touched her face with his other one. "Let me go get my wand; I know a few basic healing spells that should clear this right up."

James stood and left the kitchen. Lily let a few tears escape her eyes and rapidly attempted to compose herself.

When James returned he had his wand and was now wearing a pair of pants.

"Hold still," said James. He muttered a quick spell and Lily's face was as good as new. "How long has this been going on?"

"A while," Lily muttered. "Can we talk about this later? I was up all night flying here." She motioned to her broomstick which was under the table. "Is it alright if I just nap for a little while?"

"Of course," James said. "Take my bed."

"Thank you so much, James," Lily said, standing and throwing her arms around his neck. "I know we haven't spoken in ages…I'm just glad you can look past my idiocy."

"You know I care about you, Lils," James said. "You go and nap. I'm going to go to the market to pick up some food." Lily nodded. She left James in the kitchen.

James sighed, shaking his head. "No, Potter," he muttered to himself. "You can't go there again." He lifted his want. "Accio jacket."

His light coat zoomed toward him and off to the market he went.

The door opened.

"What?"

"Hello, Michael."

"Potter."

"I'm here to collect Lily's things." James was shooting Michael venomous looks. "Move."

"She's with _you_?!" A manic look plastered itself to Michael's face.

"Yes, now move."

Without warning, Michael wound up and hit James in the face. James couldn't stop himself; he pushed Michael through the doorway and followed him in. He hit him square in the face before drawing his wand.

"Petraficous totalis!" he shouted. Michael froze. "Jerk," James muttered. "Dumbledore will have my head when he hears about this."

James found Lily's trunk in the room that she and Michael had shared and began to pack her things.

Lily awoke with her face smothered in James' pillow. She enjoyed the fact that it smelled very much like him. Turning over, Lily began to stretch a bit.

_James is being so amazing_, she thought. She looked at the clock. _It's nearly five. Maybe I'll start supper for him._

Upon inspection, Lily found that she was alone in the flat, but there was a fresh stock of groceries in the kitchen. Lily picked out the ground beef, deciding to cook a meatloaf.

James walked into the kitchen around the time Lily was finishing up her cooking. He froze when he saw her standing there, mixing the contents of a pot in his pajama pants and one of his t-shirts.

"Where did you go after shopping?" Lily questioned. She moved from the pot and began to slice the meatloaf.

_Stop it, James! _he scolded himself. "Your things are up in my room," he said aloud. He approached the refrigerator to get some drinks. "You sleep up there and I'll sleep on the couch."

Lily, as she made up two plates and brought them to the table, protested. "No, James. I'm already using my one generosity coupon. I'm not willing to make you sleep on the couch, I will."

"Lily, just shut up and take the bed."

Lily sighed. "Fine, but if-wait a moment," she cut herself off. "How did you get my things?"

"I went over and picked them up," James said as if it were no big deal.

"JAMES!" Lily scolded. "Why would you do that? Now he's going to know where I'm staying. I wanted to just…disappear."

"Lils," James began to reason with a mouth full of mashed potatoes, "He doesn't know where I live. Besides, you can't just disappear, we go to school with the idiot. You don't need to worry about him anymore, I'm here and I always will be."

"Thank you, James."

"King's Cross."

James paid the muggle driver. He stepped out of the taxi and pulled the two trunks from the trunk. Lily stayed with the luggage while James went for carts.

"James," Lily said once they were on their way to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.

"Hmm?"

"I just want to say thanks again," she said. "You've been great all summer."

"All in a day's work, m'dear," James said jokingly.

"Listen…" Lily began nervously. "Michael's been writing to me and I've been hesitant to tell you…."

James stopped dead in his tracks. He knew exactly what she was going to say, but he didn't want to believe that she would. After all, she was way too smart for this!

"He's gotten better," Lily went on. "He was under a lot of the stress when everything that happened was going on."

"Lily-"

"I'm going to give him a second chance, James," Lily cut him off. "Everyone deserves a second chance."

"Lily…he hurt you."

"I know, James, and he's sorry."

"That's what they always say!" James exclaimed.

"James, please don't-"

"Forget it," James said sharply. "You do what you want." He walked away from Lily and toward the barrier.

"James!" she called after him. "Don't walk away, James! Don't be mad!" She was following him closely now. "We have to work together this year," she reminded him when he wouldn't turn around. "You can't ignore me forever!" He passed through the barrier. "Damn it," Lily muttered.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two: Short Chapter, Sorry**

"James, I got you some chocolate frogs!" Sirius shouted, chucking one at James' head.

James shot up at once. "Whawazdat?"

"You told me to wake you for food," said Sirius, admiring the latest addition to his trading card collection. "I got you some frogs."

"Oh, thanks." James picked the frog that had bounced off of his head up off of the floor. Unwrapping it, he asked Sirius, "What's the time?"

"Almost five."

James' heart began to race. "I'm going to be late!" he shouted.

He pulled down the robes that he had removed from his trunk earlier and put them on as fast as he could. "I have a meeting in the front car," he explained to a puzzled looking Sirius. He pulled his Head Boy badge from his pocket, pinned it on, and was gone.

James skidded to a halt outside of the compartment he needed to be in. After catching his breath for a moment, he entered. The only people in there were Lily and Michael.

When they heard the door slide open, the couple broke their kiss. "Hello, James," Lily said. James nodded in her general direction, choosing to sit as far away from the two as possible.

"Where is everyone?" he questioned.

"I've let them all go already," said Lily. "I told them you were taking care of some disciplinary action."

"Yeah, sorry," James said, running a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. "Fell asleep…"

"Don't worry about it. You know how these go, nothing important was said."

Nodding, James stood. He caught Michael's eye for a moment and they both glared at each other. "See you."

Upon James' return to his compartment, James discovered that Sirius had gone off somewhere, probably to find some of the girls. James threw himself to his seat and rested his head in his hands.

Why did she have to show up to his flat? Why did she have to stay with him, need _his _help when he had finally gotten over the way he felt about her? And why did he have to love her so much?


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

"We're trying something new this year. You will have your own rooms attached to a private common room for you to share. It is my hope that this will help you get more work done, seeing as you have some new responsibilities this year as our head students." Professor Dumbledore stopped at a seemingly normal suit of armor.

"Papageno," said the Headmaster. The suit of armor stepped down from his pedestal and opened a trap door. "Good night."

"Good night, Professor," Lily and James said in unison.

Lily climbed down first and James followed. The knight closed the trap door once James had made it in and stood on top of it once again.

The common room resembled that of Gryffindor Tower, but it was considerably smaller seeing as it was only meant for two. The fire was roaring. There were two armchairs, a couch, a huge window and window seat…it was very cozy.

For a moment, James and Lily stood at the bottom of the ladder. Lily opened her mouth to speak, but James beat her to it, saying, "I'm tired. Good night, Lily."

James headed for the room that had his name on the door, closing it before Lily could really protest. Deciding that she would try to talk to him in the morning, Lily turned in for the night as well.

The next morning found James, Sirius and a very worn out Remus all falling asleep over their breakfasts, James explaining to them how to find his new residence.

"So you get to live with Lily Evans all year, eh?" Remus questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't go there, Moony," said James.

As if on queue, Lily entered the Great Hall and made a b-line for where James, Sirius and Remus were sitting. Michael wasn't at breakfast yet.

"Hey, Sirius, Remus," she said, flashing a smile.

"Good morning, Lily," they both said.

"James, can I have a word?"

James sat back for a moment pretending to think. "No, Lily. No, you may not have a word with me."

"James, please-"

James cut Lily off by turning to his two friends and saying, "I'll see you guys in Transfiguration."

With that, James got up, swung his bag over one shoulder, and left the Great Hall. Lily left a very dumbfounded Sirius and Remus before they could inquire about the exchange.

Once the initial shock had worn off, the two boys grabbed their backpacks and left the Great Hall to find James, passing a very confused and tired looking Peter Pettigrew on their way.

James was found sitting outside of Professor McGonagall's classroom. He was staring at the stone wall opposite him, lost in thought. He didn't even notice his two best friends walk up and stand right in front of him.

"He was like this on the train," Sirius said to Remus, staring down at James. "I couldn't get a straight answer out of him."

"Well, he lost both of his parents a couple of months ago," Remus reasoned. "That was only May…"

"I know," said Sirius, "but this is different. Look at him; he has no idea that we're standing here and talking about him."

Remus bent down and waved his hand in front of James' face. "You're right," he said to Sirius. "Do you know what this reminds me of?"

"When Lily started dating the Bonehead," Sirius stated. Remus nodded. "It's worse though. And it probably does have something to do with his parents as well. He didn't give us a shred of emotion after that first day when he found out. Over the summer he dropped off the face of the Earth. How many times, collectively, did we write to him? We didn't get _one _letter!"

Remus shook James by the shoulder. "James," he said softly. "James?"

James' eyes focused. "Hey, Moony," he said, plastering a smile on his face. "What's up?"

"Are you okay, James?" Remus questioned.

"Never better, Moony!" James exclaimed. "How are you today?"

"I'm, er…I'm alright, James." Remus bit his lip.

"Prongs, what's been going on with you?" Sirius questioned.

"What do you mean, Padfoot?" James asked cheerfully.

Before Sirius could say anything else, more students began showing up and the door to the classroom magically unlocked.

James sat in his seat next to Sirius taking notes on Professor McGonagall's lecture. It was a first, and it truly worried Sirius. Lily sat in the front row, but she wasn't taking any notes at all, which was more deeply disturbing than James _taking _his notes.

_Moony,_

_He's taking notes, she's note taking notes…I'm so confused. And I'm worried. His state of mind has something to do with Lily, and he knows that, but does he even realize that he hasn't said a thing about his parents since the funeral? I think he's bottling it up._

_-Padfoot_

_Just because he hasn't talked to you about his parents doesn't mean he hasn't talked to _anybody_. He still has his sister. For all we know, he's been with his Pamina all summer. For all we know, he's dealt with that in his own way. What we need to find out is what has gone on with Lily that has James acting so strange. Normally James Potter would have jumped at the opportunity to have a nice private chat with Lily Evans. Normally he'd be beyond excited that they would be living in their own private tower. I think there may have been something to this summer that James won't tell us about._

_What do we do?_

_Have a chat with James after class. I'm going to try a different approach._

Class finally ended after what seemed to Sirius like three weeks. When McGonagall dismissed them, Remus left his two friends while Sirius convinced James to show him his new quarters.

Our sandy-haired friend made his way to the front of the room. "Lily, a word?"

Lily nodded and followed Remus out into the halls. He led her to a deserted part of the castle a long ways away from the Transfiguration room. "Lily, sorry for the detour," Remus said, "but I really need to ask you something."

Lily looked concerned. "What's wrong?"

Remus sighed. "James isn't himself," he said. "First our letters went unanswered all summer and now he barely speaks to us."

"James didn't get any post from you this summer," said Lily.

Remus raised and eyebrow and cocked his head. "How would you know?"

"James didn't tell you?" Lily said, surprised.

"Notice how I said that he's _barely speaking to us_," Remus reiterated.

Lily blushed. "Right…yeah, I was staying with him at his flat for the summer holidays."

Remus' eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hair. "What were you doing staying at James' flat?"

"We uh…he was helping me out. I needed somewhere to stay."

"Don't you live with the bo-with Michael?"

Lily bit her bottom lip. "Yes, but we were having some…problems over the summer. James helped me through it and gave me a place to stay."

"…but now you and Michael have gotten back together," Remus said, realization shining through. "He has feelings for you and the fact that you and Michael weren't together was giving him hope. Now that you've patched things up, he's hurt."

"Something like that," said Lily.

Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth from his heels to the balls of his feet. "I don't know what to do with him," said Remus. "I don't know what to do _for _him…not since his parents were killed. I try to help and understand, but James isn't one who is exactly forthcoming with his emotions. Sirius doesn't understand that, but I try to."

Lily smiled warmly. "You're a good man to have around, aren't you, Remus?"

"Thank you."

---

The evening found Remus and Sirius in Gryffindor Tower trying to piece together their friend's weird behavior, while their weirdly behaving friend could be found in his common room. James was staring out of the window. It was unlike Gryffindor's amazing view of the grounds because Gryffindor Tower was higher up, but it would have to do.

James looked like he was deep in thought, but in truth, not a single thought had passed through his mind over an hour. Lily was in an armchair by the fire trying to read a novel, but kept interrupting herself by glancing over at James. She had come in after him, but she knew that he hadn't noticed.

She saw what Remus meant. He wasn't himself. But should she approach him?

Finally, Lily had had enough. She had been sitting there trying to focus on her book for too long, lying to herself. If she had truly wanted to read, she could have moved into her bedroom. She wanted him to notice her presence and talk to her like he had done over the summer holidays.

"James?" Lily said, closing her book. He didn't even blink at the sound of her voice.

Lily stood and placed the book on the arm of the chair. She walked over and took a seat next to James. "James, can you look at me, please?" No response. Lily placed a hand on his knee. "Please, James?"

James slowly turned his head. "Lily," he said monotonously.

Lily sighed. "How was your first week back?" she asked lightly.

"Alright." His tone was unwavering.

"Mine too," Lily answered to the unasked question. "So, Remus and I spoke earlier," she pressed on.

"Is that so?"

Lily nodded. "He's worried about you. So is Sirius."

"I know," said James. "I should have written to them over the summer…but they could have written me, you know."

"I know," said Lily, deciding that it was best, for now, to just agree with whatever James said. "Have you talked to them at all this week about…about anything?"

"If you're worried about your little secret-"

"That isn't what I meant," Lily said, cutting James off.

"I don't need to talk to them about anything," James said. He looked back to the window. "They abandoned me over the summer."

"Actually, they didn't," Lily said tentatively.

"What do you mean?"

"Remus said that they wrote to you many times," Lily explained. "Sirius thinks your mail may have been intercepted or something."

"You've been talking to Sirius, too?"

"In passing, yes," said Lily. "I mean…I'm worried about you as well."

"Why?"

"Because I got to know you a lot better than I ever knew you before I started dating Michael," Lily said. "Because I came to care about you, James. I care about you."

"You can't care about me, Lily," said James flatly.

"I _do_ care, James."

"No, Lily," James said, standing and looking her straight in the eye, his voice filled with passion. "You _can't_ care about me because you don't care about _yourself_."

With that James stormed into his room and slammed the door.

Lily drew her knees up to her chest and sighed. With her left hand she lifted her shirt a bit in the back. A large bruise could be seen. _Maybe he's right…_


	5. Chapter Four

A/N: I used a line from one of Brand New's songs in this chapter. Extra points for you if you can spot it.

**Chapter Four**

The first two weeks of the school year had moved along nicely for most. It wasn't too hard to get back into the swing of things for the older students. Lily, blaming it mostly on her workload, had been trying her best to avoid Michael. She could be seen studying in the back of the library or speaking in hushed tones with Remus Lupin. It was driving Michael insane.

A Charms lesson in the middle of their third week back in Hogwarts found Lily and Remus working together on a small project. Sirius had the unlucky pairing of himself and Michael, while James was no where to be found.

"So he wasn't in your common room this morning?" Remus questioned in a whisper.

Lily shook her head. "I haven't seen him since last night at dinner. I thought he may have been in Gryffindor with you."

Remus bit his lip.

"Lets finish this up," said Lily. "We're almost done. We'll have almost forty-five minutes to look for him before lunch and Potions."

Remus nodded, picking his quill up once more.

Professor Flitwick was impressed at Lily and Remus' completion of the assignment and let them go early as Lily had expected. "Where would he be?" Lily asked Remus as he closed the classroom door behind him.

"Your guess is as good as mine," said Remus, concern written all over his face. "I haven't had a full conversation with James since last year. I don't understand it."

They began to walk toward the Entrance Hall. "He felt that you and Sirius abandoned him," Lily explained, suddenly remembering.

"He told you that?" Remus was surprised and hurt.

"It was more like he blew up when I tried to ask him what was wrong," said Lily. "I told him that you wrote to him many times."

"I think Sirius needs to retire his owl," Remus countered. "It's not the first time, I should have thought of that. Sirius would never admit it though, he loves that owl."

"Sirius told me he thought the mail is being intercepted by someone."

"Denial. Total denial."

The two exited the castle via the huge front doors and took to the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"I'll go down to Hagrid's hut and ask if he's seen James," Remus said, motioning in the general direction of the cabin. "Can you check down by the lake? We can meet back here once the lunch bell rings." Lily nodded and the two parted ways.

Lily was more than confused by what was happening. In the past three weeks of her life, she had left her boyfriend and been best friends with Potter, gotten back together with her boyfriend and _not _friends with Potter, received another wake up call from said boyfriend, tried and failed to talk with Potter, and somehow it led her to spend all of her free time with Remus Lupin. How did these things happen so quickly, she found herself wondering.

What truly bothered her was that she knew that James was acting so strangely because of her. _If it were only his parents_ she thought to herself, _he'd be speaking to his two best friends._ What bothered Lily even more was that she couldn't evade Michael forever, and she didn't believe that she could break up with him by herself. She had no one to run to this time.

When Lily reached the shore of the lake she found exactly what she had hoped she would find: James Potter laying on his side and staring out over the lake.

Lily slowly approached him. She took a seat right next to his head, but said nothing. After a few minutes of silence, James whispered, "This is natural beauty, Evans."

"What?" She was startled by his voice, not expecting him to start the conversation.

"Look out there," he said. The Giant Squid was gracefully propelling itself, causing ripples on the surface of the lake. "Everything is so peaceful. What concerns do you think the Giant Squid has? Do you think that his parents were murdered? Do you think he's been stabbed in the back?"

"Perhaps not," said Lily softly, ignoring the last part of James' little speech. She laid down to look at the sky, her head directly next to James'. "But, James, there's only one Giant Squid in the lake. The Giant Squid probably doesn't have any friends."

"You have me pegged on that one," said James after a moment of thought.

"I know I do."

"I don't know," James went on. "I think I'd still rather be the Squid. The less emotion the better, I've come to believe."

"Emotion does kind of suck, doesn't it?"

"Mmhmm."

"Still, I think that it's better to feel. It makes you human." Silence fell upon them. Lily had no idea where to go from there, so she waited for James to say something. When he didn't, Lily sighed to herself.

"You missed Charms this morning," she tried. James simply nodded. "I want to leave Michael." Another nod. "I need you-"

Without warning, James shot up. "We've been through this before, haven't we?" he said angrily. "I am not your friend. I am just a man who knows how to feel. I am not your friend, I'm not your lover, I'm not your family."

James stood and stomped away, leaving Lily laying on the grass, confused as all hell.

As the castle came into his view, the lunch bell rang. James spotted Remus sitting on the steps and, as he got closer, Remus stood.

"Prongs!" he shouted. "Hey!"

"Did you send her after me?" James demanded, anger written in his expression.

"I was looking for you and Lily was helping me," Remus explained, hands up in defense. "I was down by Hagrid's to see if you'd gone down by him. Why? What happened with Lily?"

"Moony, she loves playing with my mind," James said, beginning to enter the castle. Remus followed, taking a quick look over his shoulder. Lily was walking up the lawn and waved for him to go forward with James.

"What do you mean?"

The Entrance Hall was beginning to fill with students trying to get into lunch. "She's crazy," James muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," James said quickly. "Lily Evans is driving me up the wall!"

"Do you fancy her again, James?" Remus questioned.

"Not 'again,' Remus, still."

James and Remus took seats opposite Sirius and his latest love interest.

"Hello, Abby," Remus said politely. She smiled.

"What have you two been up to?" she questioned.

"Nothing interesting." James began to pick out his lunch. "Would you all like to take a trip into Hogsmeade tonight?" Sirius threw a surprised look at Remus. "I could really go for a good old fashioned Three Broomsticks butterbeer."

"Sure!" Sirius said, beaming. His friend was coming back.

"I'd love to and all, but we can't sneak off the grounds without being caught," said Abby.

Sirius put his arm around her, chuckling. "Don't you worry, beautiful. We have our ways."

James met Abby outside of the library about an hour after dinner had ended and together they headed toward Gryffindor Tower to meet Sirius and Remus. Once the Fat Lady had made it abundantly clear that she missed James very much, the small group headed toward the witch. Before they knew it, they were sitting in the Three Broomsticks sipping butterbeer.

"Listen, listen!" James said, standing up. He raised his glass. "I just wanted to apologize to my two best friends: Guys, I am so sorry for being so distant lately. You are the best friends a chump like myself could ever ask for. Thank you for standing by me."

Sirius and Remus both smiled ear to ear and clinked glasses with James and each other.

For a while, the four seventh year students just sat in the pub, telling stories of their past Hogwarts years and sharing their hopes for the year to come. Once the clock struck eleven, they decided to turn in, for they had classes the next day.

James was content with the evening. He felt as if he was getting back into the swing of things. He really didn't know why he was angry with Remus and Sirius in the first place, so why should he bother staying angry? They were his best friends!

Sirius chose to walk Abby back to the Ravenclaw common room, so James walked up to Gryffindor to keep Remus company. With a little bit of manipulative speaking, Remus got James to talk about the summer holidays and his feelings for Lily.

Eventually they all found their beds.


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

The Marauders were back. That was quite clear. After nearly three full weeks of detention free peace, Professor McGonagall had gotten hopeful. Her false hope was gone now, however, because Severus Snape had eaten something that had been mailed to him and had been floating near the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall since breakfast.

The good professor now had James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin scrubbing her classroom with toothbrushes as she graded papers, but she knew that they didn't care. Physical labor had never bothered them much, but that was the only punishment besides deduction of house points that she could give the boys. Besides, some of their practical jokes gave her a good laugh.

"I can't believe that we only had to do one room," Remus was saying to his two friends as they crossed the Entrance Hall.

"I know," said Sirius. He pointed through the doors of the Great Hall. "He's still up there!"

"McGonagall found it funny," James said knowingly. "Flitwick thinks we're geniuses."

The boys parted ways, Remus and Sirius heading to Gryffindor Tower while James returned to his own dormitory to clean himself up. A nice long shower was just what he needed after a long day and evening.

Taking a towel and bath items from his bedroom, James went into the Heads' bathroom. Lily was brushing her teeth at one of the two sinks. "Hello, James," she said cheerfully, mouth full of toothpaste. He ignored her. "James?" The shower water turned on. "James, come on." He drew the curtain, blocking Lily from his sight.

Lily let out a frustrated sigh. "James Potter, stop acting like a little baby!"

"Lily Evans, stop bothering me!" James shouted.

"James Potter, stop ignoring me!"

"Lily Evans, start respecting yourself!"

"James Potter, mind your own business!"

"Lily Evans, don't _make _it my business!"

"James Potter…URGH!" Lily collected her things and stormed out of the bathroom.

_Way to be, Potter. Just make her hate you…THAT will DEFINITELY make things better for you…jerk._

---

"Congratulations, we have made it to October!" Professor Dumbledore clapped his hands. "Now, is it just me, or is Hogwarts seeming a bit sluggish lately, hmm?" The two Head Students nodded. "Yes…yes, this war is taking its toll, isn't it? Come up with something, won't you?"

"Sir?"

"Dream up something fun…and happy…and crazy." Dumbledore was beaming. "I do love a good time. Oh, and try to keep it secret from other students. Lets surprise them! I do love surprises."

"You've got it, sir," said James.

"Good…good. You're dismissed and we'll meet next week."

"Good night, Headmaster."

James and Lily walked briskly down the halls to their common room. "What do you think we should do?" Lily finally questioned. "I was thinking a dance…"

"You mentioned over the summer that you wanted to fight to get the Christmas Formal back," James said evenly. He was trying to keep from starting another shouting match by ignoring her. "If you waste this chance on a dance, you won't have a great case to argue in favor of a Christmas Formal. They'll argue that we've already had a dance, so we don't need the Formal."

Lily nodded slowly. "That's a really good point," she admitted. "Papageno."

As they climbed down into the common room, Lily asked, "Do you have any other ideas?"

"I might," James said mysteriously. He plopped onto the sofa and put his feet on the table. "Halloween Carnival," he said.

Lily walked over and pushed James' feet off of the table as she sat next to him. "Go on…"

"Think about it," said James. "We could have games, rides, raffles to raise money for a special Christmas surprise, hint hint… Dumbledore would eat it up and you, Miss Evans, would get your Christmas Formal."

Lily, once again, caught herself nodding slowly. "I like it," she said. "I like it a lot."

"Thank you."

"What's our budget?" Lily questioned.

James shuffled through the parchments that Lily had placed on the table. "We have two thousand galleons for the year."

"Okay, so lets say we take a gamble," Lily said, standing. She began to pace back and forth. "We spend the budget on the Halloween Carnival and on prizes and rides…"

"We don't have to spend the _entire_ budget, Lily," James said. "We'll buy what we need and the Elves can take care of the food. We'll get people for the rides we need and other than that, we can do some of the rides ourselves. It'll be just like a muggle carnival."

Lily stopped pacing and smiled at James. "I love it!"

"We can go into Hogsmeade this weekend to start our shopping."

"It's a date." Lily sighed happily. "I'm going to turn in. Goodnight."

Lily walked toward her bedroom, still smiling to herself. James sat staring into the fire. At the last moment, and he had no idea what made him do it, he turned, hanging over the side of the couch and said, "Speaking of dates, how is that going?"

Lily froze, her hand an inch from the doorknob. Was he seriously asking her this? Was he being friendly-James? Was jerk-James going to come back if she answered him truthfully? She turned to face him.

"I'm sorry for my behavior for the past month," James said, hoping to prompt an answer.

Lily nodded, walking back toward the fire. "Honestly?"

"I would hope you would be honest with me," said James, looking concerned.

Lily sat on the arm of the sofa, her back to James. He didn't even need to ask her why she was sitting that way. He lifted her shirt and promptly said, "Let me kill him."

"James-"

"I _will _kill him."

"I'm scared to leave him…of what he'll do…"

"He won't do anything if he's been killed."

"James-"

"Lily."

"James, I'm asking for your _non_violent help right now."

James sat back and Lily turned herself around. "For good this time?"

"For good."

"What is it that I can do for you, Lily Evans?"


	7. Chapter Six

Happy Halloween, kids.

**Chapter Six**

"You've been avoiding me."

Lily took a deep breath. "I can't be with you anymore, Michael," she said slowly.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm breaking up with you. You aren't a good person. You aren't a good boyfriend…you aren't a good _anything!_ You hurt me. What kid of a boyfriend does that? I can't let you do that to me anymore!"

"How dare you! Bitch!" Michael raised his fist and before he knew it was on his back via a spell.

James pulled off his invisibility cloak and, wand in one hand, strolled over to Michael. "This scene is becoming all too familiar, is it not?" he said lightly. "I rather enjoy it." Michael made to get up, but James held him down with his foot. "Wouldn't do that if I were you," he said. "See, I haven't been feeling well as of late, and I may just snap at any moment. So I think it would be in your best interests, Bonehead, if you did _not _move and you apologized to Lily…right now."

Deciding it was time to cut his losses, Michael stopped glaring at James and looked at Lily. "Sorry," he muttered. James put more weight on Michael. "SORRY!" he shouted.

"Better…but still not good enough." James pointed his wand at Michael and the next thing any of them knew Michael was stuck to the ceiling. Chuckling, James said to him, "Don't worry, Michael! You'll come down in a day or so, provided that something didn't get lost in translation when we charmed Snape's food. If that's the case, you'll probably never come down…I would _not _want to be you right now."

With that, James put his hand on Lily's shoulder and together they left the dormitory.

"Is he really not going to come down?" Lily questioned quietly as she and James walked back to their dormitory.

"Does it really matter?" James countered. After a moment he chuckled to himself. "I honestly don't know if he'll come down. Snape was on the ceiling from breakfast well into the night. I'm not entirely sure if that charm is more powerful now seeing as I didn't put it on food, you know?"

Shaking her head, Lily said, "James, you probably shouldn't have done that much."

James shrugged. "Why the hell not? He deserves every second of discomfort I can afford to give him."

Lily stopped walking, standing directly in front of James. "Thank you, James," she said sincerely. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

---

Saturday afternoon found Lily and James in the village of Hogsmeade. After breakfast they had started on their journey. The pair shopped for the Hogwarts Halloween Carnival, ate a nice lunch which James paid for, sat for a round of butterbeer which Lily had paid for, and all around enjoyed each others company.

It was nearly five thirty when James and Lily descended into their common room. James strolled over to the far corner and placed many small items onto the floor. With a swish of the wand they were back to their original size.

"That was a fun day," Lily said with a fabulous smile. James nodded. "Would you like to start the menu tonight?"

"No actually," James said apologetically. "Sorry, but I have a…I have a previous engagement with Remus and Sirius and Peter Pettigrew."

"Okay," Lily said. "Tomorrow afternoon then. I should probably go visit with my dear ex-roommates anyway. What do you boys plan on doing?"

James sighed, running a hand through his already on end hair making it worse. He thought quickly and decided that humor was the way to go. "Well," he said, "We're going to sit up in the Astronomy Tower and we're going to bring yogurt and popcorn and pudding and all sorts of goodies. _Siri_ is bringing the nail polish and _Remy_ is bringing the hair curlers while _Petey_ gathers some fashion magazines. I'm going down to get the snacks shortly after dinner."

"You know," Lily said, walking toward her room, "you could have just said you wanted to join the girls and me tonight in the Gryffindor girls' dorms."

---

It was pitch black. Out on the grounds, unbeknownst to everybody inside of the castle, a small rat scurried up to the wildest tree. In an instant the Whomping Willow froze. Out of nowhere, it seemed, a beautiful stag and a large shaggy dog appeared. Then, as suddenly as they had appeared, they were gone.

Inside of the castle, Lily Evans was walking back to her room. Those who she believed to be her friends apparently were not as friendly as James Potter, nor were they as patient. It seems that in dating Michael, she had lost a lot more than just self respect. She had lost her best friends. However, maybe they weren't such good friends if they were giving up on her that easily.

_No, Lily,_ said her mind. _It isn't those girls who are bad friends. It's you. You let Michael interfere with your friendships. You can't expect everyone to be as forgiving as James is. You didn't even expect JAMES to be as forgiving as he is._ "Papageno."

Lily locked herself in her room, changed into her pajamas, and was fast asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

---

It was nearly three in the morning. James and Sirius both nearly fell off of the ladder as they attempted to climb down it into the common room. James was limping horribly, one of his pant legs torn halfway off. Sirius had a gash across his left cheek and was bleeding badly from the stomach. His shirt was soaked in crimson.

James dashed to his room as fast as he could on his bad leg. _I can NOT believe that this is the ONE time that I forget my wand…_

Before Sirius knew it, his friend was at his side. Having fixed his own leg, he began working on Sirius. The spells he had to use were much more complicated than the ones that he used to heal Lily, but he was able to manage. When Sirius, Peter and himself had first become animagi they all learned a bit of healing magic, knowing how dangerous everything they were getting themselves into was.

"I can't believe Peter just ran away like that," Sirius said angrily, still trying to catch his breath from all of the twisted excitement.

"Come on, Padfoot," James said, cleaning the blood from the floor magically. "There was nothing he could have done but run. He's the smallest of us all. If I would have landed the wrong way I could have crushed him."

"Yeah…still, though…"

"Listen, it's nearly three," said James. "We were too close to getting caught on our way here, so why don't you take the sofa?" Sirius nodded. "We'll find Peter in the morning after you've cooled off a bit."

"G'night," Sirius muttered.

James returned to his room, tossing out an extra blanket for his best friend. With the night's events behind them, both boys ended up in a restless sleep.

Lily awoke around ten in the morning on Sunday. She stretched like a kitten and attempted to find her slippers which were a little ways under the bed. Once that was all squared away, she took a towel off of the rack and left her bedroom, ready for a shower.

James was still asleep, though his mind was still somehow racing. The sleep was light and unsatisfactory, so it didn't take much to shake him out of it. What did it was a high pitched scream from the common room.

James shot up and, because he was so jumpy, ran out into the room in only his boxers and a pair of socks. "What happened?!" he shouted, wand in hand and glasses askew.

"That's what I'd like to know," Sirius moaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"You're all bloody!" Lily said. She had backed against the wall and was breathing heavily.

Sirius looked down at his shirt and grimaced. "Prongs, can I-"

"Go ahead," James said, knowing that he wanted to borrow clothes so that he could get back to Gryffindor, no questions asked.

Once he had left the two head students alone, James said, "You probably want to know what that's about…"

"Gee, do you _think_?!" Lily shouted.

"We weren't actually painting our toenails last night," James said. Lily looked as if she were about to explode. "We were out on the grounds," he said quickly. "I can't really tell you more than that right now-"

"Fine!" Lily said, throwing her hands in the air. She bent down and picked up her towel. "I'll trust you with my life, but you can't even tell me what you did last night? I'm going in the shower."

"Lily," James said. The bathroom door slammed in his face. "Lily!" he shouted. "It's not my secret to tell, Lily!"

The door swung open and James stood toe to toe with a very angry redhead. Though he was six foot one and she was only five foot five, he was scared to death of her. "Who's is it then?" she asked in a deadly whisper.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

"Papageno…Papageno…_PAPAGENO!!_"

"Padfoot, why are you yelling at my knight?" James questioned, turning the corner and chuckling at his insane friend.

"It won't let me in!"

"I told you last night that we changed the password," James explained, still chuckling. "It's Pumpkin Spice." The knight began to open the trapdoor.

"Forget it, knighty," Sirius said, walking away and grabbing James by the arm, pulling him the same way that he'd come from. "We've got business to attend to." The knight stopped and stood on the door yet again.

"Where the hell are we going, Padfoot?" James asked in a disgruntled voice. He ripped his arm from Sirius' grip and followed at his own will.

"Remus," said Sirius.

"He's back?" Sirius nodded. "He's feeling guilty." Sirius nodded again.

It took both boys to knock down the door to the seventh year boys' dormitory that Remus had put a spell on. Sirius repaired the door magically as James brushed the splinters off of his robes.

"What the hell spell was that?" James questioned. "Alohamora wouldn't work."

"I don't have to share all of my secrets, do I?" Remus asked dully.

"No, I suppose you don't." James said down on his old bed which was directly next to Remus'. "How are you feeling?"

Remus sat up. "You are never coming with me again," he said flatly, ignoring James' question.

"Come on, Moony," Sirius scoffed, "you can't be-"

"_NO!_" Remus shouted, jumping to his feet. "No, Sirius. I could have _killed_ you guys Saturday night. My best friends, dead…because of what I am. You could have _died_. Do you even begin to comprehend that?"

"It's our decision to take that risk, Re-"

"No, James, it really isn't," Remus cut him off. "_I _almost _killed you_. I'm not going to have you guys die by my fangs just because you want to _fucking_ help me!"

James and Sirius sat stunned. They had never heard Remus swear before…ever.

"Thank you for trying, guys," Remus went on after forced himself to calm down a bit. "Thank you for trying, but I never should have let you do it in the first place. It's stupid and dangerous and-"

"And it's our choice to put ourselves there," said James, not letting Remus interrupt him this time. "It was handled, was it not?"

"That's not the point, James," Remus said with a heavy sigh. "Next time could be-"

"_If_ there's a next time, we will handle that as well," Sirius cut him off. "Now stop feeling guilty."

"But-"

"No buts at all," said James. "You're our best friend, Remus Lupin, and you can't make us stop wanting to help you…and you know what happens when me and Sirius want to do something."

Remus offered them a weak smile. He took a seat on his bed once again and ran his hands through his hair.

"Come on, Moony," Sirius said, "chin up. It's no big deal to us, so it shouldn't be a big deal to you."

"We love you, man!" James said, being cheesy on purpose. He and Sirius dove onto Remus in a huge tangle of a hug.

Sirius had to leave shortly after to serve a detention with Professor Sprout of the Herbology department. He had gotten angry with Lucius Malfoy and set his books on fire.

Once he had gone, James turned serious for a moment. "Remus, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Would you be terribly angry if I told Lily about your…condition?" James asked quietly.

"Why?" Remus asked, brow furrowed. James explained the events of Sunday morning to his friend.

---

"Lily, a word?"

"This is becoming all too familiar, Mr. Lupin," Lily said over the noise of the bell. "I have a meeting in the library for a Defense Against The Dark Arts group project, if you'd like to walk me there."

"Perfect," Remus said.

James watched the pair walk out of the Potions dungeon and sighed. He was very lucky to have Remus as a friend. Remus had decided that if Lily was going to find out that he was a werewolf, she would find out through him.

"So what's up, Remus?" Lily inquired as the walked toward the library. Remus checked to make sure that nobody was in earshot before he stopped walking.

"Lily, what I'm about to tell you is very private and I need you to not say anything to any other person here," Remus began. "The only students who know about it are James, Sirius and Peter." Lily nodded.

"You can trust me, Remus," she said.

Nodding, Remus said, "You're angry with James because he wouldn't tell you what happened to him and Sirius on Saturday night. Well…I did that to them."

"What do you mean you-"

"Lily, I'm a werewolf," Remus said as quickly as he could. To his surprise, she showed no surprise.

"Yes, I know," she said.

This caught him off guard and he took half a step back. "What…how…"

"Come on, Remus! You know I'm not _that _dumb, don't you?" She laughed. "I've known since second year."

"Oh…okay."

"Wait a moment," Lily said after thinking for a second. "_You_ hurt _them_?" Remus nodded. "How is it-"

"James, Sirius and Peter became animagi a couple years back so that they could come to me when I was transformed and keep me company. They did it so that I would no longer hurt myself during the full moon."

"_They're illegal animagi?!_" Lily said in a hushed whisper. "Th…I…wh…NO! That is bad! That is very, _very_ bad!"

"I know, I know," Remus said. "They did it for me, to help me."

"There are just…_so _many things wrong with this. You know that, right?" Remus nodded. "If they get-"

"No one will find out, Lily…right?" Lily bit her lip. "_Right?_"

"Fine," Lily said forcibly.

"Thank you," he said. He decided not to tell her about the part where they were on the grounds and he had caught a whiff of a human which is why he went insane. James and Sirius, in their animagi forms of course, had to stop him.

"Thank you for trusting me with this, Remus," Lily said, snapping him out of his thought process. She gave him a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry."

"Will you stop being angry with James now?" Remus asked. "He's been mad over it."

"Yes…yes, I suppose I will."


	9. Chapter Eight

_Thank you to those of you who have reviewed._

**Chapter Eight**

James stood in the Astronomy Tower. He was alone. He liked to be alone up there. He liked to be alone to think up there. These days, however, he barely ever visited the tallest tower in Hogwarts. He didn't know what he wanted to think about, nor did he let himself think about some things. He was confused.

Truth be told, James Potter hadn't given much of a thought to his parents in quite some time. It's not that he didn't love them, he truly did. Thinking of them hurt too much, and thinking of them meant that he had to think of what he had gone through that night that he found out. Thinking of them meant that he had to think of his sister and how she had to miss the funeral because she was in St. Mungo's Hospital with injuries so bad that she nearly died. A Death Eater had left her, believing that the Cruciatus Curse had actually taken the life of the beautiful young woman.

James closed his eyes as tightly as they would go as the feelings of nearly six months ago flooded into him once again. It was too painful for him to take anymore and he fell onto his knees crying.

Lily was standing in the doorway, watching James from behind. He seemed to be deep in thought and she didn't want to disturb him. Just as she was about to turn back, James fell to his knees and Lily heard the unmistakable sound of sobbing. Before she could stop herself she rushed over to him, dropping to her knees beside him.

It was too late for her when she realized that James might be angry with her for this, she had already rushed halfway across the room when the thought entered her mind. Much to her surprise, though, James wasn't angry, at least not at that moment. When she made it to the ground, his arms shot around her and he held onto her as if his life depended on it.

Lily's arms automatically wrapped around James' body and she held him as he cried into her chest. She began to rock him back and forth, whispering into his ear all the while. Her attempts to sooth him proved futile, and so she continued to rock the boy back and forth in her arms.

Lily noticed later that night after James had gone to bed that they hadn't shared any words at all. And then she thought to herself that no words needed to be shared. She knew what it was about and he knew that she knew. She also knew that it was a good thing that she had been there because nobody should ever have to cry like that when they're alone.

The next morning, James awoke in his bed, though he didn't remember much about how he'd gotten there. As he got himself ready for the shower, the events of the previous evening flooded his mind. His heart ached for the loss of his parents while his mind reminded him of the enormous wet spot he had left on Lily.

_I need to do something nice for her,_ James thought as he exited his room. _This is so much more than just a dinner or something…I'll think of something._

Lily had already showered and left for the morning. _Probably out for a stroll before breakfast, _James thought as he turned the shower water on remembering her old habits.

When he entered the Great Hall twenty minutes later, James saw Lily sitting with Remus and Abby. Sirius and Peter had yet to show themselves that morning. James took a seat next to Abby and directly opposite Lily, saying, "Morning, all."

"Morning," said Remus and Abby in two very sleepy tones.

"Good morning, James?" Lily said. It was a question. She was asking him how he was feeling in comparison to the previous night.

He nodded. "Better morning, thank you." She smiled.

"Post's coming," Remus murmured, looking toward the rush of owls. One of them dropped his morning newspaper onto his plate of bacon and eggs. Another landed in front of Abby, holding a leg out.

As Remus was looking over the front page, his eyes were growing wider. His eyes shifted from the front page to giving Abby a look of horror. She didn't notice this, however, because she was reading a life-altering letter at that moment.

James noticed the look in his friend's eyes and said softly as he shook his head, "No…no, please no."

Abby was frozen. She didn't move or say a word. It seemed as though she wasn't even breathing. Lily snatched the paper from Remus' hands and scanned the front page. In the bottom right hand corner was a small portion of an article contained inside the paper. The headline read: "Cook Family Murdered; A Daughter Left At Hogwarts"

When Lily looked up Abby was gone and Remus was looking beyond worried for her. "I should go wake Sirius," he said, all traces of sleep gone from his tone now. James nodded. "Where do you think I should tell him to look?"

James gave Remus a look and said, "_Moony_, come on. You know he knows where she'll be."

Understanding flooded Remus' features. "Right," he said. How could he forget about the map?

Once Remus had gone, Lily spoke up. "I know this may not be the best time to bring this up now," she began quietly, "but I just wanted to let you know that Remus told me of your little secrets that have to do with his…not so little secret."

James' eyes widened. "He told you we're-"

"Yes," said Lily, whispering. "You don't have to worry, I won't turn you in. However, I think it's really dumb that you did that. You're reasons were wonderful, but that was dangerous."

James shrugged. "He's worth the risk," he said simply. "He's our best friend."

Lily nodded. "Will you show me?"

"What? My…_alternate_ self?" She nodded again. Biting his lip, James thought for a moment. "Alright." The bell rang, signaling that they had five minutes before their first lesson. "It'll have to wait, though, obviously." Both stood and exited the Great Hall in silence.

---

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"She's not on the map."

"I can see that, Remus, thank you."

"Hey, don't get angry with me, Sirius."

"Where is she?"

"Do you think she's gone into Hogsmeade? You know, just to get away from everyone?"

"I don't know…I don't think she would…then again, you never really know, do you? James never took to fire whiskey until his parents were killed."

"Go to Hogsmeade and look for her. I'll keep the map with me and I'll cover for you in class if anyone asks where you've gone."

"Thanks, mate."

---

"Pumpkin Spice."

Lily dropped her book bag down the trap door and followed it using the ladder. She had been in the library putting the finishing touches on a Potions essay that James had somehow completed a whole day and a half earlier than her. It boggled her mind.

As she reached the bottom floor, Lily had the life nearly startled out of her. A stag was standing uncomfortably close to her. She backed against the wall, not exactly sure what to do. Her breathing became panicky as the creature closed in on her slowly. She closed her eyes and the next thing she knew, the creature was rubbing its nose on her shoulder.

Opening one eye just a crack, she saw the creature morph into James Potter. "You said you wanted to see," he said with a goofy grin.

"You are a jerk!" Lily shouted, smacking him on the arm. "I nearly wet myself!"

James laughed lightly. "Calm yourself, Lily," he said. "Where have you been?"

"Library," she said, choosing to leave out the part where he had actually finished the assignment before she had.

"Ah," said James. "Well, I took the liberty of booking the people we need for the carnival rides."

"You did?" Lily said, surprised. She hadn't expected him to actually work on anything but the menu. James nodded. "Good work," she said. "What do we have left?"

"Lets see…the menu, some games…not much."

"Lets get to work."

---

Sirius was holding the sleeping figure in his arms like both of their lives were dependant on his never letting go. He kissed the top of her head before closing his eyes again. Was this what it felt like to love someone, he wondered. He felt an overwhelming need to take care of this girl, to make her happy. He had never felt this way about a girl before.

_You didn't even know you felt this way about _this_ girl until today, you big oaf,_ Sirius said to himself silently. It was true, he had thought that Abby was just another fling that he would be done with after a month or two of fooling around. No, Abby was different. He could tell right then and there that Abby Cook wasn't like any other girl he had ever dated. He truly cared for her. He wanted to make her happy, safe…he wanted to love her.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

_He ran._

_He ran hard. He ran fast…_

_He ran._

_His life depended on exactly how fast he could run. He was running, after all, from evil. He looked over his shoulder to see if he had outrun them, a crucial mistake. He tripped over a root and was on the ground before he knew what had hit him._

_"CRUCIO!"_

James awoke in a cold sweat. This had been a reoccurring dream of his. He dreamt that he was being chased through the forbidden forest by masked Death Eaters. He lost his ability to transform into his stag form, and so he would run. And he never learned…he always looked over his shoulder…he always tripped…and he always was hit with an Unforgivable Curse.

James took his glasses from his bedside table and shoved them onto his face. As the room swam into clarity, James stood and began to walk the dream off. He paced back and forth for a little while, trying to calm himself down. He always got very upset when he dreamt this dream.

James threw himself back onto his bed with a frustrated sigh as he realized that he probably wasn't going to get anymore sleep that night. Looking down at his watch he discovered that it was only two thirty in the morning.

Sighing yet again, James pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He made his was out to the common room.

The fire was nearly dead, the crackling minimal. James pointed his wand at it and in an instant it was roaring once again. He took one of the armchairs by the sides and dragged it as close to the fire as was necessary for him to keep warm.

"Merlin curse these nightmares," he muttered, wrapping himself in his spare blanket. Staring into the dancing flames, James let his mind wandered wherever it wanted to go. Unfortunately, it chose the category of family life.

"Why?" he said to the empty room and the flames of the common room fire. "Why did they have to be killed? I loved them. I loved them so much…" James' voice died in his throat as he choked back the tears.

He didn't want to feel these feelings. He didn't want to think these thoughts. Without even thinking James shot up and headed to his trunk. He pulled out a bottle of fire whiskey and returned to his seat in front of the warm, inviting fire.

"Here's to you, Mum and Dad," he said, raising the bottle to the ceiling before taking a swig.

The slight burning sensation that lingered in James' mouth, throat and stomach was so inviting to him. He took another swig…and another…and another. James drank until he passed out in front of the fire…all alone.

Lily awoke to the sound of rain pounding against the castle. It was chilly, so she didn't move at all once she had regained her consciousness. It was grey out on the grounds…grey and wet.

Lily contemplated just not moving for the rest of the day. She was so warm and comfortable there in her bed with her thick comforter and soft pajamas. She knew that she would have to get up eventually, so after twenty minutes or so she willed herself out of the bed and into the cold reality of the world outside of her bedroom.

When she walked into the common room, she saw James asleep on the armchair, his blanket around his ankles. With a small smile, she tiptoed over to tuck him in. After she had made sure the blanket wouldn't fall again, she turned to head for the showers. With her first step she kicked an empty Ogden's bottle.

Picking it up, Lily examined it. Shaking her head she muttered, "No, James…no…"

---

"Abby comes back today," Sirius was saying as Lily joined him, Remus and Peter at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. "I hope she's alright…well, as alright as one can be anyway."

Peter nodded as Remus said, "So do I."

"Morning, boys," Lily said to them all.

"Morning, Lily," all three said in unison, then Peter added, "How are you?"

"Alright, I suppose, Peter," Lily answered, picking her breakfast.

Smiling, Peter excused himself, leaving Lily to Remus and Sirius. "Guys," she said, "I think James has a problem."

Sirius scoffed. "Prongs has got a load of problems, Lily dearest."

"I'm not joking," Lily said. "I think he drank himself to sleep last night."

"Ogden's Old Fire Whiskey?" Remus said. Lily nodded. "It's his way of dealing with his family."

"That doesn't make it okay, Remus!" Lily scolded, shaking a fork with a sausage link on it at him.

"I'm not saying it does!" Remus said in defense of himself. "I was merely letting you know _why _he would be doing such a thing. Put down the fork!"

"Jamie boy took to the bottle shortly after his parents died," Sirius explained to Lily. "It's a wonder he scraped good marks on exams last year, I'll tell you that much. We had him going through a detox. I'm surprised it went so unnoticed."

"Nearly drank himself to death, he did," Remus added. "He just didn't know when to stop. As soon as we got him off the bottle he shut down emotionally…_completely_. At least we knew that he was feeling _something_ when he hit the Ogden's. Now it's anybody's guess as to James' emotional state."

"Are you suggesting that we do nothing about this?" Lily asked, unable to believe what she was hearing.

"Not at the moment, Lily, no," said Remus. "If it happens again then by all means, do what you will, and I'll help."

"Moony's right," Sirius said, mouth full of scrambled eggs. He swallowed. "It may be a one time thing, Lils. Give the boy a chance to let go for a moment. _If_ it gets to the point where he's on his way to becoming a danger to himself again, we'll step in. Thing is, we can't help him unless he wants us to. He's got to come to us."

Lily nodded, still feeling very uneasy on the inside.

---

James awoke with the most horrible kink in his neck. He cracked it as best he could and stood, stretching. There was no sunlight shining through the window this rainy Saturday morning, but even the gray clouds gave off too much light for James to deal with.

The Head Boy stumbled toward his room to get a hangover potion out of his trunk, but the bathroom was closer.

When Lily entered the common room she heard the sounds of James' hangover speaking to him coming from the bathroom. She stuck her head in to see James slouched over the toilet, vomiting more than anyone she'd ever seen.

"James?"

He looked up at her briefly before heaving into the toilet once more. "My trunk," he managed to gasp out. "Potion."

Lily walked into his room and began to rummage through his trunk. She found what she was looking for and brought it to him in the bathroom. Within moments of downing the horrible smelling potion, James was one hundred percent again.

"Thank you, Lily," he said, discarding the container.

"James…are you alright?"

"Fine, now."

"No, I mean…are you _alright?_"

James smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes the way it normally did. "I'm fine, Lily."


	11. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

"How long has it been?"

"Twelve days."

"I've started Quidditch for him, but I'm not the captain. If McGonagall finds out she'll be off the wall."

"What do you want from me, Sirius? I can't get in there!" Lily exclaimed.

"This is all your fault, Moony," Sirius said, frowning at Remus. "You taught him the damn locking thingy."

"It's not my fault that he's as powerful as he is," Remus said. "Keep trying to knock it down."

Lily gave the password to the knight and led Sirius and Remus down into the common room. "Stop bickering," she said. "Bickering is not helping the situation."

"Neither is signing his name on the attendance sheet in class," Remus pointed out.

"He won't come out for any of us, he won't come out for the professors," Lily said. "Besides, Lupin, this was all your idea."

"Excuse me?"

"You're the one that said to do nothing when I found the Ogden's bottle," Lily said, poking Remus in the chest.

"Did you _not _just say that bickering isn't helping the situation?" Sirius pointed out. "We all share an equal amount of blame, now shut up."

Lily tossed her school bag through her bedroom door. "JAMES POTTER!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "JAMES POTTER, IF YOU DO NOT OPEN YOUR BEDROOM DOOR THIS INSTANT I AM GOING TO BURN YOUR GODDAMN DOOR DOWN!" She took out her wand. "Three…"

"Lily?"

"Two…"

"Lily, what are you-"

"One." A burst of flames shot from Lily's wand and the door caught fire instantly.

Remus made to take his wand out, but Sirius stopped him. "For some reason, I think she knows what she's doing," he said, staring at the burning door.

"_I _think she's _lost _it!" Remus exclaimed.

Suddenly the flames vanished and the door creaked open magically. James exited the bedroom. Lily lowered her wand as she took in his appearance. "The scruffy beard look isn't really you, James," she said quietly.

His eyes were bloodshot. His hair was standing on end. His clothes were visibly dirty. In his left hand was a bottle of Ogden's and in his right his wand. "What?" he croaked.

James' three friends stood, mouths agape. "What?" he repeated, voice cracking.

"James," Lily gasped. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" James was visibly irritated at this interruption. "What? Do you want me to share?" He thrust the bottle forward. Lily took it from him and placed it on the floor next to her. "Why you staring?"

"James, how much have you had to drink?" Remus finally inquired.

"Just that," James slurred, pointing down at the bottle next to Lily's feet.

"How much have you had to drink since last week?" Sirius asked.

James shrugged. Lily moved passed James to try to get into his room, but he grabbed her by the shoulders and forcibly turned her to face him. He kissed her.

Lily batted James away. "JAMES!" she shouted. "STOP IT!" Sirius and Remus rushed over. Sirius pulled James away from Lily and brought him over to the couch while Remus brought Lily into her room.

Lily had tears welling up in her eyes. "What…what is…"

"I don't know, Lily," Remus said.

"It's like he's dropped off the face of the earth," she said, looking through her door at Sirius and James. "How did that happen so suddenly?"

"It wasn't sudden; it's never sudden." Remus sighed. "We just didn't see it."

"How? I live with him, Remus! I live with him and I work with him and I let him cry on my shoulder and I didn't see this coming? How did that happen? How am-"

"Lily, breathe," Remus said. She was getting shaky. "We obviously didn't handle this situation very well," he continued. "Everyone makes mistakes. We are no different. And now we will help him."

Meanwhile James was babbling to Sirius about how much he loved Lily Evans. Sirius was trying to calm him down a bit so that they could talk but his attempts were useless.

"She's so pretty," James was saying. "I love her, Sirius. I want to marry Lily!"

"Yeah, well, she isn't going to want to marry you after the crap that you've been pulling, buddy," Sirius said, sitting next to James on the couch. "What are you doing drinking at four o'clock in the afternoon?"

"I'm in love with Lily."

Sirius sighed. "I know, mate. Come on, you smell too bad for even me to take. Shower time."

While James was in the shower, Sirius snuck into the hospital wing using his friend's invisibility cloak. He stole a flask of dreamless sleep potion and got out undetected. Once James had been put to bed, Remus and Sirius joined Lily in her bedroom.

She was laying on her back, hands behind her head, staring at the ceiling. Remus sat on the foot of the bed while Sirius plopped down right next to Lily. She sat up and looked at him, annoyed.

"Sorry," he said.

"I found him in the Astronomy Tower sobbing a bit before I found him passed out drunk in the common room," she said to the two young men. "He wouldn't tell me anything, but we all know why he was that way." They nodded. "Don't tell me again that we all make mistakes," she continued. "_I _could have done something."

"We know what he's like when he shuts it down emotionally, Lil," Sirius said. "Don't blame yourself. James has a problem."

"No, Sirius," said Lily. "James has a _load_ of problems."


	12. Chapter Eleven

_Whoever replied anonymously as "asdf," this is for you. Thanks._

**Chapter Eleven**

James awoke to see the blurry outlining of a certain redhead standing over him. "Up and at 'em, lazy," she said, pulling off his covers. "You need to shower. Breakfast's in twenty minutes then we have Transfiguration and History of Magic."

James groaned. His head was pounding and he felt sick. "Potion?" he grunted.

"Sirius dumped it all," said Lily in an overly cheerful tone. "You want to be stupid then you have to deal with the consequences."

James spent most of the day with his head in his hands while Lily spent most of the day wondering if this was truly the best approach for them to take. Sirius and Remus, however, were going on with business as usual. They knew what needed to be done.

Dinner found James face down in his mashed potatoes, Lily staring at him, worried. Sirius was at the opposite end of the table reassuring the Quidditch Team that their captain would be in action in time for Monday's practice. Remus and Abby were in the library after having ate a fast meal. They were working on their Muggle Studies paper.

When Sirius returned to his seat next to James, he shook him by the shoulders. James looked up at his friend wearily, potatoes on his forehead. "You had better be at the next practice, mate. The team is ready to go to McGonagall."

"When did Quidditch start?"

Sirius sighed, shaking his head. He pushed James by the back of the head back down into his mashed potatoes. "Do me a favor, Lily, and stop me before I kill him."

James was relieved when Sirius finally left the head students in their common room later that evening. Lily was sitting by the fire, parchment spread all around her. James, after changing out of his school robes, walked over and sat on the sofa. "What are you working on?" he asked lightly after a moment.

Lily sat up, rubbing her temples. "Your Halloween Carnival," she said. A pang of guilt hit James. "It needs to be done by tomorrow. It's next Thursday."

"I'm sorry, Lily," James murmured. "I'm really sorry."

"If you're _really_ sorry, you'll take my place right here and I'll go take a bubble bath," Lily said. James stood. "Thank you."

Lily walked away from the pile of work that she had been sitting in front of and James took her place. She had been putting together a menu for the house elves to take care of for the Halloween Carnival.

Lily filled the big tub with warm water and multi-colored bubbles. Discarding her uniform next to the pool like tub, Lily slid into the water and felt relaxation was over her instantly.

Her mind wandered. She thought of her father, who she hadn't seen in a great many years. She thought of her mother, dead thank to cancer. She thought of her older sister with whom she had been so close before her eleven year old self got the first Hogwarts letter. She thought of the friends that she had made when she had gotten to Hogwarts-her old roommates. She thought about the fifth year when Michael had asked her out only two days before James and how if James hadn't waited so long she may not have given up on him. She thought about very recent events…

---

"Hello, beautiful."

"Sirius picked Abby up from behind, hugging the life out of her. She giggled, trying to squirm from his grip. "Quit it, Sirius!"

He turned her in his arms and pecked her on the cheek. "How are you?" he asked, turning solemn.

Abby's smile faltered a bit, but not completely. "Better," she said truthfully. "You're great, that's why."

"You're adorable," Sirius said, smiling. He placed her on her feet again. "Do you want to take a stroll?" He offered her his hand. "There's an hour until curfew."

Taking his hand, Abby smiled.

The couple soon found themselves wondering the grounds talking about nothing in particular. Then the topic switched gears to a more important one. "How is James doing?" Abby questioned.

Sirius stopped walking. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I can't help but feel like this is partly my fault…largely my fault. He shut down once and we stopped it, and then we just watched him drop off the face of the earth. I _let _him drop off the face of the earth."

"Sirius…"

"I did," Sirius said. "I didn't know how to be around him. I gave him so much space that he felt I'd abandoned him. I didn't want to smother him."

"If it makes you feel any better, Sirius, you're a wonder with me. I don't know how I'd deal with this without you there to hold me while I'm crying."

Sirius grinned slightly and kissed his girlfriend. "I love you Abby Cook."

Abby smiled. "I love you too, Sirius Black."

---

"May I come in?" James questioned through the now slightly open bathroom door.

"I'm covered by bubbles," Lily called back. Taking this as a yes, James entered the steamy bathroom, parchment in hand.

"I was going over what you had here regarding food and stuff."

"Mmhmm…"

"Yes, well I like what you have here," James began, "but I see you decided to have this extravaganza at night." Lily nodded. "The Halloween Feast will leave everyone stuffed beyond comprehension, as any Hogwarts feast does. What if we move the time up to five o'clock? We'll post signs on the Great Hall doors telling everyone to head outside to where the carnival is going to be held. We can have a picnic of all the food you listed here plus a few more dinner-like items so they can eat and be at the carnival at the same time without stuffing themselves too much. Everyone will be all happy and excited and…stuff."

Lily thought about it for a moment then smiled. "See?" she said. "You're not a total waste." He offered up a small smile. "Write it up and take everything to Dumbledore."

---

Six o'clock Monday evening found the Gryffindor Lions Quidditch team, minus one beater and one chaser, changing into their practice uniforms in the locker rooms. With a kick to the door, James Potter and Sirius Black entered, James carrying a large box which held the Quaffle, Bludgers and Snitch. Sirius was carrying both of the boys' broomsticks. They both looked as if they had already taken to the pitch.

"Hello, team," James said, voice raised. He stood on a bench to get their attention. "I wanted to apologize to each of you. I haven't been fulfilling my roll as your captain as of late. Sirius has done a great job, though, from what I hear. I plan on checking on his progress with you tonight, but first I wanted to give you the chance to take away my captainship."

"What?!" Sirius exclaimed, looking at James as if he had ten heads. The rest of the team was muttering various things.

"I've been a bad captain," James went on. "This is your one chance to vote in a new captain. Do you want to take it or not?"

The teammates all looked at each other, and Frank Longbottom took it upon himself to speak for them all. "We aren't following anyone but James Potter to the championships this year!"

The team cheered.


	13. Chapter Twelve

_Note To My Dear Readers: Don't yell at me if I seem to "forget" some things. Just hang in there and know that everything I've written is relevant and will rear its head sooner or later. Love._

**Chapter Twelve**

"James?" Lily opened James' bedroom door a crack to see if he was in there. "James?" She opened the door wider, wide enough to stick her head in. He wasn't inside. "Where…hmm."

Lily closed the door and returned to her bedroom only to emerge moments later with shoes and a sweater on. She headed up to the Astronomy Tower, effectively avoiding Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall.

James was busy wondering if rolling your eyes too much could possibly make them stick that way. He had snuck away from everyone and up to the Astronomy Tower so that he could sort through a few thoughts and have a moment to himself. There hadn't been a moment that he'd been without either Sirius, Lily, Remus, Peter or Abby at some point.

Unfortunately for James, one of his long time admirers was wrapping up some Astronomy homework. Christina Johnston was now talking about Quidditch to try to impress James, but everything that was coming out of her mouth was wrong or senseless. He was basically just humoring her with 'Mmhmm's and "Yeah, that's interesting."

Lily poked her head into the Astronomy Tower to see this little exchange. She could only imagine the pained look on James' face as the sixth year tried to sound like a Quidditch expert. Chuckling to herself, she decided that it was the least she could do to save James from the blonde.

"James! Sorry I'm late!" she called over, entering the room, beaming at him.

"Lils!" James called back. He glanced down at his watch and saw it was nine thirty. "I said nine o'clock."

_He's been listening to _that _for an hour? Ha! _Lily thought. She said, "I know, I'm sorry. I got held up helping Abby out with a Muggle Studies essay." She turned to Christina. "Hello," she said. "I don't believe we've ever been properly introduced."

Christina scrunched her nose snootily at Lily. "Ah, yes," James said. "This is…er…"

"_Christina._"

"Right," said James. "Right. This is Christina. Christina this is Lily Evans." James took a moment to make sure Christina noticed him beaming at Lily.

"Pleasure," said Lily. "Sorry, but we have some things to take care of, head student business. I see you're doing some work." Lily glanced down at Christina's book bag. "Come on, James, lets let her finish up. We can go back down to the common room. Lovely meeting you, Christine."

"_Christina!_"

"Right," James said. He turned away from her and put a hand around Lily's shoulders as they left together. A very disgruntled looking Christina Johnston was left standing alone in the Astronomy Tower.

"Thank you _so_ much!" James exclaimed once they were out of earshot of the Astronomy Tower door. "You are truly a lifesaver."

"I was going to leave you there, but I just couldn't be _that_ cruel to you."

"Sweet of you, really. That girl has been after my goods for quite some time," he said earnestly.

This made Lily laugh out loud. "Wonderful," she said.

The two walked together in the direction of their dormitory in silence for the most part, James' arm still unconsciously around Lily.

"You know what I never understood, James?" Lily said suddenly.

"What's that?"

"You and Sirius can pretty much have any girl you want in this school," she pointed out. "Sirius has dated almost all the Gryffindor girls in our year, sixth year and fifth year, not to mention girls in Hufflepuff and a few in Ravenclaw, but you…you haven't dated anyone. Why is that?"

James slowed his pace and then came to a full stop. He looked at Lily, head cocked to one side. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked.

"If it were obvious, I wouldn't ask."

James grinned and said, "It's obvious, Lily…and I don't like to be Captain Obvious."

With that, James left her standing in the dark, deserted hallway. He went back to his room.

Lily knew that he had liked her because he had asked her out in fifth year, and she knew that he had some confusing feelings for her to this day, but why in the world would he swear off of girls in general? Why wouldn't he find somebody else to date?

Meanwhile James had only one thought: _True love lasts a lifetime._

_---_

"Where are James and Lily?" Abby asked. She was walking toward the Great Hall, hand in hand with Sirius.

"Lily wasn't in Arithmancy," Peter said.

"I haven't seen James since Charms," said Remus.

Sirius shrugged. "Why are the Great Hall doors closed?!" he asked getting panicky. "I want dinner!"

"Calm down, Sirius," Remus said. He pointed at the doors. "It says to go out by the Pitch."

"You can see that from back here?" Abby said in surprise.

"Yes, Remus, what big eyes you have," Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Meanwhile, Lily and James were down at the Quidditch Pitch. The house elves had just finished putting out all of the food and had gone inside. The two head students were now standing on a small stage where the music would soon be coming from.

"Students ahoy!" Professor Dumbledore shouted down to them. He was in the Quidditch stands looking out over the ground.

"Do you think he's lost it?" Lily questioned as Dumbledore finished flailing his arms at them and began rushing down from the stands.

Shaking his head and laughing, James said, "Lily, whatever _it _is, that man lost it long ago."

A mass of excited students and confused professors soon stood in front of Lily, James and the headmaster, who was probably the most excited out of everyone. "Can I have your attention, please!" Dumbledore said, wand to his throat.

The crowd quieted down immediately and Dumbledore began to speak. "First off, on behalf of Lily Evans, James Potter and myself, I would like to wish you all a very Happy Halloween!" The students cheered.

Once the noise died down again, Dumbledore continued. "Behind us sits a superb looking-and smelling-outdoor feast for all of us to enjoy, and behind this delicious food a little ways away you will find your head students' Halloween surprise. It's a carnival! Now go eat so that we can have some fun!"

Dumbledore was the first one to make it to the food. The Head Boy and Girl both laughed and stepped down, allowing the music to begin playing. Their friends found them in the crowd and began to berate them for not spilling their secret.

The feast was just as spectacular as anything they would have eaten inside of the Great Hall. What made it better was the fact that it was a beautiful night and a carnival awaited them.

Abby and Sirius left their friends quite early on in the evening to ride the ferris wheel together…multiple times. Remus and Peter had found the bumper cars and decided to tag team just about everyone that chose to use them. This left Lily and James to enjoy the fruits of their labors. Professor Dumbledore, as a token of his gratitude, had all of the work for the night taken care of, so they were free to enjoy themselves.

"Aw, that stuffed animal is so adorable!" Lily exclaimed, pointing as the two passed by one of the booths.

"Yeah, it is," James said. He removed a sickle from his pocket and gave it to the operator of the game. "How does it work?" he asked the man.

"James, you don't have to-"

"It's a game muggles play," the operator began. "Point the water gun at the target and beat you opponent to the top." James nodded. The other two people who had been waiting for a challenger were ready, as was he.

The bell rang and James squeezed the trigger. He hit the target dead on and won the game against Amos Diggory and Professor Sprout.

Two minutes later, Lily was happily walking with James to the ferris wheel holding a stuffed dog. "Thank you!"

"Lily, if you say 'thanks' one more time, I'm going to set fire to the stuffed animal," James said, chuckling. He hadn't _truly_ felt so good in a long time.

They sat in the seat and the operator closed the bar. The ferris wheel began to rotate with occasional stops. "This is great, James," Lily said as they began to move again. "This idea was truly amazing and I'm glad we went with it."

"Me too," James said, looking down at the students below them. "I just hope it pays off."

"It will," Lily said. "Look at all the fun that everyone is having. You're a genius."

Lily leaned over and pecked James on the cheek. He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. They didn't speak for the rest of the ride.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen**

November brought cold weather upon the school. For the seventh year in a row Sirius was taking monetary bets on when the first snowfall would be. "I don't know why you bother," Remus said. "For the past six years I've won the competition."

"You've just been lucky," said Sirius, collecting money from many of the Gryffindors in the common room. "But your luck is _finally _going to run out this year! I have a fool proof method!"

Sirius left Remus standing, shaking his head. He looked down at Abby, who was sitting down beside him, and whispered, "They're all so dumb. I just check the damn weather." Abby laughed.

James had led the Lions to victory over Hufflepuff in their first match of his last season. The Chasers had done a superb job, but the Keeper, Alice McHugh, had nearly lost them the game. Thankfully, Seeker Frank Longbottom was able to catch the Golden Snitch before the score had gotten too bad.

James had been spending most of his time with Alice out on the Quidditch Pitch training. This left Lily to deal with Sirius' betting habits and Remus' eye rolling.

It was just over three weeks into November when the numbers finally came in. A very muddy James entered his and Lily's common room soaked to the bone from the torrents of rain. Lily was on the couch and tears were rolling down her face.

"Hey, Lily," he said. "What's wrong?"

"The numbers…"

James walked over and took the parchment that Lily was studying out of her hands. "How did this happen?" he asked. "We cut as many financial corners as possible! The numbers can't be right."

"I redid them myself," said Lily. "They're right and we have almost no money left. I have no Christmas Formal!" Lily began to cry harder. She got up and locked herself in her bedroom without another word to James. This had been what she wanted since she found out that she had made Head Girl, and James had single handedly ruined it for her with his stupid carnival idea.

What was he going to do? "I've got to get this Formal," he said to himself.

---

Sirius was skipping down by the lake. Yes, skipping. Was it so wrong that the boy liked to skip from time to time? Suddenly, the ground began to shake violently. He fell, wondering what was happening…

"Sirius!" James hissed, shaking his slumbering friend.

Sirius shot up. "EARTHQUAKE!"

"No, _shh_! James."

Eyes focusing, Sirius groaned. He fell flat on his back, head on his pillow, and said irritably, "What do you want, Prongs?"

"Your help," James said.

"Wake Remus," Sirius muttered, drifting back into dreamland. "He's smarter than I…"

James let out a frustrated sight. Taking up his wand he shot a jet of cold water onto his best friend's face.

"Fine! What?" an irritated and soaking wet Sirius Black growled.

James explained the money situation to Sirius. "-and I just feel really guilty because the Halloween Carnival was _my_ brainchild."

"And you are waking _me_ up why?"

"I want to do the Formal," James said. "I want to pay for it."

"You're going to pay for it yourself?" Sirius asked, sitting back up. James nodded. "You've lost it!"

"Come on, Sirius," James said, pacing. "I owe her…and it isn't like I don't have the money."

Sirius sighed, rubbing his eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

"Get me Witching Hour."

"What?!"

"Come on, Sirius, I know you can."

Sirius bit his lip. "Fine," he said. "I'll write the letter in the morning…you're going to owe me big time, James. You know how I feel about my family, regardless of the fact that Bonnie isn't into the Dark Arts."

"I'll owe you my life!" James said, bowing to Sirius. "Tell her I'll pay any price."

Sirius nodded. "Now leave. I. Am. Tired."

---

Lily didn't show herself in the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning. It was a Saturday and Hufflepuff was taking to the air against Slytherin at noon.

"James, Sirius told me about the budget," Remus said. "Are you insane?"

"Yes," James said matter-of-factly. "And I'd appreciate it if you would keep this quiet."

"You would have told him anyway," Sirius said, drying the ink on his parchment with his wand. He folded the letter and set it aside to wait for the post to arrive.

"Did you even ask Dumbledore if this was alright?" Remus asked. "They took it away from us for a reason."

"_Dippit_ took it away from us, which is the point," James said. "Dumbledore is a fun-loving man."

"That doesn't mean-"

"I asked him last night if Lily and I were allowed to put together holiday events at our own discretion. He said yes."

"So what are we talking about here?" Remus questioned.

"We are talking about the most insanely large scale dance you can imaging times seven."

"But why?"

"Consider it my Christmas gift for Lily," James said. "This is important to her."

"…alright…Remus Lupin at your service."

---

James knocked, but there was no answer. He knocked again. "Looking for me?" came a voice from behind him. He jumped and turned to see Lily Evans, standing very close to him.

"Merlin, Lily, you scared the living crap out of me!" he exclaimed. Breathing heavily for a moment, he asked, "I came to see how you are. I haven't talked to you all day."

"I'm fine." Lily pushed passed him to enter her room.

"I'm going to make it up to you, Lily," James said following her. He took a seat on her bed.

"I'm not mad at you," she said.

"The fact that you brought that up unprovoked just proves that you are."

"Oh shut up, James." Lily sighed. "I suppose we can just use what's left for Valentine's Day or something."

"Yeah, we can do that," James said offhandedly. "You don't want to do anything else for Christmas?"

"No," Lily said, disappointment dripping off of the tiny word.

_Perfect!_ James thought. Now he knew she wouldn't be getting in his way with conflicting Christmas plans.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter Fourteen**

James found himself feeling much better emotionally. He was keeping himself busy with the secret Christmas planning. It had only been a small while, but everything was coming together rather nicely.

Witching Hour was booked to play with the Regina Thomas band from eight o'clock until midnight. Entertainment: Nine Hundred Galleons.

James had somehow managed to book the famous magical chef Felix Elliot to cook the feast with the House Elves for a haggled price. Food: Two Hundred Galleons, Two Sickles, Five Knuts, One Invite.

Remus' mother had graduated Hogwarts only to give birth to Remus. While raising her young son, she took up interior design as an at home profession. With one heartwarming letter from James, she had agreed to work her magic-literally-on Hogwarts. Decoration: Free.

Witch Fashion Magazine was owned my famous witch fashion designer Melissa Santoine. Miss Santoine and her friends from the magazine agreed to a price of three hundred galleons each to design one of a kind dress robes, a one in a million hair style and some unique makeup stylings for Lily, which James knew that she'd love. Lily's Fashion For The Evening: Two Thousand, One Hundred Galleons.

And that is how it went.

---

"James, how do you do it?" Abby asked, staring at the letter that James had just received from Melissa Santoine.

"My parents are…well, they _were_ connected," he said. "I don't really know how it happened, but it did…so I know people."

"Awesome," Abby whispered.

"Seems like everything is set, mate," Sirius said, slapping James on the back. "Bonnie wrote me to tell us that they received payment. They'll be here with Regina Thomas."

"Melissa received payment as well," said James, motioning to the letter."

"We're waiting on the chef," said Abby.

Nodding, Sirius said, "Have you seen Peter?"

"He's up in his room," Abby said.

James checked his watch. "Oh! We have to go." Sirius nodded. "See you later."

It was the full moon.

---

"Where did you go with James and Peter last night?"

"Can't a man have any secrets?" Sirius said with a smile. He put his arm around his girlfriend and kissed her on the cheek.

It was a Sunday afternoon and the young couple was in Hogsmeade. They had just sat for a lovely lunch and were now bundled up to fight the cold, walking the streets of the small village. "So where would you like to start, love?" Sirius asked.

"We should start with Lily," said Abby. "She's the only one that I don't know have a clue as to what to buy."

"I think I know what we can get for Lily," Sirius said, steering his girlfriend into a shop on their left.

Abby had never been inside of this store before. It was narrow and completely packed with very random items. Sirius moved to the back of the shop while Abby lingered at a clothing rack to the left of the entrance. She sorted through some of the robes hanging on it, which were mostly old black robes that Abby presumed students would buy if they needed an extra set of school robes.

She was about to move on to the many necklaces hanging from the wall when her hazel eyes found a dark green set of dress robes. There was gold trim on the edges and Abby instantly fell in love with the used robes.

"Hey, babe, I found it," Sirius called to her, walking over with a box in his hands. "What are you looking at?"

"Look at these robes," Abby breathed, taking them off of the rack. "They're beautiful."

"Try them on," Sirius said, taking her scarf from around her neck.

Abby put her gloves into her cloak pocket and then handed Sirius her cloak. She removed the hanger and put them on over her weekend clothes.

Sirius' jaw literally dropped and then a smile crept onto his face. He placed what he was holding on the floor and tucked her dark brown hair behind her right ear. Abby wasn't what many of the guys at Hogwarts considered very attractive, but Sirius found that she was the most beautiful girl-woman on the face of the earth.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, leaning in for a soft kiss. "Those robes would be great for the dance."

Their moment was interrupted by the shop owner, who had been in the office. "Ah, the Washington Robes," he said. "Those have been here for quite some time."

"How much are they?" Abby inquired.

"Don't answer that," Sirius said quickly. "We'll take them."

"Sirius-"

"Could we get a box for them?"

The shopkeeper nodded, smiling at the young couple. He left to find a box for the robes once Abby removed them and handed them to him. "Thank you, Sirius…really."

"Just consider it an early half of your Christmas present, love," he said. "Speaking of presents…" He bent over and picked up the box. "Check this out. I was in here a few weeks back and thought that Lily might like it for Christmas."

Abby opened the box. A beautiful photo album was inside "Sirius, this is nice, but why?"

"A very little known fact about Lily Evans," Sirius said, "is that she loves taking pictures. She likes to wander the grounds and take pictures of…well, anything. Trees, water…anything really."

"And you know this little known fact because…"

"I like to sit by the lake and read sometimes…sue me."

"You will never cease to amaze me, dear," Abby said, kissing Sirius on the cheek.

---

_James and Sirius were laughing so hard that Remus couldn't help but crack a smile. He didn't agree with making Malfoy speak all of his inner feelings in rhyme, but even he had to admit that it was funny._

_In a whirl of feathers, the post arrived. Remus received his Daily Prophet and Peter got a small care package from his grandmother. James began to eat his breakfast but was interrupted by a very official looking envelope._

_Remus froze as he caught sight of the envelope soaking in James' oatmeal. Sirius was busy listening to details about Malfoy's love life, or lack there of and Peter was busy going through his package._

_James was frozen. He didn't want to move. If he moved, it would be real, and he didn't want it to be real. It couldn't possibly be real…_

_He reached to the letter and plucked it out of the oatmeal. Breaking the wax seal, he opened it and was sucked inside of the envelope._

James awoke with a jolt, looking around wildly. Lily looked up from her Charms essay and said, "What is it?"

"Nothing," James said, settling back into his armchair. "Just a bad dream…"

Lily placed her quill down. "What about?" she questioned.

"Nothing," James repeated. "Just a bit of memory…"

The pair fell into silence yet again as Lily took up her quill once more to finish off the essay. It was only when she stood to turn in for the night that James spoke again, saying, "Lily, I have something to tell you."

Lily turned and raised her eyebrows at him. "I kind of got you a Christmas present that can't wait until Christmas. I want you to know what it is now."

"James, don't ruin the surprise!" Lily said with a smile. "I haven't even had time to shop yet," she added as an afterthought.

"No, Lils, you really need to know this right now," James said. He pulled his book bag from under the armchair and removed a folder. Holding it out to her, he said, "Here. Look inside."

Lily shuffled through the papers, reading what was scribbled on them: James' notes on everything that had to do with the Christmas Formal. "Is this…"

"Merry Christmas, Lily," James said, standing. "You get your Formal."

"But…but the money-"

"My treat," James said.

"You-"

"Yeah," James said, nodding.

Lily flung her arms around James' neck, dropping all of the parchment in the process. "Thank you so much!"


	16. Chapter Fifteen

_A short, Remus-based chapter._

**Chapter Fifteen**

The announcement of the Christmas Formal sent the student body into a frenzy. Left and right owls were being sent home to parents. Most of them said they would be home on the twenty-fifth, for the great and wise Albus Dumbledore had arranged a late train home for the day after the dance, which was to be held on Christmas Eve. Girls were demanding an extra Hogsmeade trip to shop for dress robes while the boys were all busy contemplating which girl to ask to the dance.

"So, Remus," Sirius said, slapping his friend on the back, "who's the lucky lady?" Sirius ruffled Remus' sandy brown hair only to be swatted away.

"No one," he said, a bit disgruntled. "I'm going stag."

"Only I can do that, mate," James said with a laugh.

"Oh, shut up," Remus grumbled.

"Moony, my dear friend, there are a hundred girls here that would kill to go with someone as handsome as sensitive as yourself," Sirius said earnestly.

"I sometimes wonder about you," James said with a small frown and a cocked head to Sirius.

"I can't," Remus said.

"We're not asking for you to fall in love and reveal all of your _hairiest _secrets. Just don't go to the dance alone!"

The bell that signaled the end of the breakfast was more than welcome to Remus' ears. He and Lily left together for Arithmancy.

"Where's Peter?" Lily asked as the pair navigated the halls.

"He wasn't feeling well this morning," said Remus quietly.

"You know," Lily began, but she was interrupted by a call of, "REMUS!"

Both Remus and Lily turned to see the raven haired girl known as Deborah Stevens running to catch up to them. "Hello, Lily," she said with a broad smile. "How are you?"

"Lovely," said Lily. "Remus, I've just realized that I forgot my text. I'll meet you in Arithmancy." Even with the looks she was getting from Remus, Lily couldn't help but smile as she walked away.

"So, er…what's up, Deborah?" Remus asked.

"Not much. And call me Deb."

"Right…Deb."

"Listen, Remus," Deb began. "I know that we hardly know each other, but I don't want to beat around the bush. Would you like to go to the Formal as my date?"

This caught Remus somewhat off guard. All he knew about Deborah Stevens was that she played Chaser for Ravenclaw (and she was absolutely brilliant at it.)

"Er…well…" Remus held his breath for a moment before letting it out slowly.

"If you don't want to-" Deb began slowly, but Remus cut her off with, "No! No, that's not it! I just…we should probably get to know each other a bit, don't you think?" Deb nodded slowly. "Would you…would you fancy dinner with me tonight? We could talk…"

"I'd like that," Deb said with a smile. "The Great Hall's loud."

"Meet me in the Entrance Hall at six," said Remus. "I'll take care of it."

Lily saved a seat for Remus next to her in the back of the room. She was smiling like mad at his as he entered the classroom and nearly ran to his seat, grumbling at Lily that he hated her.

"You do not," she whispered back. "What happened?"

---

Remus sat on the bottom step of the marble staircase waiting for Deb. He had a picnic that was lovingly prepared by the House Elves sitting in a basket next to him. When she walked up to him he smiled and stood, picking the basket up.

"I didn't bring my cloak," she said, motioning to the basket.

With a small chuckle, Remus said, "It's way too cold outside to eat a _real _picnic. Come on."

Remus led Deb to a deserted classroom that looked like it hadn't been used in quite some time. An old fashioned checkered picnic blanket was spread out on the floor. Deb took a seat as Remus unpacked the food.

"So tell me something about yourself besides that you're a brilliant Chaser," he said as he settled into his meal.

"Thank you," Deb said with a smile. "Well…lets see…my life story in a nutshell. My name is Deborah Anne Stevens. Everyone calls me Deb. My birthday is September twenty-ninth and I am a sixth year, even though I'm seventeen because I was a little late on the whole powers thing. I'm a muggleborn witch with a real thing for Quidditch. My best subject is Care of Magical Creatures and I want to do something with dragons when I get out of school because I love them."

"Well, well. I am Remus Jacob Lupin. My birthday is July ninth. This is my last year at Hogwarts. I'm a quote 'pureblood' unquote and I've been making trouble with my powers around the house since I can remember. I won't go near brooms because I basically just suck at that and I have a head for Defense Against The Dark Arts along with no real career aspirations at present."

"Really?" said Deb. "The Great Remus Lupin doesn't know what he wants to be when he joins the outside world?"

Shaking his head with a smile, Remus said, "I didn't know it'd be that surprising to be a confused individual who doesn't think he's ready to be thrown out into the world so carelessly by a school that has been his home for the past seven years."

"It's normal," said Deb. "I just didn't expect it to be you. You seem to be so…I don't know, _together_."

"Appearances are deceiving…especially where I'm concerned."

"I'll just have to keep that in mind, won't I?"


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter Sixteen**

James was face down on the table taking somewhat of a powernap as Sirius, Abby and Lily ate dinner. "Is Peter still feeling ill?" Lily questioned.

"Yeah," Sirius said through a full mouth.

"Urgh, Sirius! That is _disgusting!_" said Abby, smacking her boyfriend in the arm. "What's up with James? He looks like he's having a bad dream."

Lily shook James by the shoulder, saying, "Wake up, James!" He shot up with a sharp intake of oxygen. "You alright?"

"Huh? Yeah…yeah, I'm fine."

"Won't be for long," Sirius muttered.

"What are you-" James was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. He turned to see the one and only Christina Johnston.

"Hey, James!"

"Hello, Christina," he replied, trying to fight the urge to stand and run.

"James, would you like to honor yourself by being my date to the Christmas Formal?"

Abby nearly choked on her potatoes when the words left Christina's mouth. Sirius was coughing wildly to hide his laughter and Lily's eyes were rolling like mad.

"I, er…" James was trying to think of ways to let her down easily. "I would have loved to…but, er…but-"

"But he's my date, Christine," Lily piped up, turning to face the girl. Abby, Sirius and James all gave Lily surprised looks.

"_Christina_."

"Right, whatever," Lily said. "James, be a dear and pass the potatoes, would you?"

An angry Christina Johnston huffily left the four seventh years be as James scooped potatoes and put them on Lily's plate. Once she was out of earshot, James said, "Thank you, Lily. That's the second time you've saved me from her."

"I try," said Lily.

"Are you two really going together?" Abby questioned.

"No," James said quickly and in unison with Lily. Then he turned to her. "Well," he said, "unless you…I don't know, unless you wanted to…if I were to go with _you_ I really _would_ feel honored."

Lily smiled. "That's the least I could do after what you've done to make this happen," she said. "Lets dance the night away!"

"Well isn't that cute? James and Lily…Lily and James. There's a nice ring to that, don't you think?" Remus plopped down next to Lily and smiled at her.

"Shut it, you," Lily said. "How was Operation Get To Know You?"

Remus blushed a bit and smiled as James asked, "What's that?"

"Deborah Stevens asked Remus to the Formal," Lily said happily.

"What?!" both Sirius and Remus exclaimed.

Nodding, Remus said, "We're going together."

"Traitor!" Sirius said, pointing fingers. "She's on a _different_ team!"

"Oh, shit it Sirius," said James. "Congratulations, Moony."

"Thank you, Prongs."

"Okay, so new operation," Lily said, clapping her hands together. "Operation Dress Robes. When do we go to Hogsmeade?"

"Actually," Abby said, "you're not part of Operation Dress Robes."

"What?! Am I supposed to go completely naked?"

"Not exactly," said Remus.

"You know Melissa Santoine?"

Lily nodded at James, saying, "Fashion designer."

"Yeah," James went on. "Well…she's got your picture and she's designing robes for you along with a team of makeup and hair specialists…or whatever."

"…you?" James nodded. "But-"

"Merry Christmas."

"How-"

"My parents know a lot of people…knew a lot of people."

"…"

"I love it when I leave you speechless."

---

_He was running so hard. He was trying to go harder, faster. He just wanted to get away. He wanted so badly to get away from them. He didn't want to die like his parents had died, and that is what was about to happen. He did it again. He looked, he tripped._

James awoke with a start, breathing hard. "Christ," he muttered, getting out of bed. He began to pace, muttering to himself and trying to lower his heart rate.

A knock on the door broke him from his train of thought. He opened it to reveal pajama clad Lily Evans rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Hey, Lily," he said, catching her contagious yawn.

"You okay? You were making a bit of a ruckus in here."

"I'm sorry I woke you," James said, smiling apologetically. "I was running through a dream."

Nodding, Lily said, "Okay, as long as you're alright…good night, James."

"Night, Lil."

James closed the door and threw himself down onto his bed, sighing. He ran a hand through his bed head and said quietly to himself, "I've got to get these dreams to stop…I could really go for a drink right now."

James sighed again and crawled back under his covers. He didn't want to let his friends down, so he had been trying to forget about moments like these during the days. He was trying to be good old James Potter again, and for the most part he was fooling everyone. Sometimes Lily could see through it, he could tell, but mostly he was doing well.

Unable to get back to sleep, James took up parchment, a quill and ink and moved into the common room to write to his sister.

_Dear Pamina,_

_How are you? School has been busy. Lily and I organized a Halloween Carnival and now the big news around Hogwarts is that we got the Christmas Formal back. I'm going with Lily as friends. I'd like it to mean a bit more than that, but it never will. _

_Anywho, I just wanted to say hey to my big sister. I miss you. Write back soon._

_Love, _

_James_

Folding the letter, he reentered his bedroom and slipped it into his backpack. He would visit the Owlry in the morning.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

_This is the longest one so far…reviews and/or criticism highly appreciated._

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Midterm exams are officially over!" James sighed, plopping onto the sofa in his and Lily's common room. The whole gang was there and they gave cheers. "Tomorrow we relax!" James went on. "Then Friday is the dance."

"Who is everyone going with?" Peter asked. He hadn't been around much lately.

"I am being graced by the presence of this fine young woman, of course," Sirius said, patting the top of Abby's head.

"Quit it, you!" she said, swatting at his hands.

"I'm going with Deb."

"Stevens?" Remus nodded. "Nice."

"Me and Lily are going together." Peter raised his eyebrows suggestively, so James added, "Just as friends."

"Oh."

"Who are you taking, Peter?" Abby asked politely. She had never liked the boy much but made an effort to be nice for Sirius' sake.

"Well…I'm going with Anna Heinz from Hufflepuff."

"Fifth year, right?" said Lily. Peter nodded. "Good for you."

---

"What are you doing up here?" Sirius questioned, standing in the middle of the boys' dormitory in only his boxers. He had just gotten out of the shower and Remus was now occupying the bathroom.

"Merlin, Padfoot, put on some pants!" Peter exclaimed, entering the room behind James. He closed the door and removed his dress robes from his trunk.

"Lily, Deborah, and your _wonderful _girlfriend along with some very famous designers hung my stuff on Terry The Knight and changed the password so that I can't get in," James said disgruntled, throwing his things onto his old bed. "Not fair."

"Girls," Sirius muttered, putting on a pair of slacks. "Our home is your home, Jamie."

"Do not call me 'Jamie,' Siri."

The boys were all ready fairly quickly. The only thing that held them up was fighting to get James' hair to behave. It was a battle well fought, but they lost it as usual. Peter left them in the Gryffindor Common Room to make his way to Hufflepuff, so Remus, Sirius and James all sat together by the fire until it was time to meet their dates at the top of the marble staircase.

"I wonder what Melissa and her pals did with Lily," Sirius said as they walked through the nearly deserted halls.

"She didn't have to do much," James replied absentmindedly. "Lily's beautiful."

"You're like a lovesick puppy sometimes, do you know that?" said Remus.

"Let him be!" said Sirius. "If anyone is going to make James neglect me, I want it to be her!"

"I have _not _neglected you!" James exclaimed in defense.

"I feel so unloved!" Sirius stopped walking and pretended to cry.

"Shut up, Sirius. _I _love you," said Remus, patting him on the back. Sirius threw his arms around Remus' neck and pretended to be sobbing into his shoulder.

"Damn, Deb, looks like we're both barking up the wrong tree, eh? Good for you, Lily. You've got the only straight one out of the bunch." Abby walked over to her boyfriend and pulled him off of Remus.

Sirius' eyes looked her up and down and he smiled goofily. "You are _beautiful_," he said. She was wearing the robes that he had purchased for her, which went down to the floor, but fit her shape quite nicely. She wasn't wearing too much makeup-it was very subtle-and her hair was braided.

"I'll see you guys in there," Sirius said to his friends, not taking his eyes off of his love.

Deb took Remus' arm and they began to walk away as well. She had left her hair down, but it was straightened rather than its usual wavy self. Her dress robes were navy blue and went nicely with his brand new maroon robes.

"Deb, where's Lily?" James called after them.

Deb looked over her shoulder as she and Remus walked away and called to James, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

A very confused James watched Remus and Deb descend the staircase before being tapped on the shoulder. As he turned, his jaw dropped. Lily was standing there in a brilliantly form fitting set of white robes. Her hair was curled and pinned up, but some of it fell to the sides of her face. Her makeup was minimal and her smile wide. "How do I look?" she asked timidly.

"You are the most beautiful girl-woman…you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in person or otherwise," James breathed. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Thank you," she said. "Thank you for everything. This is the best Christmas I've ever had." She kissed James' cheek and he blushed madly.

"Lets go, beautiful," he said. "Feast won't start without us."

Lily gasped audibly, causing James to chuckle, as the pair entered the Great Hall. It had been transformed by Mrs. Lupin into a Winter Wonderland. There were many small round tables scattered through the hall. They each had six seats around them and everything was made completely of ice. The ice was charmed, of course, to not melt or give your behind frostbite.

Snow was gently falling from the ceiling, but disappeared right above head level so that no one would get snowy. The long table where the professors were to sit along with the Head Students was in its usual place, but was also made completely of ice.

All of the decorations were centered around snow and ice, it was absolutely beautiful. "Mrs. Lupin outdid herself," Lily whispered to James as they made their way to their seats.

"I know, she's absolutely brilliant."

Once everyone had taken their seats, Professor Dumbledore stood and silence fell over the room.

"Welcome," he began, "to your new and improved Christmas Formal brought to you by your dear Head Students-James Potter and Lily Evans!" Everyone cheered, just as they had cheered at Halloween. "I hope you are all as hungry as I am," Dumbledore went on, "because I am now cutting myself short. Enjoy the feast!"

The food, served on plates of ice and eaten with utensils of ice, was superb, as usual. The House Elves of Hogwarts were truly master chefs. After an hour of chatter, laughter and amazing food, Dumbledore stood.

"Would everybody please stand up," he said. All of the students and professors did so and with a single wave of Dumbledore's wand, the tables and chairs all melted and were replaced with the dance floor. With a second wand wave, a stage of ice was formed at the edge of the dance floor and some smaller tables and chairs of ice were now lining the room along with a table for punch and butterbeer.

Witching Hour entered the hall and took to the stage. Excited murmurs filled the hall. "Hello, Hogwarts!" Bonnie Black shouted into her magical microphone. "Get on the dance floor!"

The band struck up an up-tempo tune and most students didn't need to be told twice.

"Fancy a dance?" James asked, standing and extending a hand to Lily.

"You bet," she said.

Meanwhile, Remus and Deb were awkwardly dancing in the corner of the dance floor. Remus had never been as good with the ladies as Sirius, and he was having a bit of trouble feeling comfortable dancing with this one.

Peter and Anna weren't dancing at all. The two of them were engaged in what seemed to be an interesting conversation to Anna near the punch table. Peter looked a bit bored as he listened to her talk.

Sirius and Abby were having a great time in the middle of the dance floor. They ignored the existence of anybody but themselves. When the band switched gears to a slow song, Sirius smiled.

He pulled Abby closer to him with his right arm resting on the small of her back, his left hand taking her smaller one. Abby rested her head on his shoulder as the pair swayed gently to the music.

Sirius maneuvered his head to be able to whisper, "I love you," into his girlfriend's ear and she gave him a little squeeze.

"I think those two are absolutely adorable," Lily said to James, looking over at Sirius and Abby.

"That they are," James said, wishing silently that he was holding Lily that close to him. "I've never, not _ever_, heard Sirius talk about a girl the way he talks about Abby." He dipped Lily, then brought her back up. "Also, I don't think any of his so called relationships have lasted more than a month, but he's been with Abby since the beginning of the year. I think this may be it for old Padfoot."

"I think it's sweet," Lily said. "He'd rather die than hurt her, wouldn't he?"

James nodded. "That's a real relationship," he said. _I'd die to save you from pain, Lily Evans. _"And she brings out so much good in him. Sirius has had very few detentions since he started dating Abby. We all have actually…Abby has been great for him."

"I want that," said Lily earnestly.

_It's within your reach, _James thought silently. _It's within your reach and you don't realize it._

From an ice table in a far corner of the room, a pair of bloodshot eyes never left Lily and James as they danced to a slow beat.

As the night wore on, Remus got more comfortable with being around Deb and they were now dancing quite closely to a Regina Thomas song. Peter had gotten Anna to shut up and they were also dancing quite closely. Sirius and Abby were sitting together near the drink table sipping a couple of butterbeers and chatting.

"Want to go for a walk?" James questioned as he handed Lily a bottled butterbeer. "It's getting a bit stuffy in here."

Sipping the butterbeer, Lily nodded. "For a bit," she said.

The two left the hall together and took to the chilly outdoors of the Hogwarts grounds. On his way into the castle was Hagrid and he stopped when he saw them, smiling. "Hey there, Lily, James!" he said. "How are yeh?"

"Doing well, Hagrid," Lily said. "How are you?"

"I just had teh check on my new pup," Hagrid said happily. "Yeh should come down teh see him soon! He's beautiful."

"How about tea the day after tomorrow?" James suggested. "We'll bring Remus and Sirius. Pete's going home."

"Sounds great," said Hagrid. "Alrigh', I owe Professor Sprout a dance. I'll see yeh later."

"Bye, Hagrid," said the two teenagers as they continued their walk down the path.

Sirius found Remus in the crowd. He and Deb were still dancing. "Sorry," Sirius said to Deb, "but could I cut in for a moment?"

Deb laughed. "Take all the time you need," she said. "I need to visit the ladies room."

Bowing to Deb, Sirius took her place and began dancing with Remus. "Is this necessary, Padfoot?"

"Always, Moony, always," said Sirius. He dipped Remus. "Did you see James and Lily leave together?"

"No."

"Well they did," said Sirius. "Guess who left right after them…"

"He who got his ass dumped?"

"Good guess, Moony," said Sirius. "Now I don't want it to seem like I'm an eavesdropper, but I was eavesdropping on Lily and James one time, _totally on accident_ I might add. This asshole beat up on Lily and that's why she left him and why James stuck him to the ceiling of his dorm room."

"He did _what_?!"

"Yep."

"So what are you thinking?" Remus questioned. "Stop spinning me!" he added angrily.

"Alright, alright," said Sirius, letting his friend go. "I think that we should follow because you know what happens when we're not there to watch James' back."

"I'm inclined to agree with you, even though I think living the rest of his life as a sea monkey or a slug or something would suit that bastard."

"Very true," said Sirius. "However, a sentence in Azkaban wouldn't suit James at all. Abby will take care of Deb."

As the two boys stepped outside of the castle, they spotted Lily running up the steps. "Sirius! Remus!"

"Lily."

"Michael and James…fighting." Lily was very out of breath, but she was pointing down the path.

"It's like I'm a Seer or something," Sirius said, taking off down the path followed closely by Remus.

James and Michael were locked in an intense battle, fists flying and wands forgotten. Sirius dove into the altercation and pulled Michael off of his best friend. Remus rushed over to help Sirius restrain the angry Bonehead.

James, who was bleeding from a broken nose and could feel a black eye, grabbed his wand and shouted, "Stupefy!"

Together with Sirius and Remus, he carried Michael back to the castle.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Chapter Eighteen**

Lily sat, huddled up on the couch. The rest of the ball had been held without James Potter. Sirius and Remus took turns dancing with Lily, but her heart wasn't in it. Now she was alone, the others all having gone to their respective dormitories to change into pajamas and retrieve all of the Christmas presents. Lily had already placed all of the gifts she'd purchased under the tree that James had put up.

Now she was sitting alone, waiting for somebody to come down. The fire was dancing and crackling wildly, keeping Lily warm.

There was some commotion by the ladder. James had slipped and fell to the ground.

"That hurt," he moaned, standing and stretching.

James walked over and sat down rather close to Lily. "I'm sorry that your night was ruined," he said quietly, placing a hand on hers. Lily flinched before she could stop herself. James sighed. "He threw the first punch, Lily. And if it weren't for me doing what I did he would have tried going for you." Lily nodded and James put his hand on hers again.

"You know I would never hurt you right?" he said. Lily nodded, but her eyes didn't quite meet his. "Lily…"

"He's never going to leave me be, is he?" Lily finally choked out. She was beginning to cry.

James put an arm around Lily, pulling her to him. "He's never going to bother you again," he said. "He's been expelled, wand broken and everything. He's never going to bother you again."

Lily let James hold her close. She knew that there was no reason to feel afraid around him. He, after all, was the one who had saved her from Michael twice. He was the reason that she had friends. He was the reason that she had gotten her dance…he cared about her.

"I owe you at _least _one dance," James said.

"There's no music."

Chuckling, James stood and said, "So what? I want to have the last dance of the evening."

Smiling, Lily stood. James took her hand and placed his other on the small of her back just as it had been earlier. The pair began to sway to an imaginary tune.

Lily stepped in closer and rested her head on James. He held her close and began to hum a tune that was unfamiliar to Lily.

---

Sirius, Abby and Remus, much like Santa Claus, climbed down the ladder and into the common room with sacks full of gifts. When they hit the ground, they all stopped talking and smiled.

"Isn't that cute?" Sirius whispered happily.

James and Lily were lying on the sofa together, fast asleep. James was holding onto Lily and she had her hand resting on his chest.

Abby summoned a blanket from Lily's room and covered the two teens with it. "Come on, Si," she said quietly, taking his hand. "I'm tired."

Sirius and Abby wished Remus sweet dreams as they closed the door to Lily's room. Remus quietly wished them the same, going into James' bedroom.

James was awoken by a bright light over his face. Scrunching his face, he opened his eyes a very small bit. He wondered what time it was, and as he was about to move he realized that a slumbering redhead was resting on him. James smiled and ran his hand through her hair. He could get used to this, he thought.

Lily stirred. As she stretched, her eyes fluttered open. "Morning," James said, moving a strand of hair from her face.

"Good morning," Lily said.

"Merry Christmas." James smiled and sat the two of them up. "Judging by the sunlight, this is the latest I've ever slept while spending a Christmas with Sirius."

Right on cue, Sirius burst from Lily's bedroom. "CHRISTMAS!" he shouted.

A very sleepy Abby Cook was rubbing said sleep from her eyes as she emerged. Sirius bound into James' bedroom to wake Remus as Abby sat in the armchair across from James and Lily.

"Sorry," she muttered through a yawn. "I tried to subdue him as long as possible."

"Don't be sorry," James said. "I've spent every Christmas since first year with that dog and this is the latest I've ever gotten to be asleep."

Once everybody was awake, or somewhat so, and in the common room, Santa-Sirius began handing out presents.

"Okay, so, Abby and Lily, you haven't done this with us," James said. "We each go around opening presents from one person."

"Open mine first, everyone!" Sirius exclaimed happily. "Mine mine mine!"

"Okay, okay," Remus said. "Everyone grab Sirius' gift before he has a heart attack."

And so the Great Present Unwrapping began. From Sirius, James received an enormous bag of candy. It seemed like the entirety of Honeydukes had been squished into a bag. In the middle of the bag James found a card with a gift certificate for a restaurant in Hogsmeade. The card read:

_Prongs,_

_Stop stalling and go for it! Here's a start- dinner for you and her on me._

_Don't do anything that I wouldn't do!_

_Padfoot_

James smiled at Sirius as he read the card and said, "Thanks, Padfoot."

"Not a problem."

Sirius had bought for Remus a collection of muggle books because he knew how much Remus loved reading muggle stories. For Abby, Sirius had gotten a beautiful sapphire necklace. When she opened it, she squealed and tackled him, kissing him passionately.

Lily opened the box that was marked from Sirius and Abby. The photo album from the little store in Hogsmeade sat, looking somewhat normal. On the cover was a picture that had been taken only a week prior to this of the whole gang.

Lily removed the album from the box, it was quite old so she was careful. "This is beautiful," she said. "Thank you, both of you…thank you."

"Open it," Sirius said with a smile, his arm around his girlfriend.

Lily opened the book slowly to find all of the pictures that she had ever taken inside of it, plus a few that she hadn't. "Where did you get all of these?" Lily asked. "These are my photos."

"We stole them from your room last night," said Abby.

"Thank you, guys, I love it."

"Of course, Lils."

"Open mine next," said Remus.

After Remus' came Abby's gifts to her friends, and after Abby's came James' and after his was Lily's.

"Guys, it's snowing!" Sirius exclaimed, pointing out the window. There was a small amount of white carpeting on the grounds. "I want to play in the snow!"

"You're dating a five year old," James said to Abby, nodding to Sirius who was at the window.

"I know," said Abby, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll meet you guys for breakfast in the Great Hall in, say, an hour?"

"Sounds good," Lily said.

Remus, Sirius and Abby left James and Lily alone to clean the wrapping paper and to get cleaned up. James disappeared into his room for a moment, reemerging with a wrapped package. Lily had her back turned to him and was using her wand to clean the room. He snuck up behind her and held the gift out so that it was in front of her.

"James, what is this?" Lily questioned, taking the gift and turning to face James. "You already did whole Formal for me…"

"I'm an impulsive shopper," said James. "Really, I can't help it."

"I can't accept this, James," Lily said. "All I got you was a Quaffle."

"A very nice, _personalized_ Quaffle that I love," James corrected. "Just open the gift, please, Lily."

Looking down, Lily untied the bow and ripped off the paper. Opening the cardboard box, she gasped. "James, no! I can't-"

"Sure you can," James said. "Sirius told me that he often ran into you when you were taking photos. He said you seemed to really enjoy doing it, and yet I've not seen you take a single photograph in the past six months that we've lives together."

"Michael broke my camera," Lily said as she took up the new camera, dropping the box, and held it to her eye. "Say cheese!"

James laughed as he said it and Lily snapped a photo.

---

Christmas Afternoon found the seventh years bundled up and playing like small children in the snow. Lily had placed a waterproof charm on her new camera and was snapping pictures of her friends like mad.

Sirius was chasing Abby with snowballs and eventually tackled her to the ground, rolling her through the snow. Remus was busy making a wonderfully large snowman while James worked on a fort, slightly removed from the rest of the group.

Lily glanced in James' direction. He was half hidden behind his half finished fort. When he stood, Lily saw that he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Looking back at the others to make sure that they were occupied, Lily trudged through the snow over to James' fort.

She sat on the ground, the falling snow taking up residence in her flaming hair. James sat down next to her, leaning against the wall of the fort. "It's coming along," he said.

Lily nodded, but stayed silent.

"When I was little I used to make forts with my dad every Christmas. My mom and my sister would make one as well. We'd have these huge family snowball fights from behind and they used to go well into the night…until one team surrendered. Then we'd go inside and my mom would make us all hot chocolate and we'd sit around the fire as a family. My parents would tell us stories about when they were younger…stories about Hogwarts days…happy stories.

"What will I tell my sons and daughters when we're sitting around the fire? Sure, I've had some good times here, but lets face it-everyone is dying. I was real close with my grandparents, whereas my kids won't even know theirs…at least on my side of the family. The way things are going in the world, though, I doubt that they'll have grandparents on my wife's side either, you know?

"What kind of a world is it, Lily, when kids don't even get to know their grandparents?"

"I'm not sure, James," Lily said quietly.

"I want to do something about it," he went on. "I want to make it so my kids' kids will know me. There has to be something that we can do…"

"You can become an Auror," Lily suggested. "Other than that…"

"That isn't enough," James said. "It obviously isn't enough, because nothing is getting done."

"James, you aren't going to do anything stupid, are you?" Lily asked worriedly.

"Define stupid," said James.

"Try to go off and capture Voldemort or any of his followers…"

"No," said James. "No, I'm not going to do anything like that…not right now. I just…miss my parents. It's my first…yeah."

Lily wrapped her arms around James in a friendly hug.

"I'm going to finish this fort up," James said when she let go of him. He stood. "When I-"

James was cut off by a snowball to the face followed by howling laughter from Sirius. "YOU'RE DEAD, BLACK!" James shouted, dipping down to make a snowball.

He began to chase Sirius and didn't stop until the ball of snow was down the back of Sirius' shirt.

"TRUCE! TRUCE!" Sirius shrieked, trying to get all of the snow off of his bare skin.

"Lets get the girls," James suggested to Remus and Sirius quietly. Evil smiles formed on all three of their faces.

And that was how the five friends spent the rest of their afternoon: the boys trying to torture the girls with snowballs and the girls trying to fight them off.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**Chapter Nineteen**

The first week of winter break, once Christmas was over of course, proved to be quiet and relaxing once Remus beat the prize money that was rightfully his out of Sirius. He had won the pool for the first day of snowfall.

This night found Lily reading one of the muggle novels that Sirius had given to Remus for Christmas. She was laying on the sofa as she read, relaxing from a long day of trying to control three very rambunctious seventeen year old males with Abby.

James was in his bedroom. He was staring at his ceiling, unmoving except for the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest. He was thinking about Lily at the moment. He had known that he had confusing feelings for her, but ever since Christmas Day, his feelings weren't so confusing anymore. When he woke up with her in his arms that morning, he felt at home. It felt right. He knew that he wanted her to feel the same way. He wanted to make her feel safe and at home.

James let out a small sigh. Who was he kidding? After the last disaster of a relationship there was no way that she would dive head first into another relationship.

There was a knock on the door, shaking James from his thoughts. "Come in," he called, still not moving.

Lily entered, taking in James' appearance. He was laying spread-eagled on his bed and was scruffy from not shaving at all that day. "Hey," she said.

It took all of his strength, but James managed to pull himself into a sitting position. "What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing, really…reading," Lily said, sitting on the foot of the bed. "Tired?"

James nodded. "I haven't really slept much," he said without knowing why he was telling her that.

"Why not?"

"What did you come in here for?" James asked, dodging the unwanted question.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go for a walk," Lily said. She moved closer to James. "But I'd much rather know why you haven't been sleeping."

"A walk sounds great!" said James, moving to get his shoes.

Lily grabbed James' arm to stop him and he sighed heavily.

"Please, Lily," James breathed.

Lily looked him in the eyes, not letting go of his arm. He was begging her to let it go, which was all the more reason for her to hold on. "James, you didn't give up on me, so I'm not giving up on you."

James' shoulders dropped and he started to get choked up. "What is it, James?"

"I dunno," James choked out.

"Ever since Christmas you've been distant," Lily observed. "Is it because of your family?"

James nodded. "Partly."

"Is it because of me at all?" Lily asked slowly. James looked up. "I mean…you know, waking up-"

"I loved that," James said without thinking. Then he continued on more slowly. "At that point, I hadn't really slept…not without waking up every single hour…not in a _very _long time. I feel at ease when I'm with you, Lily Evans. You give me this unexplainable feeling of security…I don't really know how to explain it any better than that."

Lily, who still had hold of James' arm, was silent. Her mind was racing as if she knew exactly what was about to happen.

"Lily, I know that you just got out of a completely horrible relationship, but…lets go to a late dinner, or something…right now."

"On…a date, do you mean?" said Lily. James nodded. "I have a better idea."

"What's that?"

Lily moved from the end of James' bed to the head, pulling him over to lay down with her, her arms finding their way around him. "You can get some sleep," she said. "A walk and a dinner could happen any time, but I'd like it if you got yourself a good night's sleep tonight."

James breathed in the scent of his long time love interest. Lily was running her fingers through James' soft black hair. Kissing the top of his head lightly, she began to hum what James guessed was a muggle tune. His eyes closed and he felt comfortable. And before he knew it, James was asleep.

When he awoke, Lily was still there. Wondering what this meant, James squinted over to the clock on his bedside table. It was nearly ten o'clock in the morning.

James got up slowly so that he wouldn't wake Lily. He leaned over her carefully to get his glasses. A small hand grabbed his wrist and a sleepy version of Lily's voice said, "Where you going?"

James smiled goofily. "It's nearly ten," he said.

"I'm still tired," Lily said, pulling James' covers over her head.

"I'll take the first shower," James offered, rolling off of the bed.

He left the room and Lily stayed hidden completely by the covers. She breathed in James' scent and sighed. By staying in James' room last night she had hoped to become less confused by morning. _What a stupid idea, Evans_ she thought. She had many reservations about diving into a new relationship after what she had just been through with Michael…

But James Potter truly cared for her, she knew that fact… And she cared a great deal for him as well. She was ecstatic that she made him feel so good that he could sleep better at night with her around. He had kind of sort of asked her out the previous night and she had kind of sort of said yes. Perhaps she needed to just follow her heart on this one, slowly but surely.

While Lily was having this mental battle with herself, Sirius and Remus were busy sneaking through the Heads' Common Room.

"That's Lily in the shower," Sirius whispered, seeing that Lily's bed was neatly made.

Remus nodded in agreement and moved with his friend toward James' half open bedroom door. "May I have the honors?" Sirius asked, still whispering.

Remus gave him another nod. He slowly pushed the door open and crept to the window. Sirius took a running start and dive-bombed the lump on James' bed, screaming, "BONZAI!" as Remus ripped open the curtains, letting bright sunlight pour into the bedroom.

Lily gasped in pain as Sirius pulled the covers from her head, still on top of her.

"SHIT!" Sirius shrieked when he saw the mop of red hair. He rolled off of Lily and stood next to the bed. "Lily, I am _so _sorry!"

"You are a _fucking_ cow, Black!" Lily shouted.

"I thought you-wait a minute! What in Merlin's name are you doing sleeping in James' bed?!"

Remus walked over to Sirius and said, "Do me a favor, Padfoot…pinch me." Sirius pinched Remus hard and the wolf yelped in pain. "Nope, not a dream."

"Lily! You dirty, _dirty_ little girl!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Nothing happened!"

"Oh, _right_," Remus scoffed. "Right, _nothing_ _happened_. That's why you're in Prongs' bed while your bed is so neatly made."

"Moony, I expected more of at least you," came James' voice from the doorway. He was still unshaven, towel around his waist.

"That would be my cue!" Lily said, tripping over the blankets as she attempted to run from the room.

Once the boys heard the shower turn on, they began to laugh. "You dove on her, didn't you?" James asked amusedly.

"I rightfully thought that the lump in _your _bed was _you_," Sirius said.

"Nothing happened."

"Do you _really _expect us to believe that, Prongs?" Remus asked.

"Remus, it's getting close to your time of the month," James said. "I'm going to excuse your behavior here this morning. Last night, Lily slept in my room, _slept _and nothing more. I kind of sort of asked her out, and I'm not sure what her answer really was. That's it and now if you would be so kind as to get the hell out, I'd like to get dressed."

The boys, shaking their heads and smiling, left James to get himself dressed. By 11:30 Abby, Sirius, Remus, a blushing Lily and a freshly shaven James were leaving the Heads' Common Room to go to lunch, which was counting as their breakfast.

James fell behind the rest of the group and, noticing this, Lily followed suit. "Sleep well?" she asked quietly.

With a small smile, James nodded. "Thank you," he said. "Listen…last night I-"

"Asked me out?" Lily finished the sentence for him. James nodded. "I…Michael was…no, this isn't about him." James looked so confused, so Lily took a deep breath and started over. "Slowly," she said. "I like the idea of being with you, but I would like to take it somewhat slowly."

James' smile grew tenfold. "Okay," he said. "Okay, I can do that." He held out his hand and Lily took it. The two caught up with their friends to be met with many, 'It's about damn time!'s.


	21. Chapter Twenty

_Thanks to all who have been reviewing._

**Chapter Twenty**

The rest of winter break passed without much incident. James and Sirius spent a lot of their time together plotting against the Slytherins and trying to get their friends to play in the snow every waking moment while said friends played multiple games of chess and Exploding Snap. Remus proved his worth as the Gryffindor Chess Champion by beating Lily and Abby even when they played two versus one.

January brought more snow to Hogwarts along with the return of all of the students and professor who had gone home. It also brought around Moony's time of the month, so as hundreds of students flowed into the Great Hall for dinner, Remus and Madame Pomfrey snuck out of the castle.

Lily and James sat together at the Gryffindor table, hand in hand. Other than Lily spending every night in James' bed since they began dating, their relationship hadn't changed too much. They held hands all of the time and sometimes shared quick kisses, but James had respected Lily's wishes and was taking it slow.

"Where are Sirius and Abby?"

"Hey, Pete!" James exclaimed with a smile. "So good to see you, buddy. How was Christmas?"

"It wasn't bad," said Peter. "Hello, Lily."

"I'm glad your holiday was good, Peter," Lily said with a smile. "I haven't seen either one of them all day."

Peter raised his eyebrows and James shrugged.

"How did Moony seem today?" Peter asked. He was always really worried about Remus pre and post full moon.

"He seemed to be alright."

Peter nodded, gathering food onto his plate for dinner. "So, Sirius wrote me an owl night before last," he said slowly. James raised his eyebrows at the smaller boy. Peter looked up at James. "It's about time, guys."

James' response was cut off by Deborah Stevens showing up at their table. "Hello, all," she said cheerfully. The three teens greeted her politely. "Don't mean to interrupt, but is Remus around?"

"No, actually," said Peter, not meeting Deb's eyes.

"He had a family emergency," said James. "He should be back in a couple of days."

"I'll tell him to find you when he gets back if you'd like," Lily offered.

Deb nodded," Thanks, guys. See you later."

James and Peter both sighed once Deb was out of ear shot. "Moony's going to hate this one," James said. Peter nodded in agreement.

"Why?" Lily asked. "From what I saw, Remus is quite smitten with Miss Stevens."

"Lily," said Peter, "he doesn't date because of his _condition_. He didn't even want a date to the dance in the first place, remember?"

"Yes, that I do remember, along with James' horrid joke."

"_Ha. Ha. Ha._"

---

"POTTER SCORES AGAIN! SIXTY TO TWENTY, GRYFFINDOR!"

There was a wild wave of cheering from most of the school as James beat Slytherin's Keeper for the forth time. He and the other two Chasers were on fire. Lily, who was sitting in the stands with Remus, Peter and Abby, was jumping up and down and carrying on like a madwoman.

Remus pulled her down by her cloak. "You're giving me a headache, Lily!"

The girl blushed. "Sorry, Remus," she said over the roar of the crowd. However, within seconds, she was back on her feet.

The Seekers were locked in a fierce race to the Snitch. The entire crowd held its collective breath. Without warning and with thanks to Sirius, a Bludger knocked Slytherin's Seeker off course.

"GRYFFINDOR CATCHES THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WINS! GRYFFINDOR WINS! _GRY-FIN-DOR WINS!_"

After the game, Peter wandered off toward a group of Hufflepuff girls while Remus, Lily and Abby made their way over to the entrance of Gryffindor's locker room.

"I'm going back up to the castle," Remus said. "I'll see you guys at dinner."

Abby waved goodbye to the boy as he turned and began to walk away. Lily turned to the girl and said, "I'm going to talk to Remus. Tell James, will you?" Abby nodded. "Thank you!"

Lily ran to catch up with Remus. By the time she did, he was halfway up the lawn to the castle. "Remus!" she called out.

Remus slowed to a stop and waited for the redhead to catch up. "Not waiting for James today?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Lily said simply.

"What about, my dear Lillian?"

Lily scrunched her nose at the taller-than-she young man. "Don't call me 'Lillian,' _you_!" she said. Remus chuckled a bit. "I wanted to know if you've talked to Deb yet."

"I have not…"

"Remus, it's been almost a week since she came to us at dinner."

"I'm aware."

"I just think-"

"Lily!" Remus cut her off, rounding on her. "I don't care what you think! There is _one _fact in all of this and _only _one fact. I. AM. A. MONSTER!"

Remus began to walk away from a stunned Lily, but she snapped to her senses quickly enough to cut him off.

"Remus Lupin, you are _not_ a monster!" she said. "You're a bright young man who has a condition that he can't help. If Deb is a human being, she'll understand."

"She'll be afraid of me."

"She will understand," Lily repeated firmly. "She has no reason to fear you. If you were a monster, I wouldn't be standing here. If you were a monster, you wouldn't have any friends. I've known monsters, Remus. You are a great man."

"You don't understand, Lily."

"Michael beat me, Remus," Lily said. Her heart was pounding in her chest, nevertheless she continued on. "Michael beat the _shit _out of me. _He _was a monster. _You_ would never do something like that…not to Deb and not to anyone else. You deserve a normal life."

Remus stared, openmouthed, at his small, fiery friend. "He…"

"Yes," Lily said, calming down now.

Remus wrapped Lily, without warning, into a big bear hug, squeezing the life out of her. She squeezed him right back.

"Moony, you molesting my girlfriend?"

Remus let Lily go and turned to see James approaching them, his trademark goofy grin in place. When he reached the two, he slipped one of his hands into Lily's and used his other one to shake Remus by the shoulder. "What's up?"

"Actually…I was just about to go find Deb Stevens," Remus said. "See you both at dinner." He left a confused James and a beaming Lily in his wake.

"How did you-"

"I'm just that good," Lily said, very proud of herself. "Good game today, captain." Lily stood on her toes and pecked James on the lips. James deepened the kiss without a thought and the two of them became lost in each other for quite some time.

---

Once James had run away to catch Lily, Sirius and Abby were left alone. They began to walk around the perimeter of the Quidditch Pitch, talking about this that and the other thing.

"Peanut butter and marshmallow fluff is _so _much better than peanut butter and jelly!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands to the sky.

"No way, Black," Abby said, teasing her boyfriend. "PBJ rules lives!"

"PBF!"

"PBJ!"

"_PBF!_"

"No way, Black!" Abby repeated.

Sirius tackled Abby to the ground and began to tickle her mercilessly. "Can't…breathe!" she gasped out.

"Which is better, dear?"

"PBF! PBF!"

Satisfied, Sirius rolled off of her, taking her hand in the process, and settled himself next to her. "That's better," he said.

"Lily's right," Abby said after a moment. "You are a cow."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh.

---

"Mischief managed," Remus whispered. As the Marauders' Map wiped clean he folded and pocketed it.

Deb was wondering the seventh floor and he assumed she was just taking a stroll. Using his Marauder knowledge of the castle, he was able to get ahead of her and take the same hallway in the opposite direction.

When she saw him walking her way, Deb waved timidly. Understanding that he had done a stupid thing by avoiding her, Remus smiled widely and waved back enthusiastically. He even broke into a little jog to meet up with her sooner.

"Hey, Deb! I've been looking for you since Quidditch."

"Really?" Deb said in shock. "It…it just seemed like you were avoiding me."

"No! Never!" Remus lied. "There's just been a lot going on at home this week and I've been a bit preoccupied. I'm really sorry I haven't come around to talk to you since Lily said you were looking for me."

"Oh, it's not a problem," Deb said. "Is everything alright? With your family I mean."

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Remus said quickly. "Well, no, but it will be. What did you want me for?"

"Oh, yes, er…" Deb fumbled with a button for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking at Remus. "I had a really nice time with you at the dance."

Remus smiled. "Thanks, I had a great time as well."

"Do you…would you want to…I dunno, maybe…maybe get together next Hogsmeade weekend?"

"I'd love to," Remus said simply.

"Really?! I mean…great!" Deb said. "I didn't think that the Great Remus Lupin would agree to something that's about as equal to a date as you can get."

"My appearances are deceiving, remember?"

Deb smiled and told him she needed to get back to her room to get some work done, so he said his goodbyes and she left him standing in the otherwise deserted seventh floor hallway.


	22. Chapter TwentyOne

**Chapter Twenty-One**

"James, that lunch was lovely," Lily said, kissing his cheek as they walked down the streets of Hogsmeade.

"You can thank Sirius, really," said James. "He gave that to me for Christmas."

The couple was getting ready to head back up to Hogwarts. They had only gone down to the village for a nice lunch and planned to spend the rest of the Hogsmeade Day alone together in the nearly deserted castle. As James said, the trips had lost their novelty years ago when they found the passage ways.

"Where do you suppose the others are?"

James shrugged and said, "No idea where Padfoot is dragging poor Abby. Remus took Deb to the café."

"I hope he's alright," Lily said. James nodded.

And he was. Remus was currently laughing at a joke of Deb's as he sipped his drink. "You're worse than Sirius!" he exclaimed once he could properly speak.

Deb chuckled softly and said, "I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult."

"Me either."

"So, Remus, now that you know the quirks of my extended family, it's your turn."

"Well," said Remus slowly, "my family…you've met all of my family." An eyebrow popped on the girl. "James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew," Remus expanded. "Lily and Abby are like sister-in-laws."

Deb looked somewhat confused, so Remus went in a bit deeper. "The guys have been more of a family to me than anybody. I mean, I love my mom and she loves me…it's just that sometimes things don't work out the way one would like them to."

"I see…what chances do I have of marrying into this little family of yours?"

Remus blushed deeply. "Would you like to eat with us tomorrow? We have an indoor picnic planned…"

Deb smiled wide. "I'd love to."

---

"James! I'm sure you remember me _not_ doing very well in flying classes first year," Lily whined, mounting James' Nimbus.

"Don't worry, Lily," James laughed. "If you fall off, I _promise_ I'll catch you."

"That does _not _make me feel good, Potter!"

"Just kick off!"

Lily did as she was told, clutching to the handle of the broom. She screamed as the broom flipped in midair. Shaking his head, James moved so that he was directly underneath her as she unwillingly slid off of the Nimbus. The broom gently floated to the ground as Lily dropped, still screaming, into James' arms.

"Told you I'd catch you," he said cheekily.

"You're an ass! I hate you," Lily said firmly, but without any effort to get down.

James kissed her nose and placed her down. "You said you wanted to try flying again."

"Shut up."

"I must say, Miss Evans, you are truly improving."

Lily and James both turned to see Dumbledore approaching and greeted the aging headmaster.

"Back from Hogsmeade early today?"

"Yes, sir," said James. "We had a nice lunch and then Lily said she wanted to try flying again, so here we are." He smiled at Lily and she whacked his arm. "That hurts, Evans."

Chuckling at the young couple, Dumbledore smiled warmly. "Getting down to business," he said. "As I am most certain you are aware, Valentine's Day is so close that I can taste the candy hearts." His smile grew as he imagined the taste of the candy. "The war is growing worse," he continued on, his smile faltering. "As of last night seventeen muggle homes were attacked." Seeing James and Lily's confused expression, he added, "It hasn't hit the Prophet yet.

"When the news _does _break, which I imagine would be by tonight's evening edition…well, you know how it goes, don't you? Lets liven things up, shall we?"

"You've got it, sir," said Lily. "Perhaps Mrs. Lupin would like to help us out again." She looked at James.

"With a lovely letter from me, who could _possibly_ say no?"

"You're head is large."

"Very good," said Dumbledore before James could get out a response. "Whatever you can do for the school would be great. I trust your judgment completely."

The old man winked at the two and turned to go back up to the castle.

James had his arms crossed and was frowning. Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "My head is _not _large," he pouted. Lily laughed and hugged her boyfriend.

James' arms snaked around her waste and he kissed her quite passionately.

It was nearly dark outside when James and Lily returned to their common room to clean up before dinner. Somehow, James had gotten her back on the broom and by the end of the afternoon she wasn't falling off anymore.

"Wait wait wait," James said, stepping in front of Lily as the knight opened the trap door to their rooms. Lily looked at him questioningly. "I'll go down first and then catch you."

Lily hit James hard in the chest and walked passed him, climbing down the ladder. When she reached the bottom, she was surprised to see Sirius sitting at the window. "Hey, Sirius," she said. He didn't acknowledge her presence. "Sirius?"

Lily moved to the window as James hit the ground a bit off balance. He looked up, unclasping his cloak, to see his best friend sitting in his window. "Hey, Padfoot!" he said. "What are you doing here?"

Sirius stayed silent, but this time he turned toward the pair. It was quite clear that he had been crying…but Sirius Black didn't cry. Not ever. Surely Lily's eyes were playing tricks on her.

James moved wordlessly to his long time friend and embraced him in a 'manly' hug. Lily took this scene in for a moment before deciding it would be best to just go down to the Great Hall without washing up first.

Remus was sitting in his usual spot at the long Gryffindor Table, staring over at where Deb Stevens sat, her back turned to him. Peter sat beside him, visibly shaking with laughter. Lily sat across from Peter and asked, "What's so funny?"

"Cupid has struck again," said Peter, snapping his fingers in front of Remus' face. "Look at that goofy look on Moony's face!"

Lily smiled at Remus. "Hey, Peter," she said a moment later, "where's Abby?"

"I'm not sure," Peter replied, still trying to get Remus' attention. "I haven't seen her since breakfast. Any reason, if you don't mind my nosiness?" He began to spread mashed potatoes onto Remus' forehead.

"Sirius," said Lily. "He was in my common room when James and I got back and he was crying."

Peter scoffed at the redhead. "Sirius doesn't cry."

"I know that," she shot back. "Why do you think I'm so worried?"

Lily watched Peter as the cogs turned in his brain and realization made its way to his facial features. "You don't think…no."

"I don't know," Lily answered.

"Come with me," Peter said, abandoning his decoration of Moony's face and popping up. Without giving a thought to dinner, Lily did as she was told.

Peter led her to the seventh year boys' dormitory in Gryffindor Tower. He had gone to the foot of Remus' bed and began to rummage through the love stuck werewolf's trunk. "What are you doing?"

"Remus had it last," Peter mumbled.

"Had _what_ last?"

"This." Peter straightened up and was holding an old bit of parchment. He walked up to a blank-faced Lily, taking out his wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"You guys are ridiculous with your rule breaking!" Lily exclaimed, though it was not in her usual authoritative tone. It was more like a tone of shock and awe.

"Abby Cook…Abby Cook…Abby…there she is!" Peter exclaimed, pointing. "She's in a classroom on the fifth floor."

He handed Lily the map. "Why me?"

"Take it in case she's gone when you get there and you can't find her," he explained, walking toward the door. "Oh," he said, turning back, "don't forget to wipe it when you're through. Just tap it with your wand and say 'mischief managed.'"

With that, Peter was gone and Lily was left alone in the dormitory. She had kind of hoped that he was going to go with her to find Abby, but oh well. She kept her eye on the map as she made her way toward Abby's dot.

The dot had not moved in the slightest by the time Lily made it to the fifth floor. She wiped the map just like Peter had instructed and pocketed it. Abby, according to the map, was alone in the room.

Lily knocked and did not wait for an answer before cracking the door open. "Abby?"

"You're lucky," came Abby's voice. Lily opened the door all the way and saw the girl lowering her wand. "You almost got yourself jinxed."

"Why?" Lily asked, closing the door behind her.

"I thought you were Sirius," Abby explained, motioning for Lily to take a seat. "I know that you're going to try to talk me out of this, but-"

"Slow down!" Lily exclaimed, hands up. "What am I going to try and talk you about of, exactly?"

"I broke up with Sirius. I thought he would have announced it to the world by now."

"He's not speaking," Lily said. "When I left he and James were just in the common room. No words…"

"Oh…"

"Why did you do it?"

"We got into an argument earlier," Abby said, but Lily wasn't convinced and gave one of her looks. "I don't want to get into it, Lily." She stood and began to pace. "It's not like it matters anyway. By next week he'll find another girl to hang from his arm."

"No he won't," Lily said knowingly.

"Yes, he will, that's what Sirius Black _does_!"

"He's in love with you," Lily said. "He won't bounce back from this."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Lily."

"Yes I do," said Lily. "He looks at you like James looks at me."

"Maybe James isn't in love with you," Abby countered. She brought a hand up over her mouth, appalled by what she had just said. "I'm so _so _sorry that I just said that," she said through her fingers. "Oh my God, Lils, I'm sorry…of _course _James loves you!"

"I think that you're very misguided," Lily said slowly. "Whatever caused this is probably stupid and you should think about it…what a stupid thing to say."

With that, the redhead left Abby to herself.

Later that night, Lily found herself in James' arms, but tonight they were in her bed. Sirius, not wanting to face Gryffindor Tower just yet, was sleeping in James' bedroom.

"James, are you awake?" Lily whispered. It was nearly two in the morning, but there was a question that was burning a hole in her heart and mind.

James muttered that he was indeed awake, but the mutter was a sleepy one. "Can I ask you a question?"

"'Course, darlin'. Anything…"

"Do you love me?"

James' eyes snapped open and, without his glasses, he let them focus on the redhead in his arms. "Weren't you the one who wanted to take it slowly?" he said.

"Are you avoiding the question?"

"Gods, Lily, no!" James said. "I love you more than you'll ever know. I've just kept it to myself because _you _wanted to take things slowly." He smiled and stared into her beautiful green eyes. "I love you, Lily."

Lily smiled. "I knew you did," she said. She kissed his lips softly.

"If you knew, why'd you ask?"

"Just something Abby said earlier," Lily said, brow furrowed a bit. "I said that I know Sirius is in love with her because he looks at her like you look at me, and she said that maybe you just weren't in love with me."

"What a stupid thing to say!" James exclaimed, hugging her closer to him.

"That's what I said."

Lily closed her eyes and James kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, beautiful."


	23. Chapter TwentyTwo

**Chapter Twenty-Two: "There's Something More To It…"**

"Attention, everyone!"

It was breakfast time, which meant that it was seven a.m., which meant that the headmaster did not have to fight for the silencing of his dear students.

"As you all have seen, we do seem to be enjoying our holidays this year," he began. "Friday is Valentines Day, and you all know I much I enjoy Valentines Day with those little candy hearts." Dumbledore paused, thinking fondly of the hearts. "Yes…your Head Students have organized a nice little event for the holiday. Send a Valentine to someone on a yummy candy heart! All you have to do is fill out one of these forms-" Dumbledore waved his hand and one form appeared on each of the students' empty plates "-and return it to either one of the prefects, the Heads or any of the professors by Wednesday evening. Thank you!"

With a clap of his hands, Dumbledore signaled the beginning of breakfast.

"Great idea, guys," Peter said, digging a quill out of his bag.

"Agreed," said Remus, placing the slip of parchment in his bag for later.

Sirius said nothing. He poked silently at his scrambled eggs for a few moments before standing and leaving without a single word. "He's been silent for too long…"

"Thanks, Pete, I didn't notice," James said sarcastically. He was taking Sirius' mood somewhat personally.

"James, don't snap at Peter," Lily said. "It's not his fault that Sirius is like that."

"Sorry, Wormtail," James mumbled. Peter raised his mug of tea to James and nodded. "I just can't stand seeing him like this!" James suddenly burst out. He buried his head in his hands.

"Neither can we, Prongs," Remus said sympathetically and Lily rubbed James' back in small circles.

"_He'll bounce back in a week_ my ass," Lily muttered, glaring in the direction of Abby. "I try not to hate her because I really liked her, but I can't believe this is happening to him…"

"Same here," said Peter. He was half-listening, half scribbling. "Here," he said, handing Lily the parchment slip.

Thanking him, Lily put it into a folder in her bag and then resumed her rubbing of James' back.

There was no change in Sirius' behavior by Wednesday. Even during Quidditch practice he wasn't really enjoying himself. He had all but moved into James' bedroom and in turn James had all but moved into Lily's.

Lily sat thinking about this on Wednesday night, waiting for the two to come back. She had some food from the kitchens waiting for them because she knew that they liked to eat after practice. It was also a bribe to make James work. They needed to get some of the candy hearts done.

Lily began to look through some of the parchment slips, reading the love confessions of her peers, when she came across handwriting she recognized as Abby's.

"_To Amos Diggory,_" Lily read under her breath. "_Thanks for the wonderful night a few weeks ago! Anonymous._ Does she really think that I am _that _dumb that I wouldn't recognize her damn handwriting?"

"Who's damn handwriting?" James had hit the ground under the ladder and Lily could hear Sirius following. Lily stuffed the parchment underneath her and said, "Er…Anna, that girl Peter's been hanging around with since Christmas."

"What did she have to say for herself?" Sirius asked.

Taken aback by the fact that he was speaking, it took Lily a moment to come up with an answer. "These are private, Sirius," she finally said.

"Aw, come on, Lily," Sirius pleaded. "It's only Peter."

"Alright, alright," said Lily, thinking fast. "She's asking Peter if they can start…er, officially dating."

"You're lying," Sirius said, after sizing her up. "I'm going to take a shower."

Once she had heard the shower water turn on and Sirius begin to sing, she handed James the parchment without him even asking for it. "I didn't know he was a tenor…" Lily said, commenting on Sirius' singing.

"Mmhmm…oh shit."

"Exactly," Lily said, biting her lip.

"Didn't Abby used to date Diggory?" James questioned quietly even though Sirius' singing could still be heard through the closed bathroom door.

Lily shrugged. "I think she may have mentioned it once," she said. "Unfortunately, the only one who would know is Sirius."

James sighed, rubbing his temple. "What do we do?"

"Our job."

"All you can think about is work?"

"No, I mean as _friends_."

"We can't tell him," said James.

"Can't tell me what?"

At that point, both teens mentally kicked themselves. They realized that there was no longer singing coming from the shower. Rather than getting into the shower, he had hung back to eavesdrop.

"Not a thing," James said.

"…Lily?"

James shook his head slightly and Sirius barked at him, "James, stay out of it. It's about Abby, isn't it, Lily?"

"Sirius, I don't know if you want to hear it…"

"Lily, I'm a big boy," Sirius said, advancing in naught but his towel around his waist. "What is it? Don't look at James."

Lily bit her lip. "Can you identify her handwriting?" Sirius nodded and shouted, "Do _not _look at James!"

Lily flinched and handed him the parchment.

"FUCK!"

Sirius stomped toward the ladder and left the room, leaving a speechless Lily and James shaking his head. "Yes, he just left here wearing only a towel," he said, answering Lily's unasked question. "I really wish you wouldn't have just done that."

"He would have found out anyway," Lily reasoned.

James sighed. "At least he would have been clothed," he said. "Come on, lets get some of this done. We have a long night ahead of us."

Sirius didn't seem to notice the fact that he wasn't wearing any clothes. He had stormed all the way up to the Gryffindor Common Room and was now facing not only his ex girlfriend, but a room full of surprised Gryffindors.

"Did you cheat on me?" Sirius said angrily, kicking the coffee table like it was at fault.

"Excuse me?" Abby said, taken aback by Sirius appearance.

"Did you fucking _cheat_ on me?" Sirius repeated in a deadly whisper, leaning toward her. His nose was a mere two inches from hers. "Did you cheat on me with your ex?"

Abby was beginning to get lost in his eyes like always and she tried to gain some control over the situation. Her attempts proved futile as he closed the space between them even more. "Did you?" he whispered.

Slowly, Abby nodded. It was the only thing that she could do. She had to make him leave, even if that meant hurting him. She needed him to move on. Everything that made her up regretted the decision the moment she saw the tears forming in those loving eyes…Lily was right about those looks, and Abby had known that long before any of this had happened.

Sirius closed the distance between the pair and gave Abby a soft kiss on the lips. When he pulled away, he whispered so that only she could hear, "I'm going to miss you, kid."

And then he was gone.


	24. Chapter TwentyThree

_There's a cute little scene in this one…_

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Thursday night brought the chatter of many excited teenage girls to Hogwarts. They were excited to see their hearts delivered to the boys they liked and to see if anyone sent one to them.

Lily was walking back from the library with Remus, both upset at not being able to get anything done. Even the librarian couldn't calm any of the chatting girls, nor could she get them to leave.

"So maybe this wasn't the _best _idea," Lily was saying.

Shaking his head with a smile playing on his lips, Remus said, "Even you couldn't have predicted that. They're-"

"Lily!"

Lily and Remus turned toward the familiar, yet unwelcome, voice. Abby Cook was jogging to catch up with them. When she did, Lily saw that she was holding a folded up piece of parchment.

"Can you give this to Sirius?" Abby requested, holding the parchment out to the girl.

Lily took it, staring at the girl. "I don't think that's the best idea." She dropped the parchment to the ground and walked away.

Remus bent down to retrieve the letter and handed it back to Abby. "She and James really do belong together," he commented. "We all want to protect him."

"Remus, please," Abby said, holding out the letter again. "Please give it to Sirius. I need him to understand…"

"Abby, you killed my friend," Remus said simply, but his tone was neutral.

"I know," Abby said. She was getting choked up and beginning to cry. "I know, and I regret every second of it. Please, Remus…just take it." Abby shoved the letter into his hands. "Whether you give it to him or not is up to you…I just need know that I tried."

Abby left the young man alone in the corridor holding a very crumpled piece of parchment. Once she had gone, Remus opened the letter. It wasn't his proudest moment, but he wasn't going to give it to Sirius if it was going to make things worse.

_Sirius, My Love…_

_I am so sorry that it had to be this way. When you came up to Gryffindor yesterday I realized that I've made a huge mistake._

_Before you throw this into the fire in anger, I want to come clean. I started the argument on purpose. I broke up with you because I thought I'd hurt you MORE if you knew the truth and I didn't want to do that. I didn't sleep with Amos Diggory. I haven't spoken to him since we broke up. The only reason I wrote that was because I knew that Lily would recognize my writing and pull it out. I wanted you to move on like you've done in the past. I wanted you to do what you always would have done…I didn't want you to know the truth._

_I realize now what a huge mistake that was. You had the right to know the truth from the beginning. Sirius, I was pregnant. I got pregnant and I freaked out. I terminated it and I didn't want you to know, but I couldn't be with you and lie to you about it either._

_I am so sorry for everything, Sirius._

_I love you._

Remus blinked a few times before realizing that his mouth was open. "Never a damn dull moment," he muttered, refolding the letter. Pocketing it, he headed for the Heads' Dorms, where he knew he'd find Sirius.

Sirius was sitting by the fire working on an essay for History of Magic when Remus entered the common room. "Where are James and Lily?"

"James went flying and Lily went down to find him," Sirius said, not looking up from his work.

"I've got something for you," Remus said, plopping onto the sofa. Sirius looked up. "It's a letter from Abby," Remus said, tossing it to Sirius.

"I don't want it," Sirius said, moving to put it in the fireplace.

"Yeah, you do, mate," Remus said.

Sirius looked at his friend, raising his eyebrows. "You read it, didn't you?" Remus nodded. "James and I truly do have an affect on you sometimes." Sirius unfolded the letter and began to read it. "Where's the Map?"

"James' trunk, I believe," said Remus. "He needed it for something or another earlier in the week."

Sirius jumped up, abandoning his History of Magic homework. Retrieving the map, he returned to the common room for his wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"Where is she?"

"By the lake," Sirius said, shoving the map in his cloak pocket after pulling it on. "Thanks, Moony."

"Don't mention it!" Remus called over his shoulder as Sirius climbed the ladder as quickly as he could.

Meanwhile, Lily was standing, leaning on a pillar, watching James fly around the pitch. It was dark. He didn't know that she was there until he floated to down to the brilliantly green grass where he had left a bottle of water.

"You really are good at that," Lily said after sneaking up behind him.

Turning to face her, he said, "You scared me, flower."

"Good," Lily said, sticking her tongue at him. Her arms snaked around his neck and she engaged him in a passionate kiss.

"Mmm," James said when she pulled back a bit, their noses still touching. "I love it when you do that."

"You love it when I do that…" Lily repeated, kissing him briefly again. "You love me then?"

"I love you then."

"I love you too," Lily said. It was the first time she had actually said it back to James, and he smiled like a fat kid in a candy store.

"You love me too," he said, closing the distance between them.

---

Sirius had run out onto the grounds only to slow to a pace that could barely be considered a crawl once Abby came into sight. Sirius bit his lip, not sure exactly what he wanted to get accomplished by coming out here so quickly.

Sirius became Padfoot as his confusion mounted. He trotted over to the girl as a dog. She had never seen him in his animagus form, so maybe this would be easier on him.

Padfoot rubbed up against Abby, who was sitting near the lake. She jumped, but calmed down when she realized it was only a dog. "You're a big boy, aren't you?" she said, scratching behind the dogs ears. He licked her cheek. "Aw, and you're friendly too."

Padfoot laid down and put his head in Abby's lap as she continued to scratch his head. "I wish I could be a dog," Abby said absentmindedly. "I think things would be easier that way…

"I ruined everything, pup," she went on. "I had a great relationship with someone who was probably the greatest guy I have ever met. He treated me so well…and how do I repay him? I cover up an abortion by pretending I cheated on him with my ex boyfriend."

Abby sighed, laying down. "I love him so much," she said to Padfoot. "I love him so much…he loved me too. He probably hates me now…"

"He doesn't hate you."

Abby shot up to find Sirius laying down, head in her lap. "MERLIN! WHAT THE HELL-"

"Shh! Quiet! It's after curfew," Sirius said, placing a finger on Abby's lips.

"What th-"

"Animagus," said Sirius. "That we can talk about later."

"W…okay," Abby said. "What are you doing down here?"

"Remus gave me your letter," Sirius said, sitting up.

"I didn't think he would," Abby said truthfully.

"He wouldn't have if he hadn't read it first," Sirius said, shrugging. "Listen," he went on, before Abby could say anything about Remus, "why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?"

Abby bit her lip. "Sirius," she began, "I knew you'd want to keep it, and I'm not ready…I can't…I can't do that."

Nodding, Sirius said, "I understand that."

"You do?"

Sirius nodded again. "I just kind of wish…I don't know…I wish you would have been honest with me about it from the beginning. Amos Diggory is going to be waking up with green skin in the morning…that's not the point though. The point is that you should have told me.

"Yes, I would have wanted you to keep the baby. Yes, I am very upset that you terminated…but ultimately, Abby, it's your decision. It's your body…you…you should have come to me."

Abby began to cry as Sirius went through his little speech. When he looked up from his thumbs and saw her tears he stood on his knees and brought her to him. Abby buried her face in Sirius' chest and held onto him as if her life depended on it.

"We could have worked through this together, love," Sirius whispered, rubbing Abby's back. "We could have worked through this…"

"I'm sorry, Sirius," Abby sobbed into his chest. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do. I was scared…I was so, _so_ s-s-scared."

"Shh…" Sirius began to rock her back and forth. "Shh…it's alright, love. It's all going to be alright. We're going to get better…we're going to get better."


	25. Chapter TwentyFour

**Twenty-Four**

James was laying in Lily's bed, running his fingers through his girlfriend's hair absentmindedly. All of his things were in this room now seeing as Sirius and Abby had just moved into James' old bedroom. It was an unspoken thing that started with when they broke up. The night that they had gotten back together Sirius had brought her back to that room and ever since then they had just been living there.

Neither James nor Lily really cared. They only needed one room anyway. They were both just glad that Sirius and Abby had gotten back together and were working together to make it all better.

It seemed to James that life was finally starting to come together. He had Lily, Sirius had Abby, Remus had Deb as of Valentines Day, and Peter had Anna. It seemed that things were finally starting to make sense…and he was feeling happy.

"James, why are you still awake?" a very sleepy Lily asked, squinting at the clock. "It's nearly three a.m."

"Not sleepy, love," James said quietly, smiling. "You're pretty."

"Oh yes, I'm sure I'm _quite_ attractive right now," Lily said sarcastically laying her head on his chest.

"I'm not lying."

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," said James. "I'm fine so long as you're right here with me." He kissed the top of Lily's head. "Go back to sleep."

"Only if you go to sleep too."

"Deal."

The morning brought sleepy mutters and misplaced orange juices to the Great Hall. Remus was drinking from the wrong mug and didn't realize it until he was halfway through drinking the jelly. "Ew."

"Way to be, Moony," Sirius said through a yawn.

"Mondays should be done away with," Abby said, catching the yawn.

"Yes, but then we'd just hate Tuesdays," Lily reasoned. "Then once you do away with Tuesday, you have Wednesday to hate…it'll never be solved."

"Oh…shut up," Peter mumbled. "I am _not_ in the mood for Arithmancy today."

"No one is," said Remus.

The post owls swooped into the Hall, effectively leaving feathers to float down into the oatmeal of unsuspecting students and professors. As usual Remus caught his Daily Prophet and began to look at the headlines. This had been his routine ever since the war had begun.

"Oh no," he muttered as James was splashed in the face with oatmeal thanks to a large barn owl. "Not again."

Lily, who was sitting directly across from Remus, seemed to be the only one that heard him. She stared intensely at her young friend's pale face as his eyes darted back and forth, scanning the front page.

At the same time, James was opening a letter with shaking hands. He knew what it was going to say to him before he even scooped it out of his breakfast. Lily's head snapped around as she heard the tear of the envelope. James pulled out the official Ministry Letter; the Ministry Letter that one was _supposed _to receive _before_ the news graced the pages of the Daily or the Evening Prophet…

The seventh years all stared at James. They knew the news…they knew that the letter would read: _Dear Mr. Potter, We regret to inform you…_

They knew it would be his sister.

She had been the only family that he had left.

Lily didn't know what to do, so she continued to hold her breath as she stared at her boyfriend as he read the letter. His face was giving away very little information. Once he was through, he placed the letter back into its envelope and the envelope on the table. James stood, turned and left the Hall at a normal pace.

"Lily, go," Sirius instructed. He was not asking her to follow him, he was demanding it.

Lily bit her lip, but nodded, knowing he was right.

Once James had made it out of the Great Hall he broke into a run. He needed to get away, he had to get away _now_. He ran, not knowing where his feet were going to carry him…not _caring_ where his feet were going to carry him.

Unsurprisingly they took him to the Astronomy Tower which was completely deserted, seeing as it was so early in the morning. James threw himself into the corner of the room and let himself go. He cried, hard, his knees pulled to his chest and his face buried in them.

Why did this war keep kicking him while he was down? Was any of it ever going to end? No…not as long as Voldemort was around. And even if he wasn't, the hatred would still linger. No matter what happened people were going to die. There was always going to be people dying, suffering, and for what? What was the purpose?

There was none. The deaths were senseless, the pain unnecessary.

"James?"

He didn't look up. He didn't try to compose himself. He didn't need to. He knew that voice. He knew that Sirius, Remus or Peter wouldn't dare follow him because he would hex them so badly that their future grandchildren would feel it…but Lily…Lily could do anything and he wouldn't dare raise his voice, much less hex her.

He felt her hand rest on his as Lily slid down the wall to sit next to him on the cold stone floor. She said nothing. She took his hand and held it in her two smaller ones on her lap. After many minutes, James laid down, head resting on Lily's thigh, facing her stomach. He was still holding her hand and he was still crying.

Lily did something that none of the guys would have ever understood enough to do, in James' opinion. She let him be.

Meanwhile, in the Great Hall, Professor Dumbledore had made his way down to the Gryffindor table. Sirius, Remus, Peter and Abby all stared at him.

"Whenever it is that you next see Mr. Potter or Miss Evans, please send them to my office," he said kindly to the seventh years. "If Mr. Potter refuses, as he is likely to, then someone should come to get me and I will go to him."

"Sure thing, sir," said Peter. The other three nodded.

"Thank you," said the old man. "It is in times like these that the bonds that you all have created must remain strong. Remember that."

And he was gone.

While the others attended class for the day, their minds obviously elsewhere, James and Lily just stayed in the Astronomy Tower. They were there until nearly two thirty when Lily finally spoke.

"Would you like to go down to the common room?" she asked gently.

"Everyone can get in there," James said, his voice raspy.

"We can go in my room," Lily said, moving some of his hair from his eyes. "You can put one of those nifty locking charms on the door and they won't bother you."

James had agreed and the couple had been locked inside of Lily's room ever since. It was now nearing dinnertime.

"I'll be right back," Lily said, sliding from underneath James.

"Where are you going?" James asked, his tone indescribable.

"Just to the bathroom," she answered with a sad smile. "I'll be right back."

James nodded and let Lily out of the room, locking it again as soon as she closed the door behind her.

Sirius was sitting alone in the common room when Lily had exited her bedroom. He looked over at her and smiled, heart heavy. "How is he?" he asked, though it wasn't a necessary question.

Lily shook her head at him, biting her lip as she entered the bathroom. Once she was back in the common room, Sirius said, "The others have all gone down to dinner." He sighed. "I can't eat…it's, er…it's a damn waste." Tears were forming in his eyes. Lily walked over and hugged Sirius.

"Dumbledore wants to see you guys," Sirius said, composing himself. "He says if James won't go up to his office, I'm to bring him down here."

Nodding, Lily said, "I'll tell James."

As predicted, James refused to leave the bedroom, so Dumbledore ventured down to the Heads' Dormitories. When James wouldn't unlock the door, he simply waved his hand and the door swung open.

"You must remember, James, that I have many years on you," Dumbledore said as he entered. He transfigured Lily's stool into an armchair and took a seat.

Lily sat James up and took hold of his hand again, giving it a small but reassuring squeeze.

"First," said Dumbledore, "I want you to know how sorry I am, James. Pamina was a brilliant witch, and her loss is taking a toll on many hearts." James nodded silently. "The Ministry wants to make sure that you know that you are now the sole heir to everything of your family's." Another nod, but this time it wasn't accompanied by silence.

"Why?" James asked. "Why my parents? Why my sister? Why is my entire family gone?"

"James, I had hoped that it wouldn't come to this, you must understand that." Dumbledore rubbed his temples for a moment and Lily noticed exactly how much of a toll this war was taking on the old man in front of her. "I am partly responsible."

"…what do you mean?"

"James, your family wasn't killed by chance," Dumbledore began. "It wasn't random. They were killed because they worked for me."

"What?" both Lily and James exclaimed.

Dumbledore nodded. "The Order of The Phoenix is a secret organization dedicated to taking Voldemort down," he said. "The Ministry has never gone about this situation the right way, and so we at The Order have taken it upon ourselves to act. Your parents were killed because they were exposed as members. Shortly after she recovered from that attack, your sister joined us in our fight for all that is good. He knew she was a threat from the beginning…"

"You let her go out and fight instead of protecting her?!" James shouted, jumping to his feet. "It's _your_ fault!"

"James, I-"

"You could have _protected _her and she'd still be alive!"

Lily stood, placing her hands on James' shoulders and pulling him back into a sitting position.

"James, it-"

"I want in," James said suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"I want to join The Order," James expanded. "This war has taken my entire family and I am not taking that without doing something about it."

"James, I will _not_ allow you to join The Order," Dumbledore said sternly. "You are a Hogwarts Student."

"I want to join, Dumbledore," James said equally as sternly.

"Come to me after you graduate, James," Dumbledore said. "That is the only way I will even consider it." James didn't like it, but he knew he wouldn't get anywhere with the headmaster, so he nodded.

"I want in as well," Lily piped up. "After graduation, I'm joining with James."

"I beg you both to consider everything that it means to be a part of this war," Dumbledore said wearily.

"We already _are_ part of this war, Dumbledore," said James.

Nodding, Dumbledore said, "This discussion is over until June."

Both teens nodded.

"Again, James, I am sorry for your loss," the old man continued. He stood, transfiguring Lily's stool back into its original form. "You are excused from classes for the week. Miss Evans, you are welcome to stay with him if he so desires. Make sure you catch up on your work."

As Dumbledore closed the door behind him, James jumped to his feet and began pacing back and forth.

"How could they not tell me?!" he eventually burst out. "How could Pamina not tell me once they died?! How could Dumbledore not…"

"Stop shouting at me, James," said Lily calmly. "I am not the enemy here. I'm on your side."

James rounded on her. "You are _not _joining!" he said.

"Excuse me?"

"You can't join." James sat next to her. "You can't join," he repeated. "I can't lose you too…I lost…I lost them all." He was getting choked up and was now beginning to cry.

Lily guided him into a laying position, his head in her lap, and began to rub his back soothingly. Sighing, she said, "We'll talk about it in a few months, okay?" James nodded. She took his hand in hers. "Okay."


	26. Chapter TwentyFive

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

It had been a week since Pamina's death and James had not even thought about leaving Lily's room except to use the bathroom. Lily was worried. Sirius was worried…they all were. It was Monday night that found Sirius and Lily alone in the common room, sipping butterbeer and silently wondering what the other was thinking about.

When the bedroom door creaked open they both whipped around to watch as James walked out. He stopped for a moment and looked at his best friend and his girlfriend, sitting there together, both obviously worried about him.

He did something unexpected and walked toward them, plopping down between the two on the couch and grabbing a butterbeer bottle from the coffee table. "Evenin'," he said quietly.

"Hey, mate," Sirius said, attempting to smile. "Good to see you out…"

James nodded.

Lily placed her hand on his knee as she kissed him on the cheek. This made him feel more at ease at being outside of the bedroom. He felt so much safer closed away from everyone in the dark, but she made him feel better…she always made him feel better.

"Will you be going to class tomorrow?" Sirius asked tentatively.

"I suppose I should," James said, barely above a whisper. "I've probably missed loads…"

"Nothing that you can't catch up on easily, I'm sure," Sirius said. "And…anything for Quidditch this week?"

"I dunno…"

"You may feel a bit better if you take to the air, don't you think?" Lily suggested.

James shrugged and said, "I suppose so. Tell the team we have practice tomorrow night at six and I'll book the pitch. I want you to run practice."

"Sure thing, Prongs," said Sirius, smiling. He drained his butterbeer and stood. "I'll go post it in Gryffindor now that way they don't have any excuses."

The Quidditch Practice that Sirius had come up with was a simple scrimmage. One Chaser and one Beater were on each team. Both teams shot on the one Keeper and James played Seeker along with the regular Seeker to make the teams even.

James was grateful to his friend for taking this on and allowing him to fly around, detached from everything else…

Unbeknownst to James, Lily was watching from the stands. She had rushed through the Prefects Meeting so that she could come down to observe the practice. While Quidditch wasn't necessarily Lily's 'thing,' she was worried about James and wanted to see for herself if Quidditch would really do him any good.

As practice wore on, it began to rain. It was beginning to get so bad that James couldn't see. He flew down to Sirius and told him to end the scrimmage.

Lily ran down to where the locker room was holding her cloak over her head. When James exited the locker room and saw her, he actually smiled.

"You're completely soaked," he observed. "I don't know why you're even bothering with the cloak."

Smiling at her boyfriend, Lily lowered the cloak. She allowed the rain to hit her face full force as she shut her eyes and threw her head back.

"Feel like going for a walk?"

"James, it's _pouring_!" Lily shouted over the pounding of the rain.

"So what? You're already wet."

"You have a point, dear," Lily said thoughtfully. Her smile widened as he offered her his arm. She linked with him and the couple began to walk on the slippery grass of the Hogwarts grounds.

Suddenly, after they had been walking in silence for some time, James let go of Lily and dropped to the ground, laying on his back. Shrugging, Lily followed suit, eyes closed as the rain beat into her face once again. She shivered and snuggled close to James, who drew her even closer with his arm, kissing the top of her head.

"Why are we outside and laying in the mud and grass in the freezing rain, love?" Lily questioned.

"Because it's peaceful," James answered simply. "Everyone else is inside the castle. Inside it's stuffy and noisy and…I just feel so trapped. Out here it's perfect."

Accepting this, Lily tried another question…the one that she was out there to learn the answer to in the first place. "How are you?"

James sat them up and looked at her. His hair was plastered to his forehead and his glasses were foggy. Lily couldn't help but think about how completely adorable he looked at that moment.

"I'm…I'm outside. I'm wet. I'm cold…I'm the best I've been as of late because I've got you next to me being a good sport about being cold and wet." He smiled earnestly. "You're all I've got left now, Lily," he said, nodding slightly to himself. "The guys are my brothers, but you're the one who understands me better than anyone. Yo…I'm rambling, aren't I?"

Chuckling a bit, Lily nodded. "Just a little," she said. "But I get what you're trying to say…and you're not stopping me from joining."

"Lily-"

"We agreed to talk about this after graduation," Lily said, finality in her tone.

James bit his lip but nodded. "I love you," he said. She nodded and kissed his nose lightly. "I love you so much." Tears were falling from his eyes, but with the rain Lily couldn't tell. He really did feel that she was it, she was the person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, be it short or long. He had no family left now, and so he wanted to make her his family.

But no, he couldn't tell her that…not now. Not in the cold rain…not at Hogwarts…not when they'd been together for such a short time…not when he had just lost his sister and was going through things he didn't even pretend to understand…not when the Wearing World was at war.

"I love you too," Lily said. She ran her fingers through his hair and it stood up nicely.

James shook his head like a dog-or like Sirius would at any random point during his day-and his hair eventually fell flat again thanks to the pouring rain. "Lets go," he said. "You're soaked and shivering."

"It doesn't matter!" Lily exclaimed, suddenly jumping to her feet. A surprised James was knocked off balance and was now leaning on his elbows. "I'm already wet anyways! Who cares?!"

Without warning, Lily ran full force, slipping up on the wet grass a bit. James watched, quite confused, as his very strange girlfriend dove headfirst into the lake.

"What just happened?" he asked himself aloud. Lily resurfaced, laughing.

"JUMP IN, JAMES!" the redhead shouted as loud as she could. "THE WATER IS _FREEZING_! JUMP IN!"

James laughed a bit and shrugged. He stood and ran as fast as he could manage to the lake and jumped in after Lily. He took a cannonball into the water. Lily looked around her, waiting for him to resurface. Before she knew what was happening, she felt something wrap around her ankles and pull her under.

James resurfaced, laughing hard. When Lily resurfaced as well, she splashed him, shouting, "YOU JERK!"

She swam over to James, who was still laughing like mad, and jumped upon him, trying to dunk him.

Albus Dumbledore stood watching this whole scene from the castle. Ignoring the fact that being in the lake was a violation of school rules, the headmaster was smiling.

These were the types of moments that made such an uphill battle worth fighting. The war had always taken a toll on the old man, but as of late it had just been getting worse. The enemy was growing in number everyday, most of them were coming from right under Dumbledore's proverbial wing…the Slytherins. The deaths were becoming more violent and it was happening more often.

As much as Dumbledore hated to admit it, James Potter and Lily Evans would be a great asset to The Order. They were powerful, he couldn't deny that. Yes, they would be an asset.

And along with Lily and James, the headmaster knew, would come Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Wherever James would go, they would follow, just as it had been since day one of their first year.

Dumbledore had watched these young men and this young woman grow and learn for nearly seven years. He had once seen a youthful hope for the future in their eyes. Sadly, that was gone now, especially for James Potter. They all had lost something in that war, some more than others.

The old man smiled sadly, turning away from the window. Who was he to deny them the chance to do something about it? No…no, he would allow them to fight. They were no longer the children he once knew. No…they had grown up and they knew exactly what they were facing. And whether or not Dumbledore wanted to let them, they'd do something about it anyway.

_This was a somewhat short chapter, I apologize. In the middle of it the fire alarm went off in my building...it's freezing cold outside, after midnight...stupid dormitory. Anyway, I apologize for the length. Also, I will be leaving to go home, which is an eleven hour train ride...shoot me. The updating may be slow for the next week or so while I am at home, but once I come back to School it will be the same as it has been. Sorry in advance. Thank you for reading and thank you for reviewing._


	27. Chapter TwentySix

_So everyone in the house has turned in for bed. It's good to be home...right now I'm hanging out with my dog. He says hello. Anywho, I found the time to post this for all you lovely readers...enjoy._

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Padfoot was curled up by the fire in the Heads' Common Room. He was snoozing in his dog form simply because that is what he did when he didn't feel like dealing with anything. His slumber was disturbed when two very wet teenagers stumbled into the room, laughing and joking with each other.

The shaggy dog opened one eye to see his two friends. They were dripping water all over the carpet. Padfoot barked happily and rested his head once again on his paws. It was good to see James that happy, he thought.

"Come here, Padfoot!" Lily called to the dog.

Padfoot growled playfully at the girl and stretched as he got up. He ran full force at the girl and knocked her backwards and right into James, who fell to the floor with the pair on top of him.

"PADFOOT! GET OFF!"

Abby emerged from the bedroom that was formally James'. "Sirius, love, would you be a dear and get off of Lily and James, please?"

The dog happily left Lily and James to jump over to Abby. He licked her hand enthusiastically before trotting back over to the fireplace and laying down once again.

"He is _so_ strange," Lily muttered, standing. She offered a hand to James which only resulted in her being pulled back on top of him.

Abby laughed at the couple. "At least yours stays in his human form," she said to Lily. "Sometimes I wake up with a dog at the foot of the bed."

"Very tr-" James transformed before Lily could finish her sentence. The next thing she knew she was riding on the back of a beautiful stag into her bedroom. "Bye, Abby!" she called over her shoulder.

Prongs let Lily slide off of his back and onto the bed before transforming back into James. He fell onto his back next to Lily, staring at the ceiling and taking hold of her hand.

Abby and Padfoot were busy playing tug of war with a sock when Peter and Remus entered the common room some time later. Both of them shared a look of a very strange nature before taking seats on the sofa. Once he had gotten the sock away from his girlfriend, Padfoot transformed into Sirius and took the sock out of his mouth.

"What's up?" he asked as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

"Where'd we find you?" Remus inquired, shaking his head in disbelief. "Honestly, you're not normal."

"Neither are you, hairy," Sirius said pointedly.

James exited Lily's bedroom when he heard Remus' voice and was now standing there with his arms crossed watching Sirius and Remus go back and forth.

"Look who's talking about hairy, Padfoot," Remus said. He pointed to the carpet where Sirius had been sleeping in his dog form. "You're shedding!"

"My pillow is in one piece!" Sirius countered. "I've never _eaten_ it before."

"Those are bad dreams!" Remus said, raising his voice in defense. "I think you've got a piece of _sock_ in your teeth, Fido."

"Do _not _call me that!" Sirius stopped for a moment and picked a piece of fuzz from his tooth. "You are so dead, _Moony_!"

Sirius jumped up and upon Remus. The two rolled off of the couch swatting at each other like five year old girls fighting over a Barbie Doll.

"Break it up, fellas," James said, chuckling as he pulled Remus off of Sirius. "Lets try to act our age for a moment, eh?"

Abby was laughing hysterically, holding onto Peter so as to not fall off of the couch.

"He started it!" Sirius said huffily.

"Don't make me put you in the corner for the rest of the night, Sirius!" Lily shouted from the bedroom. "I'll do it!"

"Fine!" Sirius wailed, throwing his hands in the air. He stood and then stomped into what was now his bedroom, slamming the door shut.

"What just happened?" Peter asked James, who had let Remus go. Remus walked over to the fire, sat in the armchair and began to read a book that he removed from his bag.

"Not a clue," James said. "She alright?" he asked, pointing to Abby. She was still laughing and it looked like she was having trouble breathing.

Peter looked at the girl for a moment before turning back to James. "She's dating Sirius."

---

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs strike again!" Sirius exclaimed as the aforementioned group made their way through the dark deserted corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft And Wizardry. "Good to have you back!" He slapped James on the back.

"Shut _up_, Padfoot!" James hissed angrily. "You're going to get us _caught_, you idiot."

"Sorry," Sirius whispered, a large smile still plastered onto his face. It had been too long since they had snuck out to do some dirty work together, all four of them.

"Lets get this done before Padfoot has another outburst," Remus muttered, stopping. They had reached the Great Hall. "Alohamora."

The large doors creaked open just enough for the four boys to squeeze through, one by one. Quickly making their way to the Slytherin table, they set to work.

"Sometimes," Peter said quietly, spreading a sticky substance onto the benches, "the simplest muggle pranks are the best pranks."

As Peter and Sirius went alone all of the benches spreading the substance, James and Remus followed them, wands in hand, performing a bit of charms work.

The morning brought four very excitable seventh year Gryffindors down to breakfast earlier than they normally would have made it, along with two very unexcitable Gryffindors. Lily and Abby were looking quite confused as the four boys ate their oatmeal happily rather than falling asleep in it.

As a group of Slytherins entered the Hall, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs sat at attention. Understanding entered the girls' minds as they saw what the boys were staring at.

"What did you do?" Lily asked softly so as to not be overhead.

"Charms homework," said James, his eyes not leaving the Slytherins who were now taking their seats. "Touchdown!" he said, giving Sirius a high five.

"Our Charms homework was to show an everyday application for two different charms," Abby said slowly. "What exactly were yours, boys?"

"The Concealing Charm and a nifty little charm that we found out about that is usually used to keep bread fresh or something like that," Sirius said, an evil smile playing on his lips.

The conversation was cut short by the post. Professor Flitwick was startled when an owl landed on Professor McGonagall's head and began to hoot at him. The tiny professor stood on his seat and took the note from the bird, which promptly flew out of the hall.

_Professor Flitwick,_

_Ask the Slytherins to stand up._

_Concealing Charm and a Freshness Charm_

_Much Love!_

_The Marauders_

Flitwick handed Professor McGonagall the note and the boys laughed as they saw the look on her face. Shaking her head, she stood and called for silence. "Would all of the Slytherins please stand for a moment?" she requested.

They tried and failed.

"Misters Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin in my office after breakfast, please," she continued when she saw that the Slytherins had effectively been glued to their benches.

James, Sirius, Peter and Remus were cracking up.

"What did you do?" Lily asked again.

"You know that muggle stuff called Gorilla Glue?" Remus asked.

Lily nodded. "It's like…the strongest glue made…why?"

"We gorilla glued the Slytherins to the benches," Sirius said, proud of the achievement. "_And_," he went on, "we got our Charms homework done at the same time!"

"That's special, Si," Abby said, rolling her eyes but smiling all the same.

When the Marauders left Professor McGonagall's office for Potions nearly an hour later, they had not only another detention to serve out, but a perfect score on their last Charms assignment.

Mission Accomplished


	28. Chapter TwentySeven

_My dog is having a bad dream...but look at how good I am: I found a bit of time for a new chapter. I hope that you enjoy it...I'm going to go wake my dog up and eat oreos. Love._

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Sunday mornings…could anyone _not _sleep in on a Sunday morning? No, it was impossible. Waking up before eleven a.m. on a Sunday morning was simply against the laws of a seventeen year old…even one such as Lily Evans who could wake up at six a.m. the next day and be just fine with that.

He didn't know how she did it.

James was laying in bed propped up on his elbow. With a small smile playing on his lips, he was watching his love sleep soundly. She was so incredibly beautiful when she slept, he thought.

He loved to watch Lily as she slept. It was like nothing could touch her…the war couldn't touch her. There were no worried glances, sad moments, fear…not while she slept. James truly missed the days when their biggest worry was sleeping in on a Sunday morning or how they were going to make the Slytherins miserable through embarrassment.

His first few years here were so worry free. Nothing could touch them, much like Lily when she slept…everything was alright…

"What're you starin' at?" Lily's sleepy voice shook James from his thoughts, and he smiled.

"Good morning, flower," he said, kissing her nose.

"You watchin' me sleep?" Lily asked through a yawn. James nodded. "That's creepy."

He laughed. "I can't help it," he said. "You're just too beautiful. I can't keep my eyes off of you."

Lily mustered up all of the strength that she could and attempted to push James off of the bed. He didn't even budge, so she just rolled over.

"Now that's not fair!" James protested. He reached over and pulled her to him, kissing her neck as he did so. "You can't deprive me, love!" he whispered. "I'd be a broken man."

"You're an addict," Lily stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "I think you need to be rehabilitated."

"Nope," James said, shaking his head. "I'd never be able to kick the habit. Looks like I'll just have to overdose, eh?"

"That can be arranged," Lily said in a low tone, rolling over to face him. She had an evil looking smile on her face as she pulled James in…

---

"Where are James and Lily?"

"They haven't come out yet," Sirius answered as he and Abby sat side by side and across from Remus and Peter. "Frankly, I don't really want to know why."

"…right," said Remus. "Anyway, what are you two up to today?"

"Sirius needs to write his Potions essay, don't you Sirius?" Abby said pointedly.

"Yes, ma'am," Sirius said, hanging his head.

"We'll be in the library where I can make sure that he's actually doing it. And after this there will be not _one more_ last minute assignment…_right_, Sirius?"

"Right."

Peter was cracking up as he put his plate together. Remus was shaking his head. "I've been trying to get him to stop procrastinating for years," he said to Abby. "It's been a losing battle since year one."

"Oh, I think we've come to an understanding," said Abby. Sirius nodded sulkily. "Anyway, what are you doing today?"

"Not much," said Peter. "Probably studying for a while. Arithmancy has been intense lately and I need to do better."

"I need to as well," said Remus. "However, Deb is _way_ more interesting than Arithmancy."

"Words I never thought I'd hear coming out of your mouth, my dear Moony," Sirius said happily. "I'm just so happy for you!" Without warning, he leapt up, propelling himself across the table to hug Remus who fell backwards and hit his head on the cold hard floor.

"Ouch! SIRIUS!"

"My little Remus is growing up!" Sirius exclaimed, not moving off of the other boy.

"Sirius, GET OFF ME!"

"Don't you wonder about his sexuality sometimes?" Peter asked Abby.

"Nope," Abby said, biting into her sandwich.

"But he's always-"

"Nope."

"But-ew."

"Yep."

"SIRIUS!"

"Sirius, love, off." Sirius gave Remus a sloppy kiss and climbed off of him to go sit next to Abby.

"Why?!" Remus exclaimed, slamming his fist on the table as he wiped Sirius' spit off of his cheek. "WHY ME?!"

"Because I love you more than the stars, the moon! I love you more than life itself!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically.

Remus growled angrily while Peter and Abby laughed hysterically.

James and Lily finally surfaced later that afternoon in the library. They spotted Abby and Sirius sitting at one of the tables, Sirius working on his Potions essay and Abby reading a novel. Sirius looked pained as he scratched his head, trying to think of something to write.

"Hey, guys," James said quietly as he and Lily took seats at the table.

"Good morning, kids," Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Abby put her book down and whispered harshly, "No speaking!"

Frowning, Sirius went back to his essay, mumbling, "I'm finishing the conclusion."

"Shh!"

James chuckled quietly. "Nice, Abby," he said. "Real nice."

"Done!" Sirius exclaimed rather loudly, earning him a death glare from the librarian. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Lets go before he gets his vocal chords ripped out, shall we?" Abby said, putting her book and Sirius' essay into her bag.

Once they were out in the hallway, Sirius said, "So where have _you_ been?"

"Bed," said James.

"_Sleeping_," Lily added quickly, blushing.

Sirius began to laugh wildly. "You're a dirty liar!" he howled. "James and Lily did the funky!"

"Sirius!" Abby said, half appalled at his behavior, half wildly amused. "Bad dog! Don't make me slap you with a rolled up newspaper."

"You make me feel so bad about myself," Sirius said, pouting.

"You're the one that chose to become a dog," James pointed out.

"Shut up, you."

"At least I'm pretty," James said, sticking his tongue at Sirius.

"Calm down, children," Lily said to the boys. "What do you want to do? We have a couple of hours before dinner…"

"Lets play Quidditch!" Sirius suggested excitedly.

"Yeah!" James agreed enthusiastically. "We're in for the Cup, we should practice!"

The two ran off to get their Quidditch gear, leaving their girlfriends forgotten in a nearly empty corridor.

Abby looked at Lily, mouth hanging open slightly. "What just happened?"

Lily shrugged and said, "Our boyfriends just abandoned us for sticks and balls." Abby burst out in laughter and Lily smiled at her own little joke. "Fancy a game of chess?"

Nodding, Abby followed Lily to the Heads' Common Room for a quiet afternoon without the boys.


	29. Chapter TwentyEight

_Skipped ahead a little…no big. Also, it's short so…sorry. Sorry a lot. Also also, this chapter is for Untamed Loner because I was at my grandmother's house for yet another eventful extended family dinner and I checked this site out...your review made me very very happy._

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

"Potter passes the Quaffle…it's intercepted by Slytherin's Avery! He speeds toward the post, but Black knocks him off course with a well placed Bludger and Potter catches the Quaffle! Potter's going in alone AND HE SCORES! SIXTY TO FIFTY GRYFFINDOR!"

The crowd went wild, most of it decked out in red and gold. The Quidditch Cup match was well underway and it was a close one. At this point, it was anybody's game with six hard working Chasers and two very frustrated Seekers. The matching of Gryffindor and Slytherin was always intense, but today it was insane. James had nearly lost his head from a few intentional incidents with a Bludger.

Lily had spent a good portion of the match with her head buried in her hands next to Abby, Remus and Peter. Every time a Bludger made its way within five feet of James she got incredibly nervous.

"Poor Lily is going to have an anxiety attack!" Abby shouted to Peter as the crowd went wild; James had passed the Quaffle to Jacobs and he scored. Peter laughed as he saw Lily cover her eyes again as James gracefully dodged another Bludger.

"THE SEEKERS ARE DIVING!" All play stopped as the Chasers, Beaters and Keepers watched the race to the Snitch.

The two Slytherin beaters seized the opportunity that was presented and aimed both Bludgers at James. One of them hit him in the stomach and one of them got his face, but not before he saw the Slytherin Seeker catch the Snitch. He fell from his broom on impact and blacked out from being hit in the head.

When James came to he was in the Hospital Wing and his head was pounding. He moaned at the pain and wondered where his glasses were.

Upon hearing the noise, Lily popped up. She had been in a light sleep, her head resting on the bedside table as she sat in a chair. "Evenin', sleepy head," she said, smiling. She handed him his glasses and, as he sat up, a potion. "Madame Pomfrey said you'd have a headache when you woke up and to drink this," Lily said.

James drank it as quickly as he could and coughed once it went down. "Gross," he muttered.

"She said you need to spend the night and she'll let you go after a morning exam," Lily went on, putting the goblet back on the bedside table.

"Thanks," James said. He smiled and said, "How scared were you that whole game?"

Lily scrunched her nose at him, pretending to be angry and he laughed. "I have good news for you," she said, ignoring his question. "Slytherin got disqualified…I know you know that they got the Snitch."

James nodded and excitedly said, "Is it for the Bludgers?!"

"No," said Lily, "though I doubt those two will ever play another game of Quidditch so long as they live. Did you know that the Snitch is charmed to turn red if you cheat?"

"Nope."

"Well neither did Slytherin," said Lily. "The Seeker summoned the Snitch. He had his wand."

"Those dirty bastards!" James exclaimed, getting riled up.

"Shh," Lily said, placing a finger over her lips. "Pomfrey will kick me out! Slytherin got disqualified, so Gryffindor is going to play Ravenclaw for the Cup after exams."

"_After_ exams?!" James repeated. He groaned. "No one's going to come to practice during exams week."

"Correction, there will be no practices during exams week for either team," said Lily. "Dumbledore says that the teams are allowed two practices each before exams week and then one practice at the end of the week before the match. Ravenclaw gets Friday afternoon and you guys get Friday night."

James bit his lip and said, "I hope we can pull this off."

"You'll be fine," Lily said with a huge reassuring smile. "What I'm worried about," she went on, "is Remus."

James looked up at his girlfriend, a smile playing on his lips. "Sirius won't speak to him ever again unless he out-Beats Deb in the match." He laughed. "This should be interesting…"

---

Exams hit Hogwarts School of Witchcraft And Wizardry like a ton of bricks propelled forward at speeds of over one hundred miles per hour. And yes, it was very painful. N.E.W.T.s were officially the most evil things in the entire world.

"And I thought O.W.L.s were bad!" Sirius exclaimed after the second day of exams as he threw himself onto the floor in front of Gryffindor Common Room's fireplace.

Sirius, Abby and James had stopped going down to the Heads' dormitories after the first day of the Evil Exam Lily's emergence. Sirius and Abby had moved themselves back up to Gryffindor for fear of breathing too loud while Lily was trying to study for her N.E.W.T.s. James had taken to studying up in Gryffindor (and plotting end of the year pranks and such) with the other Marauders and around eleven o'clock he would sneak down to Lily's room and they would sleep only to do it all over again the next day.

It was brutal.

"When's your last exam?" James whispered quietly to the ticking time bomb that was once his girlfriend. They were sitting at the breakfast table on Thursday morning. The last time James had spoken to loudly to her while she ate she nearly fell off of the bench.

"Tomorrow at two," Lily said. She was rocking back and forth slightly, but James decided it was against his best interests to comment.

"Okay," James said softly. "May I give you a kiss on the cheek?"

Lily nodded, not really listening to him as she became lost in her Arithmancy notes again. James leaned over and pecked her on the cheek. She was so surprised that he made contact that she _did _fall off of the chair.

Smiling innocently, James said, "I love you, Lily."

Lily left the Hall without another word to him, though she was muttering angrily to herself under her breath.

"James is in the doghouse!" Sirius chanted, pointing and laughing at his best friend.

Abby slapped Sirius in the back of the head as Remus said, "Don't worry about it, James. It'll all be over when the clock hits three fifteen tomorrow afternoon."

"Thank Merlin for it," James said, poking his sausage with his fork. "I get _nothing_ because of these stupid N.E.W.T.s."

"Prongs…shh."

---

_From this point on I'm moving at a bit of a faster pace than before (in my own opinion) so be prepared for that. Thanks for reading._


	30. Chapter TwentyNine

_Oh well…back at school. It's annoyingly depressing to be living in this crappy box of a room, but I suppose that's the way it goes. Finals are in two weeks and the end of the semester in three, though! A light on the horizon! In honor of being back at school in addition to having such **amazing** readers and reviewers, here is the new chapter. PS: Blame the fact that I didn't update as soon as I got back to school on not uploading. But then I figured out that Exporting Chapters gives me the oportunity to get around the system. Mwahaha... Enjoy._

**Chapter Twenty-Nine **

James threw all of his Quidditch gear into a corner of the common room, deciding to deal with it later. After a quick shower, he put on some clean pajamas and carefully crawled into bed where he found a slumbering Lily.

He could tell that she had tried to wait up for him-she wasn't under the covers and an abandoned novel was in the slow process of falling from her grip. Smiling, James slowly took the book from her. As he did, her eyes opened slightly.

"Hey, you," she said sleepily.

"Sorry, I was trying not to wake you."

"It's because I'm so darn cute when I sleep."

James chuckled softly as he maneuvered Lily's body so that he could pull down the covers. "Pretty much," he said.

"I tried to wait for you," Lily said through a yawn.

"I took practice a bit late," James said. "The match is tomorrow…I think we've got a good chance."

Lily smiled as James put out the candles and climbed into bed. She snuggled up to him as close as she could get. "Exams are over," she said happily.

"That they are, love," James said.

"Oh my God," Lily said suddenly, eyes snapping open. "Do you know what this means?!"

"I can have my girlfriend back," James stated sleepily.

"Forever," said Lily. "James, we just sat the N.E.W.T.s…in two weeks we're graduating," Lily said, sitting up quite quickly. "We're _graduating_."

James sat up and leaned against the headboard, rubbing Lily's back unconsciously. "Well, yeah, Lils," he said. "We did the whole school thing for seven years and now we've got to do the whole life thing for a while."

"It's so strange…" Lily leaned into James. "Just yesterday we were eleven," she said. "We were short and annoying with buck teeth or bad skin or huge glasses…then bam! Before we know it we're of age, we're taller and we look better and we're smarter. Overnight, somehow, we grew up. It seems like only yesterday we were so happy and carefree…nothing could touch us, James. Now we're about to enter a warring world…alone."

"We're not alone," James whispered. "I've got you and you've got me. We have the other guys and Abby…no, we'll never be alone, love."

"I'm not ready to be…you know, grown up," Lily said suddenly. She stood and began to jump on the bed.

"Er…okay, Lils…" James said, somewhat confused at her behavior.

"I want to do something _crazy_!"

"Like jump on the bed because you're over exhausted from exams and have lost your mind?"

"No!" Lily exclaimed. She jumped one last time and landed on her behind. "Lets have a go at each other in the Astronomy Tower."

"…what?"

"Lets have a go at each other in the Astronomy Tower," Lily repeated, completely serious.

"Do you mean-"

"Yeah!" Lily jumped off of the bed to find a sweater.

"You've truly lost it," James said getting out of bed. "And I love it!"

---

Sirius, Abby and Peter entered the Heads' Common Room boisterously. The end of exams plus the Quidditch Cup rematch had hearts racing and moods soaring.

"Where _is_ Remus, anyway?" Abby was asking Peter as Sirius moved to Lily's bedroom to wake his friends.

"Sirius refuses to see him until after the game because he's wearing Gryffindor _and _Ravenclaw colors," Peter explained.

Abby shook her head, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend's behavior.

"Hey, guys?" Sirius said, reemerging from the bedroom. "Where are Lily and James?"

"They aren't here?" said Abby. Sirius shook his head. "They probably went down to breakfast.

Sirius pointed to the far corner of the room and said, "His broom's still here." Out of his trunk which was still in James' old bedroom due to laziness, Sirius summoned the Marauder's Map and located James and Lily in the Astronomy Tower. "What the hell are they doing up there?"

"Dunno," Peter shrugged.

"I'll go get them," Sirius said, handing his and James' brooms to Abby. "We'll meet you two in the Great Hall."

Sirius made his way to the Astronomy Tower quickly. So help James and Lily if he didn't get a hearty meal!

Moving into the room after unlocking the doors, Sirius looked around and spotted the couple on the opposite side of the room on top of a blanket and under a cloak. As he got closer, he saw that they were both naked and he screamed. It sounded like a small girl.

James woke with a start and jumped up as a reflex. Sirius screamed even louder, covering his eyes as James realized what he was doing and covered himself. Lily, who was blushing furiously, was curled up in a small ball under James' cloak.

"Padfoot!" James shouted.

"Why?!" Sirius shrieked. "WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! That is _way _more of you than I _EVER_ needed to see…WHY?!"

"Padfoot-"

"I will see you at breakfast!" Sirius shouted, cutting James off. His eyes were still clenched shut as he turned and literally ran from the Astronomy Tower.

James turned to see Lily still laying down, curled up under the cloak. He began to laugh like mad and get dressed. Lily did the same. "I think we may have scared Sirius for life," James said.

"Correction," said Lily. "_You_ ruined the boy. You flashed him!"

James laughed even harder.

---

"The Quaffle is passed to Potter…HE SCORES! GRYFFINDOR GETS AHEAD, NINETY TO EIGHTY. Bones takes the Quaffle…dodges a Bludger from Black and…HE SCORES! Gryffindor just can't seem to keep the lead today. Ravenclaw may just have a chance…and Potter calls a time out."

James flew to the ground, followed by his six teammates.

"This is getting ridiculous!" he shouted over the noise of the crowd. "You need to find the Snitch soon before she tires out." He pointed to the Keeper. "Sirius, blaze a path to the goals and we'll put some away. I want you to stay with the Chasers the entire time." Sirius nodded, still a bit shaken up by what he had seen that morning.

"Alright," James said. "Frank, catch that Snitch! Lets go!"

The Gryffindor Lions kicked off, grateful for the chance to catch their breath.

"The teams take to the air once more as the Lions' time out expires. And here we go! Potter gets the Quaffle right away. Black hits a Bludger and gets Bones out of the way. Potter scores a good one! Gryffindor take the lead once more."

James pumped his fist in the air as he flew back to Gryffindor's side to play defense. Sirius blocked a Bludger that was going for Frank's back as he flew back to Gryffindor's side as well.

In the stands, Lily was, once again, hiding her eyes every time a Bludger made its way within ten feet of James.

"Lils, calm yourself!" Abby shouted over the noise. "What are you going to do if this boy makes the pro circuit?"

"He isn't trying!" Lily replied, twitching as a Bludger was blocked from behind James by Sirius. "Make it end!"

"LONGBOTTOM HAS SPOTTED THE SNITCH! There he goes! He's way ahead of- HE CAUGHT IT! HE CAUGHT IT! IT'S OVER! GRYFFINDOR WINS THE CUP!"

Lily and Abby were both jumping wildly as Frank made a victory lap, the Golden Snitch held high. They both darted in and out of the mass of students trying to make it down to the field and somehow made it to the Gryffindor Lions first.

Lily ran to James and jumped into his arms, kissing him passionately. "You did it!" she shouted. "You did it! You won you're last Cup match!"

Smiling, James nodded. "We won the last Cup match," he repeated. "You're right…it is weird that it's over."

"PARTY!" Sirius shouted. "PARTY IN GRYFFINDOR!"

The professors didn't say a word…after all, they had a lot to celebrate that day and soon there would be nothing left to celebrate. The war was growing worse and the deaths increasing everyday…so why not let the kids have their party?


	31. Chapter Thirty

_Happy 30th chapter! Thank you to all of you who have reviewed so far._

**Chapter Thirty**

Lily wandered the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft And Wizardry alone. Most of her peers were outside. It was a beautiful day complete with a shining sun and chirping birds…but Lily was spending it wandering every one of the chilly stone corridors.

"Lily?"

She turned and smiled warmly as James ran from behind her. "Hello, love," she said, holding her hand out to him.

Once he caught up to her, he took it and they continued on her walk. "What are you doing in here?" James asked. "It's beautiful outside. Deb packed a picnic basket for everyone."

"I just wanted to walk through one last time," Lily said, stopping and looking down the corridor to their left. "We graduate tonight and take the train out of Hogsmeade Station in the morning…this is really it."

James bent to kiss Lily on the cheek and smiled. "We're going to be alright," he said.

She nodded. "Come on," she said, turning suddenly. "A picnic awaits."

At precisely six o'clock that evening, the seventh years found themselves in their Graduation Robes, all sitting in the Great Hall by house and alphabetically. James and Lily both sat where the teachers were sitting, waiting to give their final departing words to a group of people that they may or may not ever see again…a group of people that may or may not survive the war.

Lily was the first to speak. She had thought that she was going to be nervous, but she found that when she stepped up to the podium, she wasn't nervous in the slightest. Smiling down at her fellow Hogwarts graduates, Lily took a deep breath and began to speak.

"We've made it," she said. "Somehow, we all made it through O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s and all of those insane exams and twelve foot long essays. I don't know how we did it, I won't lie to you. Not so long ago we were all first years. We were eleven, some of us were scared of this place, some of us were excited…some of us were both. Over the years we grew together, learned together…we even fought each other on and off the Quidditch Pitch. The scary thing is that once we leave here tomorrow morning, none of that will matter anymore. It won't matter if you were the smartest in your Arithmancy class or the most popular person or the best Quidditch player…what matters is with whom we choose to stay in touch with after tomorrow…what matters is with whom we choose to ally ourselves. We're about to enter a scary world, but with everything that we've been through together here I know that we'll be alright. The only thing that matters in all that I am saying here tonight is this…congratulations."

James stood to speak next. He bowed to Lily as the applause died down and she smiled at him, taking her seat. He stepped up to the podium, a mischievous smile on his face. He made eye contact with Sirius, who had the same mischievous smile plastered onto his face.

"Hey there," James began rather informally. "Well, er…" He clapped his hands together. "We're done. That's what it all comes down to, isn't it? We're done. No more textbooks. No more essays. No more crazy McGonagall." James winked at the professor and she actually cracked a smile. "Most importantly," he went on, "no more protection. You can't cry foul to a professor anymore. They aren't going to be there to watch our backs anymore. It's a great new freedom, isn't it? I can levitate all the people I want without getting a detention now! I think it's great!" James chuckled.

"Seriously, though…this is big. I've been trying to think of the right thing to say to you all because I know that there's no way I'll ever have the opportunity to speak to all of you like this ever again. Unfortunately I'm not the best with this kind of thing. I couldn't think of what I could possibly say to you, so Lily said that I should just say what's in my heart…so I have four more words for you. Do the right thing. Congratulations."

As James stepped down, Sirius whispered a few well chosen words and before anyone knew what was happening, red and gold slime was pouring down on them from the ceiling. A huge banner popped up above the stage that read, _Marauders Forever!_

Dumbledore, who had gotten mostly red slime, chuckled and stood, moving to the podium as if nothing was happening.

"Okay," he said, clapping his hands together. "It's always hard to say goodbye. Also, I have the feeling that the castle will be much quieter after this year." He looked at each Marauder fondly. "I don't want to hold up what will undoubtedly be some very fun celebrations, so I will now shut up." The old man laughed at himself. "Congratulations, you are no longer students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft And Wizardry."

The ex-seventh years cheered wildly, jumping up to hug each other and, in some cases, throw some slime. James and Lily both rushed down to their friends and join in the slinging of the slime…the last little prank of the Marauders.

---

Abby, Sirius, Remus, Deb, Peter, James and Lily had decided to clean themselves up and then meet in the Entrance Hall at nine o'clock to go celebrate graduation in Hogsmeade.

James and Lily both got cleaned up rather quickly. They had decided that now was a good a time as ever to go see Professor Dumbledore about their entry into The Order of The Phoenix. What they didn't expect to find waiting for them in the headmaster's office was Sirius, Peter, Deb, Abby and Remus.

"What's going on?" Lily asked as the headmaster drew up-literally-another two chairs.

"Apparently Mr. Black likes to eavesdrop," said Dumbledore amusedly. "You are all here for the same reason." James and Lily looked at their friends in shock.

"I urge you all to think about this thorough-"

"With all due respect, Professor Dumbledore, I've had plenty of time to think about it and I want to join," James interrupted. "I'm never going to change my mind. I want to help end this thing. I want my kids to be able to grow up in a world that isn't so full of hatred and death…it's not right."

Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Very well, James," he said. "I suppose none of you will take anymore time to consider the duties you will be taking on."

"I'm in," said Lily.

"Me too," Sirius said as Remus nodded.

"There's nothing to think about," Abby added in as Deb said, "I wouldn't dream of not helping the cause."

Peter was nodding along with everyone else, though he looked a bit unsure of himself.

"Alright," said the headmaster. "Go home tomorrow and take a few weeks to get your situations sorted," he instructed. "I suggest relocating to drop below their radar, so to speak. I will contact you at the end of July and from that point on there will be no turning back."

"Yes, sir," said all of them.

The old man smiled at his former students. "Go enjoy yourselves now," he said. "This is a time of celebration."

The seven friends did just that. They headed down to Hogsmeade for some drinks and late night food. Stories were told about the past seven years at Hogwarts. Most of them knew the stories, but it was fun anyway. Between the drinks, the food and the reminiscing, they lost track of time. It was nearly three a.m. before they returned to their respective dormitories to rest.

James climbed into the bed that he and Lily had shared for quite some time for the last time. Lily snuggled close to him and he held her tight. "I love you, you know that?" he said, kissing her forehead. "I love you more than…I don't even know. It's incomprehensible."

"I love you too, James," Lily said sleepily.

As she drifted into sleep, James whispered that he had a surprise for her the next day. Although, she thought when she awoke in his arms the next morning, that may have been in her dreams.

For the graduated class, it was a sad dawn. It was their last time waking up in the wondrous castle. It was their last shower in Hogwarts. It was their last meal cooked by the House Elves. It was a teary goodbye from Hagrid and a quiet ride in the horseless carriages. No one fought for compartments as they loaded themselves and their luggage onto the train, it didn't seem to matter anymore.

This was it. The last time they'd see the witch with the food cart…it was the last time that Sirius would purchase one of everything and finish it within minutes as Remus murdered him in a game of Wizard Chess and Abby laughed at them.

Lily spent most of the journey resting in James' arms, still quite tired from the night before and somewhat melancholy for having to leave her beloved school…the one place where nothing was more complicated than it needed to be. Once she got off of that train, she was an adult with responsibilities and a war to fight in.

The train pulled onto Platform Nine And Three-Quarters near dark. With a great effort, the seven companions left the train together, gathering carts for their trunks which they would never have to haul around again. Then, one by one, they left Platform Nine And Three-Quarters to enter into the muggle world as adults, fully licensed witches and wizards.

They were entering the fight.

_Okay, so here's the deal. I was going to end it here and make a sequel, but I still can't think of a fitting title and "An, As of Now, Untitled Story 2" sounds stupid to me. I'm going to just keep going…but know that this is where the first part ends and Chapter Thirty-One will be where Part Two begins. Much love._


	32. Chapter ThirtyOne

_Part Two begins… We will learn a bit about Lily's family history in the coming chapters as well as some Order business. I'm done writing Part Two and I'm revising right now. I hope you enjoy it._

**Chapter Thirty-One**

"James, wherever it is that we're going, are we almost there?" Lily whined. "I'm tired and my neck is cramping from sleeping in the car."

"We're almost there," James said, chuckling a bit. He was sitting in the driver's seat of a rented car. The car was from the Ministry, therefore it was magic which meant that it was driving, not James. "In fact," he said as the car slowed, "here we are."

James hopped out of the car as it stopped and opened the door for Lily. "What a gentleman," she joked as he bowed to her.

What Lily was facing when she got out of the car was a house in the middle of the woods. "Did I miss the conversation where we decided to take a holiday straight off the train?"

"We're not on holiday," James said. As he shut the trunk of the car, it disappeared. "We're home."

"…what?"

"We're home," James repeated. "We're about a half of a mile west of the town of Godric's Hollow."

"James, I asked if I could stay in your flat until I found a cheap place," Lily said slowly. "Why did you buy a house?"

"Dumbledore said to change places," James said. "And I didn't buy this house. It was my parents' summer house. They'd let me, Sirius and Pamina stay when they weren't around sometimes."

As he walked up to the door to unlock it, Lily came to her senses and followed him. "If you don't want to stay, you don't have to," James said slowly, trying to hide that he was hurt by it. They stepped into the living room and Lily took in the cozy features of the home. "I'll put your things upstairs," he went on, climbing the steps with two levitating trunks. "We can go back down to London to find you a place in the morning."

Over a half an hour later, Lily found herself tossing and turning alone in a very large bed, unable to fall asleep. What was wrong with her? She knew that if they had returned to his flat in London, she probably never would have left…so why did she overreact like this? Why be mad at him? She just wished that he hadn't sprung it on her as a surprise…if he would have simply asked her, she probably would have said yes.

Lily let out a frustrated sigh. The clock read one fourteen a.m. She was exhausted after the long celebration the previous night, the long train ride and the ridiculously long car ride. Why was she still awake?! She knew why…

Getting out of bed, Lily slipped her feet into slippers and tiptoed out into the hallway. From what she could deduce, James was still downstairs. She followed the sound of shuffling papers and the flickering candlelight down the steps and into the living room. James was sitting with his feet up, reading.

When he heard her, James looked up from his book. "What are you still doing up?" he asked, removing his glasses momentarily to rub his eyes.

"I can't sleep," Lily said, joining her boyfriend on the couch. She rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm too spoiled. You're my big comfy pillow."

James gave a small smile. "Is that so?"

Lily nodded. "I'm sorry I got angry," she said, sitting up. She straddled him so that she was able to look him in the eye. "I just wish we would have talked about it…the fact is that if we did go back to your flat, I probably never would have left it. I don't see why this should be any different…just…talk to me about something this big _before_ you do it next time, will you?"

James smiled and, leaning forward, kissed Lily's lips softly. "Whatever you say, dear," he said. Lily resumed her place next to him but this time laid her head in his lap. James continued to read as Lily drifted to sleep next to him.

Eventually he felt sleep nagging at him as well. He used magic to put all of the candles in the room out before placing his book on the arm of the couch. He stopped to stare at Lily for a moment, taking in her beauty as she slept…oh how he loved to watch her sleep. He carefully picked her up and headed to their new bedroom, which was his old bedroom some summers.

With a kiss to the top of the head and whispers of love, James drifted to sleep next to Lily's already sleeping form.

---

"Did you pass?" James asked, jumping to his feet as Lily found him sitting in a very large lobby.

With a huge smile, Lily propelled herself into his arms. "I passed!" she exclaimed with joy. "I can apparate!"

"Congratulations!" James said, hugging her. "I'm taking you to dinner, come on," he said. "Anywhere you want."

"There's this really nice Italian restaurant that I love…it's muggle, but not too far from here."

"Lead the way, Miss Evans," said James, letting her lead him onto the streets of muggle London.

The couple walked hand in hand down the crowded streets, Lily slightly pulling James along with excitement. She hadn't been to this restaurant in a very long time, and it had been one of her favorites as a child.

"Table for two, please."

"Right this way."

The hostess led them to a table near the back of the crowded restaurant. Lily sat down and James pushed her chair in for her before sitting down himself. "This is cozy," he said. "What's good?"

"Everything!" Lily said enthusiastically. "I'm going to go for the chicken parmesan. It's _so_ good!"

James chuckled as he opened the menu. "Maybe I'll get that as well then," he said. "Hmm…this lasagna sounds good as well. Wait, so does the penne alla vodka. Help, Lily!"

Shaking her head, Lily smiled. "You and your stomach," she said. "Close your eyes and point to something and that can be what you order."

The couple shared a lovely dinner. James was amazed at how incredibly great the food tasted…after all, muggles can't cook like House Elves can.

After dinner, Lily left James to wander around London for a bit to shop. James complained that the food made him sleepy and apparated home after a _very _drawn out goodbye. Really he just wanted to give his girlfriend a few hours to herself. She deserved a bit of time without his annoying-yet adorable-habits and he had no problem admitting it.

Upon his materialization in his bedroom, James plopped onto the bed and yawned. He was tired, but he wouldn't fall asleep just yet. How he had come along in the last few months…he gave himself a literal pat on the back and smiled. He was proud of himself and thankful to Lily. Had it not been for her…well, he didn't want to think about it.

What mattered now? What mattered now was that he was relatively happy. He missed his parents and his sister more than even he could comprehend…but he was learning to live with that on an every day level. Still…being in this house again was taking its toll on him. He hid it from Lily…or he tried to. Everything in the house reminded him of his family and the time that they had spent there…mostly happy memories, yes, but even the happy memories hurt sometimes.

Through this train of thought James found himself somehow drifting into a light sleep. It was only when Lily apparated into the room nearly an hour and a half later and shook him that he awoke.

James' eyes opened slowly, a grin firmly in place. "Hello, love," he said. "Did you have fun?"

"Er…I saw my father," Lily said slowly.

James propped himself up on his elbow and raised an eyebrow. "Your father?" he repeated. Lily nodded. There was a slight pause as James pondered this for a moment. "You've never talked about your family…ever," he said.

"Yeah, well…yeah," Lily finished lamely.

"Are you going to tell me?" James asked, assuming there was a story to tell.

"There's nothing to say, James," Lily said shortly. "He did invite me to dinner," she added after a moment.

"Yeah?"

Lily nodded. "He invited me to dinner at his new place…and I said I'd go…next Friday."

James smiled. "Well that's good," he said.

"Right…"

"Can I come?"

"Why would you want to come to dinner with my father?" Lily asked, shocked.

"Why are you so surprised that I would want to eat food, spend a night out with you and meet your dad?" James said with a chuckle. "I thought you knew me by now!"

Lily, who still looked a bit apprehensive, did finally smile. She laid down next to James and let him take hold of her, whispering that she loved him as he did so.


	33. Chapter ThirtyTwo

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

"Lily," James whined.

"What, James?"

"I'm cold."

"I know, James."

"And I'm hungry."

"I know, James."

"And I-"

"James, I know," Lily said exasperatedly. "Stop whining."

"A pouting James Potter and a shivering Lily Evans were standing outside of a train station in a town that James had never been to before, nor did he remember the name of it. They were waiting for Lily's father to pick them up for dinner and it was strangely chilly out for the time of year.

"I don't see why we couldn't just apparate," James muttered. While the muggle way of traveling was fine when he needed to get to and from school, it was now proving quite annoying and inconvenient.

"I _told_ you," Lily said, trying to control her exasperation. "Magic freaks him out."

"So _we _have to travel for four hours on a train…" James muttered. "He should respect your life as a witch, you know."

Lily sighed, but said nothing.

James wrapped his arm around her, pulling her to him. Lily wrapped both of her arms around James' midsection, hugging him. "Even when your whiney and annoying, you're completely adorable and, for some reason, loveable."

"Thank you, doll," James said, smiling and kissing her forehead.

"Don't call me 'doll,' love."

Before James could respond, a car pulled in front of the two. "By the way," Lily whispered as her father opened his door, "I didn't tell him you were coming."

"…I hate you _so_ much."

"Lily!" her father said as he stepped out of the car. "Ah, and you brought a friend I see…"

"Boyfriend, actually," Lily said, awkwardly removing herself from James' arms. "James Potter, Roger Evans."

James held out a hand, shaking Roger's. "Hello, sir," he said with an award winning smile attached.

The car ride was completely awkward and, for the most part, silent. The one exception came when Roger told them that dinner was ready and waiting, which it was.

Upon entering the Evans household, Lily and James removed their shoes, following Roger's example. He led the couple into the dining room where a very young looking blond woman was setting the food onto the table and making up the plates.

"Hello!" she exclaimed as they entered. "How are you? Oh, this is _so_ exciting!"

Lily and James exchanged a quick look as Roger said, "This is my fiancé Claire. Claire, honey, this is my younger daughter Lily and her boyfriend Joe."

"James," Lily corrected her father, holding her hand out to Claire.

"Don't be silly!" Claire basically attacked a very stunned Lily with a big hug. "We're almost family!"

"…right."

James was also attacked by the blond. "Lily!" she said, letting James go. "Where did you find him? He's adorable!"

"Smart too," Lily said, taking a seat. "No matter how wonderful that ass is, I don't accept conversation that isn't mentally stimulating."

"I _knew_ you love my ass!" James said excitedly under his breath. "Score one for Potter."

"We met at school," Lily went on. "We were both top in our year."

Lily wasn't really sure why she had made the ass comment. For some reason, she felt a burning desire to anger her father. Between expressing her love for James' behind and the fact that he was a wizard, she knew that she was doing her job.

"Yes, Roger told me that he hasn't seen you in a while because you went to a boarding school."

"We…yeah, that's about right," Lily said slowly. "So when did you come along?"

"I think what Lily means to say," James said quickly, "is how long have you two been together?"

"Roger and I met two and a half years ago," Claire said with a ridiculously large smile on her face. She laid a hand on his shoulder. "We moved in together last May and he proposed three weeks ago."

"That's spec-"

"That's _wonderful_!" James exclaimed rather loudly, cutting Lily off. He had caught on to her attitude instantly and found himself wondering silently, _What in Merlin's name is up with her?_

"And how about you two?" Roger asked, though it was abundantly clear that he couldn't have cared less and was much more interested in his pot-roast.

"Oh, yes!" Claire exclaimed. James noticed that she was a bit too overenthusiastic. "How long have you two lovebirds been dating?"

"Nearly six months now, isn't it?" James said beaming. Lily nodded.

"Six great months," she said. "This pot-roast is good," she added while James nodded in agreement.

No one spoke for a bit. Lily seemed to be fascinated by her mixed vegetables and James was just completely confused. Roger was slightly regretting his decision to invite his daughter to dinner and Claire was simply smiling at all of them. She was a bit too intense for James' taste.

"So…" Claire began, fishing for a question to kill the awkward silence. "Where are you living right now, Lily? Roger didn't mention…"

"I live a little ways outside of Godric's Hollow," said Lily. "It's a small town…you've probably never heard of it. James and I have a house there."

"Living together?! But you're both so young! What do _your_ parents have to say about this situation?"

"Not a thing," James said slowly. "They died a little over a year ago."

"Oh dear…I'm so sorry, James." James nodded. "How did it happen?"

"They were murdered," said James quietly.

Lily nodded in confirmation and added, "Same lunatic who murdered my mother."

"You never told me your ex-wife was _murdered_!"

Mr. Evans finished chewing his meat slowly before placing his fork and knife down. "I can see that this was a bad idea," he said slowly. "You obviously haven't forgiven me yet-"

"Why should I have?!" Lily suddenly burst, jumping to her feet. "You _abandoned _me because of something that was out of my control! I thought I wanted to come here to mend things, but I was kidding myself. I want to tell you that I _hate_ you. I want you to know that you ruined me and my childhood. I want you to go to hell! And I wanted you to meet the man that you _won't_ be giving me away to at my wedding because you're _not _invited!"

With that, Lily disapparated from the table. Claire screamed and fainted. Mr. Evans had to be quite quick in order to keep her from hitting the floor.

James sat awkwardly staring at Lily's father for a moment. Biting his lip, he disapparated.

He appeared in his own living room seconds later and couldn't stop himself from thinking that that had been _so_ much easier than the muggles' train. Putting this from his mind, he climbed the steps two at a time, knowing that Lily would most likely be in the bedroom.

"Lily?" James said, entering the room slowly. "Oh, Lils."

Lily was laying on the bed. Her face was buried into the pillows and her body was shaking as she sobbed.

"Lily, what the hell is going on?" James asked softly. He crossed the room and sat on the bed, his hand resting on the small of her back. He didn't understand what was going on. Lily had never spoken of her family to anyone. If it hadn't have been in the paper, he never would have known that her mother had been a victim of Voldemort…he was so confused.

Lily didn't acknowledge James for quite some time, so he just sat and rubbed her back, trying to guess…

"I hate that man," she finally released into the pillow. James struggled to understand her.

"Why'd you agree to dinner then?" he questioned.

"I don't know." Lily sat up and caught James off guard when she threw herself into his arms.

"Lily, please tell me what's going on," James whispered into her hair.

Lily let him go and sat beside him, wiping her tears using her sleeve. "When I was little my dad never knew what all of those strange things that I did were…when we found out that it was magic, he freaked. He and my mom had been separated for quite some time already and so it wasn't hard for him to just stop seeing me.

"He'd take Petunia on vacations over the summer holidays…he'd send Petunia Christmas presents and birthday presents…he just…he just stopped loving me.

"I think we both had the same idea…we should have mended things and instead I fucked it all up."

"Lily, you expect to just be able to forgive him?" said James, a hand on her shoulder. "What he did was wrong. You're human, you're allowed to act that way sometimes." He offered up a lopsided grin. "And you _can_ trust me with this stuff you know…you should have told me about all this before we went there."

Lily smiled apologetically as James wiped her tears with his thumb. "Sorry," she muttered.

"It's alr-"

"POTTERS!"

James blinked for a moment. "Tell me that wasn't-" Sirius burst into the room, cutting James off with a, "HEY!"

"We aren't the 'Potters,' Sirius," Lily said, not facing Sirius.

"Fine, Potter and Evans then," Sirius said, jumping onto the bed.

"Well, actually, you said we'd get married when you were yelling at your dad," James said cheekily. Lily smacked him in the head. "That hurts…"

"What are you doing here, Sirius?" Lily asked, turning away from her boyfriend.

"Actually, I was hoping you guys would be completely awesome and do me a _huge_ favor," Sirius said slowly. "Not just me," he added after a moment, "but Abby too. And I _know_ that you like her more than you like me."

James chuckled a bit and said, "What do you want, Padfoot?"

"The lease on my place is up and I haven't found a new one yet," Sirius said, biting his lip. "Could me and Abs stay here until we find a place?"

"What's in it for us?" Lily asked jokingly.

"Actually," said James, "Padfoot here is one hell of a cook."

"Point taken," said Sirius. "I'll start dinner."

"We just ate," said Lily.

"Well…I'll start on midnight snacks then."

James smiled as a thought came to his mind. He began to laugh. "Abby is downstairs with all your crap, isn't she?"

"This is why we're best friends," Sirius said with an award winning smile. He jumped to his feet and walked around the bed to hug them both.

"You know where to put it all," said James. "I haven't touched anything in your room anyway…you're like a boomerang, Padfoot."

Sirius happily trotted out of the room and down the stairs as Lily shook her head, smiling. "This should be interesting…"


	34. Chapter ThirtyThree

_I apologize in advance for the somewhat choppy nature of this chapter. Also, I apologize if it seems somewhat rushed…don't hurt me. Trembles_

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

Albus Dumbledore looked older than Lily had remembered. It seemed strange to her that such a short period of time could take such a toll on the man who usually had a twinkle in his eye. Dumbledore was sitting across from her in the living room in Godric's Hollow. James was next to Lily. Abby and Sirius sat on the floor while Remus and Deb were standing.

Peter hadn't shown up.

"We can't wait for him," Dumbledore suddenly announced. The other six nodded in understanding. "This is your last chance to back out."

"No," James said firmly.

"Very well," Dumbledore said, sighing heavily. "We have identified an outpost of sorts where Death Eaters are known to stay if they need to…recharge, I suppose you could say." Dumbledore handed a folder to each of them. "Go there, take prisoners and destroy the house so that no other Death Eaters can hide there. It's a simple mission, and it's low risk. I want you to know that as time goes on this job will become more and more dangerous."

"We understand that," Sirius said, nodding. "It needs to be done, and who better to do it than us, eh?"

The old man cracked a smile at the young man's naturally enthusiastic nature. "You leave tomorrow, all of the details are in your folders. When you've done what you need to do bring the prisoners back to headquarters. One of you apparate to Hogsmeade and get to the castle to let me know and I will take it from there."

---

"They're going to try to capture prisoners and make them talk."

"When?"

"Here is everything you're going to need to know."

"Yes…yes, good work. Am I correct to assume that you will be with them?"

"Yes."

"If it comes down to it-"

"Don't worry. You know where my loyalties lie."

"Very good."

---

"Why would they even want to stay out here?" James whispered as he and Lily led the group of six through the woods.

"There's a muggle village a few miles from here," Lily whispered back. "They kill, they come back here to do whatever it is they do, then they go on their way. It's disgusting really…"

"That it is," said Sirius from behind.

"I suggest _shutting up_," Remus hissed from the back of the group. "We're supposed to be _sneaking…_"

James led the group around to the back of the house. All of them had their wands out and were ready for anything…or at least anything except what happened.

As Lily threw a charm at the door to open it, the others rushed inside. She followed after them and what she saw was beyond her comprehension. There were what looked to be nearly fifty Death Eaters packed into the room waiting for them. As soon as the others had run in they had began to throw curses.

The battle was fierce, and Lily was unsure of how she was managing to dodge all of the curses that flew her way. She was detached from herself…she didn't think, she just _did._

Abby had been hit by a Cruciatus Curse, but Sirius had come to her rescue with a stunning spell only to move on to the next Death Eater as she caught her breath quickly. Deb tackled her to keep her from being hit again and the pair rolled under a table.

"Thanks, Deb," she began to say, but the sound died in her throat as she caught the manic look in Deb's eyes. Somehow Abby knew. She didn't know how she could tell, but she knew at that moment that Deb wasn't who she said she was.

Abby scrambled to get away. She stood and tried to get her wand, which was only a few feet away, but she was too late.

"_Avada Kedavera!_"

A sickening green light filled the room and was quickly gone. Only the lifeless body of Abby Cook remained.

Sirius let out a strangled cry that was somewhere between a 'no' and an 'argh.' Lily saw Deb lower her wand, a manic grin plastered onto her face.

Without warning, James grabbed Lily's arm and disapparated. Remus also snapped to his senses, grabbing Sirius and disapparating to Godric's Hollow, where he knew that James and Lily would be.

---

Professor Dumbledore sat at his desk going over some paperwork. His heart was heavy…he sensed that something was wrong, and Albus Dumbledore was never wrong about these sort of things…

Right on cue, two former students stumbled into his office.

"What happened?" he asked immediately.

It was the first time, James would later realize, that Dumbledore hadn't offered them a seat or a lemon drop.

"Deborah Stevens is a traitor," Lily stated. "She…"

"She killed Abby," James choked out. "…right in front of us. Remus got Sirius out of there and they're in Godric's Hollow."

"She's Dark," said Lily. "She had to have told them that we were coming…it's the only explanation for why there was so many of them there and why they were so…_ready_."

"Oh my…" Dumbledore mumbled, holding his head in his hands. "I was afraid of this…"

"Professor-"

"You need to be with your friend," Dumbledore said suddenly, standing. "I'm sending members of The Order to Godric's Hollow until we figure out how much they know about you. If she told them where you live you're in danger. I will find out as soon as possible. Until then, I'll have them send Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black back here and you will stay in the castle."

With that, the headmaster left the two teens standing in the office. Lily broke down sobbing into James' arms. He scooped her up, hugging her as tight as he possibly could. "Shh...Lily," he whispered, choking back his own tears. "Shh..." Running his hands through her hair, James rocked her in the spot that they stood as many thoughts passed through his somewhat clouded mind.

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_I didn't plan for that to come out how it did. I revised it as best I could, but it sort of fits with what I wanted to do, so I kept it in. The next one will be more to your liking I think...I hope._


	35. Chapter ThirtyFour

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

Lily awoke alone for the first time in quite some time. She was confused for a moment until the memories of the previous night flooded over her in a wave of emotion. Abby was gone…that was all that she could think about…Abby Cook was dead.

Suddenly, another thought came to Lily's mind: Remus. Deb's betrayal had to be taking a toll on the young man. With this in mind, Lily kicked off her covers and left the bedroom. She was still wearing her clothes from the day before.

James was sitting on the couch in the common room of their former dormitory when she entered. He smiled sadly at her and stood, arms open. Lily accepted the morning hug gratefully as she asked where Sirius was.

"I convinced him to take a shower," James answered solemnly.

Lily nodded. "And Remus? Where's Remus?"

James shrugged. "He fell asleep on the couch after a while after you fell asleep," he said. "When Sirius and I came out here this morning he was gone."

"Where could he have gone?"

James shrugged yet again. "I'm sure he'll be back soon," he said. "That's how Remus does things…he doesn't want anyone else to help him until he's ready to accept their help."

Lily bit her lip. "I want to make sure he's alright," she said anyway. James nodded, understanding.

"Lets get some breakfast first and then find Remus," James said.

Lily shook her head. "I'm not hungry," she said. "I'm going to go find him…is Sirius…" she trailed off.

James sighed heavily. "I don't know, love…I don't know how this is going to play out."

Lily found Remus outside on the grounds. He was wandering aimlessly and it looked to her as if he had been out there since some ungodly hour in the morning. She said nothing as she fell into step with him and neither did he. He just led the way to nowhere in particular.

This went on for nearly thirty minutes. The silence, to Lily, was deafening. To Remus it was comforting to know that she could just be there without speaking. He understood why James had gotten better by having Lily around…she let you vent on your own terms.

"How's Sirius?" Remus said, his voice weak and his eyes pointed downward.

"I'm not sure," Lily said truthfully. "James said that he was showering when I woke up…then I came to find you." Remus nodded. "How are you doing?"

"Two nights ago I was in bed with a traitor and last night that traitor killed my best friend's girlfriend who happened to be a good friend of mine…" Remus said slowly, heavily. He looked so tired…too tired for a young man his age. "I won't lie to you, Lily, I'm not doing that well."

The redhead nodded, putting a hand on Remus' shoulder as their pace slowed. "I'm really sorry, Remus," she said.

"Why?" Remus asked. "You didn't bring a traitor into this circle…into The Order…our lives."

"It's not your fault, Remus."

"Yes, Lily, it is. I should have known."

"How could you have possibly known?" Lily questioned. "None of us thought that something like this could ever happen…not on our first mission, not _ever_. What reason would you have had to suspect that she was betraying you?"

"She had been acting a bit strange for a while," Remus said quietly, hanging his head. "I thought it was…I told her that I was a werewolf and I thought _that_ was why she was acting strange."

"It's perfectly understandable, Remus," said Lily. Her eyes locked onto his, pleading for him to believe her words. "No one blames you."

"Sirius-"

"Sirius will not blame you." Lily wrapped her arms around the taller boy in a comforting hug. "Go talk to him."

Remus closed his eyes, trying to block all of the emotions that were running through his veins. "Okay."

---

"You wanted to see us, sir?"

"Yes, James, Remus," said Dumbledore, drawing up two chairs. "Have a seat…lemon drop?" James took a candy and Remus kindly declined. "I know that it has only been two weeks…but, if you're both up to it, I have a job for you to do."

"What do you need?" James asked immediately.

Nodding, Remus said, "I'll do whatever it is." He was anxious to leave the safety of the castle. It was suffocating him.

"There is a prisoner at headquarters," Dumbledore began. "He has been questioned and all information that we need has been sucked out of him…his memory erased of any trace of The Order. All he knows is that he has been captured.

"If you're up to it, I just need the two of you to pick him up from headquarters and transport him to the Ministry. Alastor Moody, I don't know if you know him but he's an Auror, will be waiting there for you and he'll bring the man in. The Ministry will be none the wiser to our existence and we have the information that we need."

"Sounds simple enough," said Remus as James nodded.

"You leave tomorrow evening then," Dumbledore said. "Oh, by the way, you can return to Godric's Hollow today."

"Thanks, sir."

The next afternoon found Remus and James preparing to leave for headquarters. Sirius was in the kitchen…he had taken comfort in cooking which left the others to gain a few pounds. Whenever Sirius was cooking, he seemed to be happiest for some reason…

"Listen," James said, pulling Lily from the hallway into their bedroom as Remus went downstairs to say goodbye to Sirius.

"What's up?" Lily asked.

James wrapped the redhead into a tight hug. "I need you to keep an eye on him for me, alright?"

"Of course, James."

"He's been better this week…that just means that he's trying to figure out how to deal," James explained. "I know him, Lils…if he gets the chance he'll try to find Deb."

Lily nodded, saying, "I'll keep him busy, James, I promise."

James smiled, kissing Lily on the nose. "Love you."

"Love you too."

Once Remus and James had gone, Lily joined Sirius in the kitchen. "What's for dinner?" she asked softly, taking a seat at the table.

"Lasagna," Sirius answered, not looking her way. "I made garlic bread as well…and I had Remus pick up some wine seeing as James has forbidden me to leave the house."

"He's just worried about you," Lily said, still speaking quietly.

Sirius turned, a tray of hot lasagna in his hands. "I know, I know…he means well and all that."

Lily nodded, filling her plate.

The meal was absolutely delicious. Lily found herself wondering, for what must have been the thousandth time, where in the world Sirius Black had learned how to cook so well. Every meal that he had come up with was heaven to Lily's taste buds.

As she finished her final bite, Lily sat back in her chair, stuffed full.

"Lily?" Sirius said suddenly, looking up at her from across the table.

"Hmm?"

"You know I love you like a sister, right?"

"And I love you like a brother, Sirius."

Nodding, Sirius said, "Exactly…that's why I want you to know that I'm really, _really_ sorry."

"About what?" Lily asked, frowning.

"…this," Sirius said, pulling his wand out. "Stupefy!"

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_I was going to end it there, but yeah…this is an interlude. Imagine bad elevator music or something…and…we're back._

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"Lily, Sirius, we're home!" James shouted when he and Remus materialized in the living room. The house was dead silent. "Lily? Sirius?"

Remus frowned. "Kitchen?"

James nodded, pulling out his wand. "I'll check upstairs," he whispered.

Remus pulled out his wand as well, tiptoeing into the kitchen. "Merlin!" he exclaimed. "JAMES!"

Remus pointed his wand at Lily to revive her. Shoving his wand into his pocket, he dropped to his knees to help her sit up.

"What the hell happened?!" James shouted, skidding to a halt just before he hit the kitchen table in a very undesirable spot.

Lily was rubbing her head, which she had bumped hard when she hit the ground the previous night. "What happened?" she said.

"No, that's what _I _want to know," said James.

"Wait, where's Sirius?" Remus questioned.

Memory of the previous night hit Lily like a brick and she jumped to her feet. "He did this!" she said. "He said he was sorry then the next thing I know, Remus is standing over me."

"He went after her," James stated. "How could you let this happen?!"

"Don't yell at me, James! This isn't my fault," Lily shouted back at her boyfriend.

"You were supposed to make sure he stayed in the house!"

"Oh, yeah, because I should have _expected _that Sirius Black would turn his wand on me!"

"Guys-" Remus tried to interject, but they were both to busy shouting at one another to listen. Then, before either himself or Lily could stop him, Remus watched James disapparate.

"He's going after Sirius," Remus stated.

A very angry redhead turned to face Remus, her anger melting slightly. "I can't believe him," she said quietly but deadly. "Blaming Sirius' disappearing on me…it isn't my fault."

"I know, Lily," Remus said, getting to his feet. "We need to go to headquarters…we have to find Sirius and James."

Nodding, Lily disapparated, followed closely by Remus.


	36. Chapter ThirtyFive

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

It had been nearly three weeks since Sirius disappeared and James went after him. Neither Lily nor Remus heard from either of the boys and Lily had become a nervous wreck. It was killing her that she and James had left each other on bad terms and, as each day passed, she grew more and more convinced that it was her fault and that she was never going to see him again.

She and Remus had taken to staying up nights at headquarters, waiting for word of their two friends while the rest of The Order was off looking for them, listening for even the smallest hints as to their whereabouts. Dumbledore had forbidden the two from going along with the other members, saying that they were too emotionally involved in this mission.

"Too emotionally involved?!" Lily had shouted to Remus after the old man had gone. "This whole fight is emotional! That is _ridiculous_!"

Lily found herself truly appreciating Remus' friendship as the days wore on. Even after all he had been through all too recently with Deborah Stevens' betrayal of not only The Order but Remus himself, he was being amazing to Lily.

She felt bad for him. The full moon had come, but James and Sirius were gone and Peter was still missing. When poor Remus came back from the period, he looked worse than Lily had ever seen him. There were scratches and deep gashes all over his body along with bite marks and various other injuries.

Taking a few days off from being at headquarters, Lily stayed in Godric's Hollow with Remus to heal some of his cuts and get him back to par. She didn't like seeing him this way…paler than she had ever seen and too weak to hold a glass of water.

It only took a couple of days for Remus to regain his strength. He had almost forgotten what it was like to spend a full moon alone…James, Sirius and Peter had been with him for so long. It was strange, and it was bad. Remus had never had such a bad time of it…

But Lily was an amazing caregiver, he noticed. He pondered these sorts of things while he was laying in bed to gather his strength back. He was truly lucky to have such amazing friends. Sirius and James and Peter had broken the law to help him and Lily, rather than being frightened of what he was, was letting him transform in her basement.

Remus wished that he could make Lily feel better. He wished that she would stop blaming herself for the disappearance of James and Sirius…Sirius had left because he didn't know what else to do, and he was consumed with grief that neither of them fully understood. James left because Sirius was his best friend and brother. James blamed himself because he felt that he should have been watching after Sirius…unfortunately that self-blame had him fighting with Lily.

Remus wondered why everyone was blaming anyone but the one person with whom the blame was _supposed _to rest…Deborah Stevens. This was her fault. At first Remus _did_ blame himself for bringing Deb Stevens into their lives, but Lily had forced him to face the facts. It wasn't his fault. But now Lily couldn't see that she wasn't to blame for anything either.

It was eating Remus alive.

What could he possibly do for the girl? He could hear her at night, crying herself to sleep in the bedroom across the hall or creeping around the house at three a.m. because she couldn't fall asleep. Remus didn't know what he could do to ease the pain she was feeling because of James' absence…

"Lily?" Remus knocked on her bedroom door, which was slightly open. Without waiting for an answer, he pushed it open and poked his head in. "Hey," he said.

"Hey, Remus," Lily said. She was laying on the bed, spread-eagled and staring at the ceiling…the same position that she had found James in the night that they had gotten together.

"Can I sit?" Remus requested.

"Of course."

Remus took a seat on the edge of the bed as Lily sat up and crossed her legs. "You okay?"

"I'm trying to be," Lily said honestly. "I really don't feel okay, though. I feel like-"

"None of this is your fault," Remus said sternly. "Sirius is filled with grief and James is trying to protect him from anything more happening to him. He shouldn't have yelled at you and he shouldn't have gone after Sirius by himself."

Biting her lip, Lily nodded. Deep down, she knew that Remus was right…Remus usually was. Still, it was hard not to feel somewhat responsible for all of this. A single tear fell from the corner of Lily's right eye. She quickly wiped it, trying to hide it from Remus, but it was followed by quite a few more.

Before she knew it, Lily was crying and Remus had taken hold of her, comforting the green-eyed redhead. As he rocked her back and forth, he wondered why James would leave her to herself. Yes, Sirius needed to be found, but why would James leave Lily the way he did? It wasn't right on his part…it just wasn't right…

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_I know that it's short, don't kill me…please. My apologies._


	37. Chapter ThirtySix

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

It was a Friday evening about a month after the disappearance of James Potter and Sirius Black that found Remus Lupin and Lily Evans at The Order of The Phoenix's headquarters, making dinner for those who were there that night.

Lily was slowly unraveling, even more so than before. Remus was angry that all that he could do was stand by and watch as James' absence took more and more of a toll on her. Sirius, he thought, was going to get a walloping when they found him. Even as she stood there, stirring the pasta, tears were threatening to spill past the barriers that were her eyelids. Remus had no idea that one person could feel such saddness over the absence of another. What he and Sirius had been feeling in reguards to the betrayal of Deborah Stevens and the death of Abby Cook was nothing compared to what Lily's emotions had been doing over the past month.

The arrival of Alastor Moody shook Remus from his thoughts. The Auror burst into the room, demanding to see Dumbledore.

"He just left," Remus informed the Auror. "He went back to Hogwarts."

"I found your friends," Moody said excitedly to the young ones. "We have a man on the inside and he knows where your friends are. He managed to convince his companions who captured Black and Potter to leave them for dead, telling them that they'd be in much more pain that way. Then our man came to me and gave me the location. The Death Eaters will have left about an hour ago. We can bring Potter and Black home."

"They're definitely alive?" Lily said shakily.

A beaming Moody nodded. "They're alive, young lady."

"Lets go!" Lily exclaimed, grabbing her cloak.

"Lils, no," said Remus. "Dumbledore said we're to stay here. Let someone else go."

"No, Remus!" Lily said sternly, walking toward Moody. "I am _done _waiting around for someone else to bring him home. I'm going."

Remus bit his lip in thought. "Fine," he said finally. He picked up his cloak, following the two from the house. "When Dumbledore cuts our heads off, I'm telling him to start with you."

"I'm fine with that," said Lily.

---

"They left us here," Sirius stated weakly.

"I noticed," James said, his voice cracking slightly. "However, we're wandless and we're chained up."

"Yeah…we're, er…we're going to die, aren't we?" Sirius said quietly.

"Most likely."

There was a slight pause.

"I'm sorry, mate," Sirius came out with. "I was stupid."

"Yeah, you were," James said, but then he smiled feebly at his friend. "Padfoot, you're my brother, and I don't regret coming after you."

"I regret not making you leave when you found me," Sirius said earnestly. "Lily…"

"Yeah," James said, knowing what he was going to say. "Yeah…"

"Wait a second," Sirius suddenly whispered.

"What?"

"Shh!" He strained to listen and then heard it again…a voice! A friendly voice! "Do you hear that?" Sirius whispered to James.

James struggled to listen, but heard nothing. "What is it?"

"It's…it's Remus," Sirius said, not knowing if he should dare to believe his own ears. "REMUS!" he suddenly shouted. "REMUS! UP HERE!"

In a shower of sparks, Remus Lupin burst into the room closely followed by dear Lily Evans with the man James recognized as Alastor Moody bringing up the rear.

"James!" Lily exclaimed, rushing to where he was. "Sirius!" she said, turning toward him. "I have half a mind to leave you there! Turning your wand on me…"

James chuckled, but stopped when Remus said, "Hey! I have half a mind to leave _you_ here, Mr. Lets Leave My Girlfriend After Fighting With Her So That She Feels Really Bad About Herself." This shut James right up and caused Lily to smile at her friend.

"Lets get out of here," Moody interjected roughly. "You can continue this little love fest back at headquarters where there's no chance of us getting _killed_."

"Au contraire, my dear man," Lily said as she and Remus unchained the other two. "Dumbledore is going to murder me and Remus."

With some quick wand work and a few well placed minor healing spells, the five disapparated from the holding cell, reappearing back at headquaters.

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_I'll understand if you hate me due to the short-ness of the chapters as of late...just one more to go, by the way._


	38. Chapter ThirtySeven

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

"You're meals will be out shortly."

"Thank you."

James and Lily sat together in a tiny restaurant on Diagon Alley. They were sitting at an outdoor table under the stars. It had been a week since James and Sirius had been found and this was the first time that the couple had found themselves alone…Dumbledore had sent Sirius and Remus on an assignment earlier that day.

What the couple would later find out was that their two friends had been sent out because Dumbledore had gotten information pertaining to the whereabouts of Miss Deborah Stevens. What they would later find out was that Stevens had been under the Imperius Curse the entire time…that Abby Cook shouldn't have died.

Dumbledore would be sending Deborah Stevens to St. Mungo's for psychiatric treatment. She wasn't doing well after learning that she had murdered a friend. It was all Remus could do not to scoop her up right then and there…he wanted so badly to comfort her…but no, he could not do that. Sirius needed his comfort more than Deb ever could.

Remus would later say that he believed it would have been easier on Sirius if Deb _had_ killed Abby on her own free will. While it still would have been a senseless killing, nothing could be more senseless than the situation that they were now facing…Abby need not have died.

After a few years in St. Mungo's Hospital, Deb Stevens took her own life, unable to cope with what she had done, regardless of the fact that she hadn't done it on her own free will.

But right now, Lily and James knew none of this. Right now, they were sitting together, having dinner…their love for each other more important to them than any other thing that was happening in the world outside of Diagon Alley.

"Alone at last," James said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"You just did the Sirius Eyebrow Wiggle," Lily said, giggling.

"No way, Lily-Billy! The Eyebrow Wiggle was _definitely_ mine first," James said, crossing his arms. "Sirius stole it from _me_."

"Sure, James…"

James chuckled as Lily shook her head. Once he had calmed down, he felt butterflies finding their way one by one into his stomach. _More like bats, actually_ he thought.

"Hey, Lils?" he said before sipping his water slowly.

"Hmm?"

"I love you," James stated. Lily smiled, nodding. "I'm sorry about yelling at you when Sirius took off…I never properly apologized for that, and I really should have before now."

"James, I can honestly say that Remus was the one who was mad at you…I was just really upset."

"Well, I'm sorry that I upset you then," said James. He reached across the table with both of his arms, taking Lily's hands. "I never wanted to upset you…and I never will again. You're my life and my love."

"I love you too, James," Lily said quietly, staring into his eyes.

Suddenly, as her emerald green pools melted his chocolate eyes, he felt the butterflies-or bats-disappear. He was sure of himself now…he was confident that he was doing the right thing. "Marry me, Lily," he said, his voice just above a whisper.

"What?"

"Marry me, Lily," James repeated, a bit louder this time. "I know that we've not been together for even a year yet, but what I also know is that we love each other, and the kind of love that we share most people never even get to experience. I think we're it, Lily Evans…I truly do. And what we're doing…it's dangerous, so we might not get to do this down the road, you know? I love you, and it's the only thing that I can ever be completely sure of. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lily…however long or short that life may be. I want to marry you."

Lily had started to cry as James made his speech, still holding her hands. She was too choked up to speak…she was happy. With a nod, she told him what would be the greatest thing he would ever hear in his life, and she had not even _spoken._

With his left hand, James reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box…

And the rest is history.

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_So I kind of burned out near the end where length is concerned…I'm sorry. Perhaps one day I will come back and revise, but for now I like it just fine the way it is. I would like to truly thank, from the bottom of my heart, everyone who gave this story a chance and stuck with it. I'd especially like to thank my lovely reviewers (in no particular order, of course…I love you all!)_

**Suddy**

**zanderm**

**Untamed Loner**

**gryffincri**

**Super Cara**

**lady potter7447**

**Vorima Calina**

**JustCallMeDollface**

**LunaBella 006**

**DanCing**

**jillybean90**

**Toxxic-hugs**

**CaTcH Me WhEn I fAlL-XoXo**

**The Silent Violist**

**asdf**

**MAnny2003**

**Thank you all so very much!**

_As this chapter went up, so did the first for a story that is titled The Archer's Bows Have Broken. Give it a read, won't you?_

_Thanks for reading._

**Fin.**


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